Re-boot

The last few days I have been going over and over my dance routine for my upcoming performance. The perfectionists in me had me deconstructing other dance routines and editing from what other do well to what I do well.

At the current time I am not that small and I am not going to do belly rolls outside of class. Nor am I daring enough to do full body waves. As it is the sight of myself in a Cabaret Belly Dance outfit made me want to run for the hills.

All my life I have been more modest. Sure there are the occasional over the top sexy outfits. These last few years I have worn more fitted clothing and tops, a few some dresses. It has been in an effort to remind myself to stand up straight, and keep my goal of losing weight in focus. Frankly I have never thought I had a body worth showing off.

What has helped my keep sane is the fact that I have been so disciplined in my work out routine and I have very seldom so much as missed a week of exercise and even then I was ill and not on vacation. Last years’ vacation we were sitting in the truck for so long when we got to in to Reno for a few days I hit the pool and did a few laps. With that in mind, the few sexy outfits have been ones that show off my good points and hid the rest. There is not much fabric to hide behind in a belly dance costume.

This year I have only been on weekend trips here and there and yes I took my dancing DVD’s with me so I could work out. Laptops that play DVD’s are helpful.


With all this in my head, I have taken a very ridged plan of attack on my upcoming performance. I dance to an hour every morning before going to work. I have my outfit so I can practice and not wait till the last second to put on the whole thing. I have been over thinking it a bit. Yes, I do tend to get obsessive. After showing my teacher my outfit and the dance I have been working on, I realized something. While preparation is great, I needed to relax and just remember that my audience will not know if I mess up, I can improvise some of this and I don’t need every step counted out. I listened to her advice and the parts that were giving me problems smoothed out and I feel so much better about the routine. That’s what I needed to do take a deep breath and re-boot.