Past

In the past in this blog I have said some things about my mother and that we do not talk and I like it that way.

While that is still true and I am not calling her anytime soon. I have been watching a new TV show and the family is a mess and the father a raging alcoholic. The children are all on their own, they are paying the bills and buying the food. I don't feel pity for them, but proud of them, they have been forced to be resourceful. I can see that people like that, when they grow up will not want for anything. They will know how to take care of themselves.


Isn't that what parents are supposed to teach? Isn't the purpose of having kids, to train them to responsible adults? Not to have them hanging around the house at 30 without a job and no motivation to get one.

I'm not suggesting that parents give kids a hard time just to see if they come out on top, but that self-esteem is not the most important thing. In recent surveys American kids are doing horrid in their studies, but all have great self-esteem. They don't know they stink at math. The Asian kids think they need to improve in their math, but have great scores. The insecurity is driving them to keep working, while the American kids are in denial.

What is interesting to me is that every once in a while these theory's come around. Be kind to your kids, don't keep score at games. It sounds a lot like the things Dr Spock said. Funny thing about that, he recanted on all of that later in life. He admitted he was wrong and he raised a generation of brats. No one listened to him when he said it wasn't a crime to discipline your children, all anyone remembers is if you spank your child it will stop them being the genus they should be.

My mother was hard on me and it did help me be a better disciplined person. The reason I am no longer close to her is that it did not stop, there was never a time when she said I did well. Trying to gain her approval was like chasing windmills. I had to leave that in the past.

In the present I can be happy that I am organized and that I am the person I want to be. Sure there are things I still need to work on, but for the most part I feel better about myself, compared to how my mother made me feel. I don't hate my past, I do try to draw on the good qualities it made in me.

Week

In the last week I have gone to three events at South Coast Plaza. It may seem silly, but they do some nice things.

The first was for a lingerie shop that had my favourite champagne and chocolates out along with personal shoppers. It was a great time and we bought some nice things. There was also a gift cert, for a photo shoot and I have yet to look into that.

Since that was a great event, we were very disappointed in Fridays event. The Fashion show was nice and they had dragons in honour of Chinese New Year, they must have spent the bulk of their budget on those dragons. There was not the spread of former years and it was not as fun. I'm not sure if we will give that another try, there was some good discounts so that was nice.

The third event was yesterday and it was not explained to me well enough. At the make-up counter at a great store there was an artist there. After you spent a certain amount and had your make up done, not only did you get the gift but the artist, who does illustrations for major design houses and magazines, did a portrait of you. I would have done that had I known, I did get my make-up done and bought a few things, not enough to get my portrait done. He may not be back, I didn't totally miss out. I asked him to sign a Barbie that is part of the fashion house he does art work for.

Why keep going to this mall for events? Simple, free eats and drinks. These days only a few have the money to keep going out for fabulous evenings. With a little planning I have been able to have a great time and spend just a bit. The lingerie event was fun, even seeing a man buy two gifts one for his wife and one for his 'friend'. Really he is the sucker keeping up two women in expensive gifts.

The other way to help keep up a nice life style on a budget, the Bevmo 5 cent sale. Last weekend I was able to stock up on wines and champagne with out breaking the bank. That sale is going on for a few more weeks, Cheers!

New List

This week I have been doing some boring work on the computer. To help me get through it I have been playing DJ or VJ on You Tube.

Its been a trip down memory lane for sure, but not a pining for youth. It just reminded me of the 80s and how all the bands really were trying for something new and differ ant and not something just marketable. I remember at the time a boy in my class yelling at me that none of the punk bands or alternative bands ever won a Grammy, to which I said "No and they wouldn't want one either."

I am glad to be an adult and I don't want to go back to being a teenager, when I couldn't buy beer and go out at night. I have done a lot as an adult and I don't want to go back, I just loved that time in my life and listening to the radio with all these wonderful bands.

It is also fun to see how much I remember the lyrics and the intonations of the singers voices. Some I haven't listened to in years. It makes me happy. I get that feeling I had when I was young and anything seemed possible. Its better now since I don't have my mother telling me I can't go out or have those albums.

Its has been great and while I live in this century and am not stuck in the 80s, its fun to visit and I have a huge new list of songs that need to go onto my Ipod. There is nothing like some great music to cheer me up every once in a while.