Dad's

While I am not close to my family and not a slave to made-up holidays, I do think of them from time to time.

Recently I was able to get my scooter up and running again. It makes me so happy and I can't wait to start taking her 'Sam' to work. Not only is it better for my pocket book, its fun.

There is a Scooter Exhibit I will go to see soon. The other thing I want to do it take my board out and go surfing. These are thought of as 'guy' things. That being said I have many girlfriends that share these interests.

My sister and I wanted our father's approval. Being children of divorce it was important that he showed interest in our hobbies. Yes it is important for all children, we just became more needy since he had already left. Which made us feel that he didn't love us.

My sister was always trying to gain his approval by doing well in sports. She did take to sports like a fish to water. For myself it was much more difficult. In my adult years I have pursued interest that would please him, scooters, motorcycle's, surfing. The thing is he doesn't know since we don't talk. In a strange way I have become the kind of son he always wanted.

The things I learned from my dad were not positive, the thing I inherited for him was my sense of humor and direction. For that I am grateful.

Light

It may seem silly to others, not artist,to think that when it comes to work there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel. What do I mean? Thanks to opera's like La Bohemia us artist are supposed to live on nothing more than wine and baguette of bread and our love for our work. Love interest is there too and that feeds us more than money ever could.

It seems silly, but we do sort of have that in our minds, as if we can swan in and out of doors with a great cape on and never worry about getting the money to buy that cape. As it is I do have a cape that reaches the floor and has a hood. I bought it years ago at Nordies Rack. Now I have that covered.

For work I have a nice parka that I use on raining days. Its lined and keeps me warm, the younger kids I work with envy me, and my parka. It didn't occur to me at first, then it hit me. They are still in tiny sweaters and don't have the money to buy a nice coat yet. That's the difference when you are older, you have the things you need already.

While its great to have the wardrobe I need, as an artist its hard to think about going into work day in and day out for years. There has to be a light at then end of the tunnel. One day my books will sell and I can stay home do the things I like, drink wine, write and yes swan into a room with my cape. To think about working at my job till retirement seems like a prison sentence. Maybe that's why I need to dance, write and surf to feel like myself again on the days I am not at work. I suppose that is the free spirit in me. The gypsy that comes out to play when I put on my belly dance costume, with its tasseled bra and gold trimmed skirt. And then the light comes up on stage and I am standing front and center. Cue the music.