In recent years people have used this term for the 70’s. I have no idea why. Something’s should be left alone by one culture or another.
It used to mean being from old money and being stuffy. To me old school mean the men in the film “ Chariots of Fire”, the scene when Abrams wins the gold medal and the Dean of Oxford and his friend a professor there are at the dinner table. A butler walks up and hands him the newspaper and says, “He did it Sir.” The two older men smile and raise a glass of cherry.
That is what old school meant, the old boys club. Men only in business and only if you had the right pedigree did you get in. Of course as time went on you could, buy your way in if you had enough money to get into the right country club and the right schools. Then these men of power would let you be a captain of industry as well, as long as you knew you would still play ball.
So how in any way does this apply to Fila track suits and Adias sneakers and gold chains around the neck, did I forget a Kanga hat? It doesn’t and it’s an example of one group using terms from another that don’t fit well. I am not saying language doesn’t change or shouldn’t. I suppose I just don’t want younger generations to think that “Old School” always meant hip-hop.
Will they care? Maybe not, but if no one says anything how will they know? Do I kick it old school? You bet I do……thought you knew, aye.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Happy Face
In my 38th lap around the sun, I some how been about to hold on to my optimism. I don’t really know how by the way. I’m not as cynical as some might think, I may say flippant remarks as a way to not talk about what is really bothering me, but deep down I want things to go well and want the best for my friends.
Sometimes it seems so wildly impractical of me to still think that there can be a happy out come to what should really be a tragedy. I have no contact with my mother and sister, and even though I prefer it that way, it’s because I have been so hurt by them that staying away from them is part of my survival skills. I know they won’t be in my life and that’s fine, but I want them to be successful and happy with out me.
I always try to find the good side to things and it’s not easy, since life can stink and it does a lot of the times. I laugh at the most horrible things. I have gained this sick sense if humor from my Dad. One person I have known said I have an “f-up” sense of humor. That is true by the way, maybe I am laughing instead of crying like I really want to.
I was not allowed to cry in front of my mother and sister. Both of them seemed to find it a weakness and I was told to ‘toughen-up’. Not that it was in my nature, I have always been more sensitive, which yes I know…..that contradicts the sick sense of humor. It’s not that I don’t feel bad when things go wrong, I just have learned to laugh at life and keep going.
So the few things I have learned is this: to laugh when nothing is really funny, to smile even when there is little hope things will get better and to pour myself a big drink. I also have learned to keep thinking of the few good things I have and focus on them. It seems I should really tell my friends this more often, so they don’t think I am so mean. I try to be happy with spending time at the beach and dancing in my class on Monday nights, and I try not to bemoan the fact that I haven’t been out dancing in forever. I stay at home and cook most of the time, to cheer myself up I use the nice napkins and buy myself flowers and tell myself it’s better to have something interesting to eat a home that be bored going to the same places over and over. Plus it’s healthier.
I do have an active imagination and I can always go into my dream world when all else fails. It may not seem like much and it may be silly and overly simplified, but it gets me though the tough times like every-day.
Since I have these coping skills not every knows what I am going through. Some how I have been able to show the world a Happy Face, but that’s not the whole story. It’s just that no one wants to hear all my tales of woe, they would rather see me be happy and smiling and telling jokes. That is okay, I can do that, too. :-)
Sometimes it seems so wildly impractical of me to still think that there can be a happy out come to what should really be a tragedy. I have no contact with my mother and sister, and even though I prefer it that way, it’s because I have been so hurt by them that staying away from them is part of my survival skills. I know they won’t be in my life and that’s fine, but I want them to be successful and happy with out me.
I always try to find the good side to things and it’s not easy, since life can stink and it does a lot of the times. I laugh at the most horrible things. I have gained this sick sense if humor from my Dad. One person I have known said I have an “f-up” sense of humor. That is true by the way, maybe I am laughing instead of crying like I really want to.
I was not allowed to cry in front of my mother and sister. Both of them seemed to find it a weakness and I was told to ‘toughen-up’. Not that it was in my nature, I have always been more sensitive, which yes I know…..that contradicts the sick sense of humor. It’s not that I don’t feel bad when things go wrong, I just have learned to laugh at life and keep going.
So the few things I have learned is this: to laugh when nothing is really funny, to smile even when there is little hope things will get better and to pour myself a big drink. I also have learned to keep thinking of the few good things I have and focus on them. It seems I should really tell my friends this more often, so they don’t think I am so mean. I try to be happy with spending time at the beach and dancing in my class on Monday nights, and I try not to bemoan the fact that I haven’t been out dancing in forever. I stay at home and cook most of the time, to cheer myself up I use the nice napkins and buy myself flowers and tell myself it’s better to have something interesting to eat a home that be bored going to the same places over and over. Plus it’s healthier.
I do have an active imagination and I can always go into my dream world when all else fails. It may not seem like much and it may be silly and overly simplified, but it gets me though the tough times like every-day.
Since I have these coping skills not every knows what I am going through. Some how I have been able to show the world a Happy Face, but that’s not the whole story. It’s just that no one wants to hear all my tales of woe, they would rather see me be happy and smiling and telling jokes. That is okay, I can do that, too. :-)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Just Looking
As girls and women wonder through the malls together they are often met with well meaning sales persons asking if they need any help. The response “Just looking,” usually sends them away. That gives us girl the privacy we need to talk some more.
Most men seem to think that when women go to the malls is just going to mean money leaving the bank account. While that does happen so does some thing else; time together to talk and catch up and see nice things in the window.
I make sure the when I go to the malls it doesn’t add up to a huge bill. I know that doesn’t happen in other families. For my girlfriends and myself we use this time as bonding and quality time. Why go to the mall to do this? Why not? There are restaurants and nice things to look at. All the time we are talking about our families and jobs.
The conversations can be very intimate depending on how close we are, and it doesn’t take long to get there. Half-way through the mall we can be talking about pap tests and confess whether or not we have ever faked an orgasm. To men this may seem like too much.
But ask yourself, has your girlfriend ever talked about something that was bothering her while you were in the grocery store or other public place? Did you feel it wasn’t the right time or place? That is because that doesn’t exist for women. Any place with a close friend and more so with a boyfriend or husband is the right place to say something. Be it the shoe store or Starbucks or the produce isle of the store. If it bothers her enough to bring it up, my advice, listen.
What I am trying to say is this: Time spent at the mall is not about the items in the windows, it’s about girl time. So when we are with men, we still have this frame of mind. Time together is the right time to talk about the home or problems we are having and time to really be with our men.
It does not need to be, after dinner before your go to bed, only when you are relaxed. As women we have had to learn this, because if we talk to you at other times you don’t want to hear us. So rather than thinking going to the mall as a big hole in your pocket book, go with your girl, you can then monitor spending and if she brings up personal things, let her. You may not end up spending any money but gain an understanding into what is going on with her.
If you let her go on and on about life and work and as the sales people come up she may not want to stop talking and off-handily tell them, “Just looking.”
Most men seem to think that when women go to the malls is just going to mean money leaving the bank account. While that does happen so does some thing else; time together to talk and catch up and see nice things in the window.
I make sure the when I go to the malls it doesn’t add up to a huge bill. I know that doesn’t happen in other families. For my girlfriends and myself we use this time as bonding and quality time. Why go to the mall to do this? Why not? There are restaurants and nice things to look at. All the time we are talking about our families and jobs.
The conversations can be very intimate depending on how close we are, and it doesn’t take long to get there. Half-way through the mall we can be talking about pap tests and confess whether or not we have ever faked an orgasm. To men this may seem like too much.
But ask yourself, has your girlfriend ever talked about something that was bothering her while you were in the grocery store or other public place? Did you feel it wasn’t the right time or place? That is because that doesn’t exist for women. Any place with a close friend and more so with a boyfriend or husband is the right place to say something. Be it the shoe store or Starbucks or the produce isle of the store. If it bothers her enough to bring it up, my advice, listen.
What I am trying to say is this: Time spent at the mall is not about the items in the windows, it’s about girl time. So when we are with men, we still have this frame of mind. Time together is the right time to talk about the home or problems we are having and time to really be with our men.
It does not need to be, after dinner before your go to bed, only when you are relaxed. As women we have had to learn this, because if we talk to you at other times you don’t want to hear us. So rather than thinking going to the mall as a big hole in your pocket book, go with your girl, you can then monitor spending and if she brings up personal things, let her. You may not end up spending any money but gain an understanding into what is going on with her.
If you let her go on and on about life and work and as the sales people come up she may not want to stop talking and off-handily tell them, “Just looking.”
Friday, May 2, 2008
Rain
I don’t know why southern Californians complain when we get a bit of rain. We need the rain for things to grown and we need the water later to drink and use to wash things.
One thing I will never defend is the driving around here when it does rain. Never let it be said that we know how to drive in the rain, since we clearly don’t. In one morning after a heavy rain there were 100 crashes. That was a few years back, but it still brings home the point that a little rain and every one freaks out.
If you look at the hills right now there is nice green grass and there is lupin blossoming on the sides of the road along the freeways. All this since we had a bit of rain.
I am looking forward to my spring garden to come up. I have planted tulips and other flowers. Later I will plant some veggies for the summer garden. Some of my tulips are starting to sprout.
We don’t have to plan too far in advance to get things to grow around here. Plus we don’t have to take things in like they do back east. I don’t know if I would like having to drag in plants and cover everything up like Martha Stewart shows on her program.
The only thing that I don’t like about the rain is that it keeps me out of the ocean. I know some don’t do this, but I make sure to stick to the 72 hour rule. I love to go out in the water but it is not worth me getting sick from the run off. I can wait it out.
I was glad that it had rained, when I planted my flowers since the ground was nice and soft. It was easy to work in. All of that and it was thanks to a little rain.
One thing I will never defend is the driving around here when it does rain. Never let it be said that we know how to drive in the rain, since we clearly don’t. In one morning after a heavy rain there were 100 crashes. That was a few years back, but it still brings home the point that a little rain and every one freaks out.
If you look at the hills right now there is nice green grass and there is lupin blossoming on the sides of the road along the freeways. All this since we had a bit of rain.
I am looking forward to my spring garden to come up. I have planted tulips and other flowers. Later I will plant some veggies for the summer garden. Some of my tulips are starting to sprout.
We don’t have to plan too far in advance to get things to grow around here. Plus we don’t have to take things in like they do back east. I don’t know if I would like having to drag in plants and cover everything up like Martha Stewart shows on her program.
The only thing that I don’t like about the rain is that it keeps me out of the ocean. I know some don’t do this, but I make sure to stick to the 72 hour rule. I love to go out in the water but it is not worth me getting sick from the run off. I can wait it out.
I was glad that it had rained, when I planted my flowers since the ground was nice and soft. It was easy to work in. All of that and it was thanks to a little rain.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Pups
I have been looking after my dog’s pups and trying to place them into nice homes. It has been a few months and it has been busy. I am glad I don’t have childern and having the dogs is a bit like having kids, kids with fur.
It has been fun getting to know their personalitys. One of the boys we have been calling Shy boy, is no longer shy. He was to begin with but now he is out going and since he is teething he is bitty.
The other boy is so quite and soft and cuddly. He just wants to be held and will watch TV with us. There are two girls both sweet and kissy. All of them hold your hand with their front paws to keep you hand on their chest. That way you won’t stop scratching them. Just like their mother.
The boys take after their dad, payful and he snaps his teeth, a playful thing for him. We have tried to break him of this habbit. The dad is playful and jumps around a lot so do his sons.
I have to share photos with every one so here goes!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Mom's
I recently found out gossip about my own family, from a friend. It seems that my sister no longer lives with my mother. From what I hear she lives back in Long Beach. That does cause me to be concerned since my sister had a lot of bad habits and friends that influenced her in those bad habits all back in Long Beach.
Her move does not surprise me, since she didn’t like the city that my mother lives in and she likes to live by the beach. I don’t know why she keeps going back to Long Beach, there are nicer places to live and nicer beaches.
The thing about my mother is that she is very hard to live with. She is very needy and my sister doesn’t do needy. My sister is not at all comforting and does not encourage but berates you when you are feeling down. There is no room for tears and while my mother doesn’t cry that much she does whine, a lot. My sister does not tolerate that.
When I have been low and was pouring out my heart to my sister she didn’t want it to last more than ten minutes and I should be done. If I exceeded that limit she would say, “Aren’t you done yet? Are you that Needy!” and yes raised her voice at me. I have listened to my mother all evening as she recounted her day and all the “slights” she imagined everyone in her office sent her way.
My mother will not stop being needy and wants everyone to listen endlessly to her complaints. My sister thinks everyone should get over themselves. She really doesn’t get over things that easily either, but she doesn’t have time to listen to people, she finds it offensive and thinks that when people tell them her problems, it means she is included in a group of losers. She considers this a put down, that people tell her their problems.
Neither one of these women are married. My mother was left by both of her husbands and now that I am an adult I can’t help but think it was because no one has that much time to pay attention to her.
As for my sister, she has no empathy for others and no patience. She feels every one should be tough like her and no one should be over weight or needy or have problems. So how can any one be close to her? Even men want to look to their wives to listen to them and to be supportive.
It comes as no surprise they parted ways. The both are unyielding, and they both think they are right. Both of them are wrong, they both need to compromise. They can’t do that if they think they are right.
I am so glad to be away from both of them and I never go to visit my mom’s place.
Her move does not surprise me, since she didn’t like the city that my mother lives in and she likes to live by the beach. I don’t know why she keeps going back to Long Beach, there are nicer places to live and nicer beaches.
The thing about my mother is that she is very hard to live with. She is very needy and my sister doesn’t do needy. My sister is not at all comforting and does not encourage but berates you when you are feeling down. There is no room for tears and while my mother doesn’t cry that much she does whine, a lot. My sister does not tolerate that.
When I have been low and was pouring out my heart to my sister she didn’t want it to last more than ten minutes and I should be done. If I exceeded that limit she would say, “Aren’t you done yet? Are you that Needy!” and yes raised her voice at me. I have listened to my mother all evening as she recounted her day and all the “slights” she imagined everyone in her office sent her way.
My mother will not stop being needy and wants everyone to listen endlessly to her complaints. My sister thinks everyone should get over themselves. She really doesn’t get over things that easily either, but she doesn’t have time to listen to people, she finds it offensive and thinks that when people tell them her problems, it means she is included in a group of losers. She considers this a put down, that people tell her their problems.
Neither one of these women are married. My mother was left by both of her husbands and now that I am an adult I can’t help but think it was because no one has that much time to pay attention to her.
As for my sister, she has no empathy for others and no patience. She feels every one should be tough like her and no one should be over weight or needy or have problems. So how can any one be close to her? Even men want to look to their wives to listen to them and to be supportive.
It comes as no surprise they parted ways. The both are unyielding, and they both think they are right. Both of them are wrong, they both need to compromise. They can’t do that if they think they are right.
I am so glad to be away from both of them and I never go to visit my mom’s place.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Too Good
I feel too good to be at work today. I started my day at the gym, at my Pilate’s class, and even though it is a hot day, for some reason I want to go dancing or something. It must be the engergy I have from going to my class this morning.
I also had to stop by a friend’s house to drop off a present. It always feels good to do something nice for someone. Even more so when you get to see the things you picked out being appreciated! There is nothing like picking out a gift and finding out it was just right. So I did my good deed for the day as well and it isn’t even noon yet.
Okay anything else is going to be a let down, compared to what I have already done. I have work to do and I will get it done by the end of the day. I just feel too good to be at work.
I have to make some salsa for the weekend and I have to finish a few things at the house, it’s not too much to look forward to, but it’s something. I know I won’t get a chance to dance till I go to my belly dancing class on Monday.
Or maybe it is the beach that I miss, I could be out on the sand. I could be reading and working on my tan. I could be in the water and floating on my board, get out and let my feet dangle off the sides.
The summer vacations of our childhood spoil us terribly! I mean here I am a grown woman in my late 30’s and I can’t shake this feeling that I am owed days upon days of idle time and daydreams not yet envisioned.
It’s a Friday and that means nothing to me, just another evening. But right now my feet and hands won’t be still. So I’d better get going and do something productive today. I know, I have to be an adult and it stinks, and even more so on a day like today when I feel way too good to be at work.
I also had to stop by a friend’s house to drop off a present. It always feels good to do something nice for someone. Even more so when you get to see the things you picked out being appreciated! There is nothing like picking out a gift and finding out it was just right. So I did my good deed for the day as well and it isn’t even noon yet.
Okay anything else is going to be a let down, compared to what I have already done. I have work to do and I will get it done by the end of the day. I just feel too good to be at work.
I have to make some salsa for the weekend and I have to finish a few things at the house, it’s not too much to look forward to, but it’s something. I know I won’t get a chance to dance till I go to my belly dancing class on Monday.
Or maybe it is the beach that I miss, I could be out on the sand. I could be reading and working on my tan. I could be in the water and floating on my board, get out and let my feet dangle off the sides.
The summer vacations of our childhood spoil us terribly! I mean here I am a grown woman in my late 30’s and I can’t shake this feeling that I am owed days upon days of idle time and daydreams not yet envisioned.
It’s a Friday and that means nothing to me, just another evening. But right now my feet and hands won’t be still. So I’d better get going and do something productive today. I know, I have to be an adult and it stinks, and even more so on a day like today when I feel way too good to be at work.
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