Social Scene

In the next few months there will be more occasions for people to get together. While some of us look forward to all these social events it does mean we will all end up in some scary situations.

I have already had a few and will share what happened and what I did about it. First there is the racist couple at a recent dinner party. I have had this happen from time to time. They sit and talk about how things are in your country or neighborhood of origin. These are never kind remarks, but you are at a party with your man's work mates. This is not the time to call them names. Change the subject to something you might have in common. I changed the topic to travel and let this couple know I have been to Europe a few times in the last few years. Later I talked about dogs and we mentioned our favorite breeds. The husband talked about surfing and we both had that in common.

The second sticky situation is being in at a table with someone you just met or were forced to sit next to. At a writers conference I was sat next to a woman that looked at me as if she couldn’t understand how I was in the chair next to her and not part of the wait staff. Again using a bit of grace and good old fashioned manners, I was able to talk to her about property we used to own in her area. She looked shocked that I knew anything about real estate markets. I asked her about herself, when all else fails and you don’t know what to say, let them talk. People love to talk about themselves and you just sit there and don’t have to say anything more than, “oh, really.”

While these were similar situations, in both called for good manners. The funny thing is that some of my friends think that I can talk to anyone and that I make friends easily. I can when I want to, but in some of the time I am just listening to others talk and laughing. I am not telling them my deepest fears or making friends, just being polite. I can make it look fun and make it look like I am having fun, when I am just trying to be social and not make a scene.