Fun

Everyone has a different idea of what is fun. Some like to go on roller coasters or ride a bicycle or drive their motorcycle. I like being on my surfboard and that is fun for me. I also love riding my Vespa.

Not that sitting at the beach with a good book and sunlight is fun as well. I enjoy going to Monster Trucks as much as I like going to the symphony. Different evenings, yes, but both are fun. Each for very different reasons, I just try to have fun no matter what happens.

Last weekend I attended Comic-con down in San Diego. Now there is a group that has a different idea of fun. Since I grew up in the 80’s I am no stranger to Goth kids or Club Kids going out in full regalia. I just had not thought about seeing all of them at once, in the day light with lots of children around. I suppose that did not think about the fact that when they are hanging out in the mall they get used to kids being around them.

One thing that stuck me was that in the evening, I could find none of these kids. There were hundreds of them running around all day, where did they go? I asked a friend who has been to these before. She said they all go back to their hotels and ‘party’ and play video games or D and D all night.

Wow, so that and a six pack of Zima and they had a rockin' night. If that is fun for that crowd, then good for them. Some of us want to go dancing or concerts, but that is just us.

Everyone needs their own definition of fun, we can’t be too harsh on others ideas of fun. Okay a little bit, but not much.

Growing up

In talking to a friend recently it dawned on me that he is finally growing up. It’s so nice to see. I have known him for years and I have seen the more childish and selfish side of him. He is forgiven; we were at that place, once.

Now to hear him talk about the future and buying a house and all the plans he has, it makes me happy. Like a parent in a way. Not that I can take any credit for it, he did it on his own. I knew he would get there and always had faith that he would make it and he was just going through his immature faze. During that time I didn’t get on his case about things and let it go.

Now he is married and has a kid and coming to terms with what he has to do as a husband and as a man. He is not related to me at all, but as a friend I can say I am happy to see his progress.

That’s the thing; I don’t have to have children to feel like a mom. I just have to be there for my friends, in the good times and in the bad. Just writing about this and I wanted to cry. Brother, forget it if it had been my child, I would have never been able to be detached enough to let him figure things out on his own. I guess that is what dad’s are for.

I know I am not a family member or his mother by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just gratifying to see someone progress. No one wants to see their friends do badly; I guess some out there might, not me. I am always rooting for them to do better, even if I don’t always say it out loud.

I was talking to a new person the other day and telling them that I am an optimist. Their response was to tell a joke in which the punch line was that an optimist thinks everything is great. While a realist knows everything is horrid. I laughed but it doesn’t really explain things at all, I am not deluded and I don’t think everything is great. I hope and pray and want things to get better. Why? Since I realize things are bad now, I just work at making it better.

I am in no way a delusional child, but I have my eyes wide open. To me that is a big part of growing up, in that you have to decide who you will be. Some one that wants to hide from the future or someone that bravely faces it with optimism?

Friends

There is something to be said about being a good friend. I have found out the hard way that some people that I thought were friends have turned out to be back stabbers and thieves.

It has been happening over the last few years and I can say I am thoroughly disgusted with these people. The husband smiled and pretended to like us when his aim was to steal from us.

The wife is not without guilt as well, she made it clear that she didn’t respect him unless he could bring in huge amounts of money. His motivation was to gain her respect. That doesn’t excuse his conduct. He now tries to blame everyone else, even his victims. It makes no sense. That’s the whole point, he tries to convince every one of his innocence and it never adds up, since it is not the truth. The only thing I can figure is that he has to keep up the lie so his wife doesn’t find out the truth.

I would never do any of this, but it is always the way it ends up. The one trying to be a good friend never thinks that the other one will sell them out. The one trying to take advantage of the other is counting on the fact that the innocent one will be too good to return the evilthat was done. It had taken time for all of this to happen and it leaves you feeling helpless and sad and sorry for believing you were friends at all.

There are other things that come out of this, what will you do? Sue, them or let it go? The letting go is hard, since you feel like the sucker. Suing can take years and when it’s all over you might not be better off. How do you deal with the pain the other person has caused you?

I don’t know about the suing part just yet. The pain part has caused me to work harder to keep my mind on good things and not just focus on how evil this person has been. I have taken time to go surfing, doing something good for myself. I buy myself flowers to cheer myself up.

I can’t keep doing this though and some days all the little tricks and good intentions don’t help at all and I just feel hopeless. Those day are not easy to bear. It makes me wonder if the other party feels bad for all the pain they have caused?

At the end of the day, you should have some good friends that you can count on. It doesn’t mean you can never trust anyone, there is no reason to give up on people. If bad things happen, it doesn't mean it's hopeless. Good friend’s are great, even if it’s just a few of them.

Inside the Box

The other night at dinner a family was eating and talking next to us. One friend of that family a teenage boy was talking next to me. Yes I was listening, okay.

In over hearing his conversation I was shocked at how closed minded this child was. He was interested in designing guitars but had an aversion to other art forms and didn’t want to classify himself as being ‘artsy’. To him that meant he would focus on a certain discipline and ignore other forms of art and didn’t want anything to do with fine art, drawing and paintings, such as visits to the museums.

I could not believe what I was hearing. His friends and the other adults at the table tried to tell him that all artists are ‘artsy’ and he would not listen. While some disciplines and genres deserve respect as their own category one form of art can help the other in unexpected ways.

For myself I have had an improvement in my writing since I have been going to my Belly Dancing class. The thing about inspiration is that it comes from all sorts of places and you need to be open to in, in order to benefit from it. Also I have always thought of art as a way to open doors not close them.

Hearing this kid being so closed minded, in a way that only teenagers can be, was killing me. I wanted to hit him upside the head or shake him by the shoulders. I didn’t do either.

As that party rose to leave I tapped that boy on the shoulder and motioned for him to lean in and then I said, “The more you keep yourself open to all types of art, the better your own art will be.”
To which he said, “Thank you.” He left with the rest of them.

I think the others were asking him what I had said. I just had to. Now try to think outside the box buddy.