Kindness

We all have times when we want to get back at people when we want revenge. Okay maybe not that bad, it just may mean we are upset at the moment.

The best thing to do? It is often hard to say. Sure it may feel good to get the 'upper hand', as it were. Most of the times it has the opposite effect.

Is there anything wrong with 'killing with kindness'? Yes it's better if we take the high road and do things people don't expect. As long as its a kind thing, can they really get mad?

In my experience they don't usually get mad when you do something nice. If there is something good and kind that we can do, then what is stopping us? Let's try to find kind words and good deeds to get us through the rough times.

If I can be remembered as a nice person that cooked well and was a good friend, is there anything better?

Teachers

When I was a little girl I thought teachers were just great people who knew everything. This was before I know anything about ‘teacher’s edition’ books.

Over the years I have had many teachers. Lately they have all been exercise teachers and dance instructors. Which is fine, I usually make friends with them and it has been great. They have come to see my recitals and other dances. It has helped me to find the courage to get out there and dance.


Others are teachers without having a class. I learned a lot from one of my old managers. She wasn’t old; it’s just that she was at a job I used to have. She taught by example and she was always kind and generous in her time and knowledge. I have learned a lot from the men I work with now.

Last week there was a customer that was just so unreasonable and looking for a fight. It wasn’t given to him. We have to rise above it. It can be challenging when they are so unreasonable.

I try to learn from other women as well. Different cultures can teach us different ways of doing things. I have learned things from my friends in Europe; they are much more gracious than American’s. The fashion magazines try to teach us how to dress but sometimes they would have us looking silly. I don’t want to be a fashion victim; that’s for sure.

I don’t think I would be a good teacher, and for that reason I am glad I don’t have kids. It’s not that I haven’t learned things to pass on. It’s just that I have gotten stubborn the older I get, I don’t know if I would want the students to learn their way, or my way. It may be that I would want them to be like me and not themselves. I can be that way sometimes. It’s not intentional, just a side effect of my own ego.



From my English teachers I learned a love for words. From my geography teachers I learned the mountain ranges of the world and that put a desire in me to see them, to travel and see these places with my own eyes. From my dance teachers I learned a love for this art form and a desire to execute it correctly. To all my teachers….Thank you for making me better!

D.V.

Diana Vreeland used to have a column called “Why don’t you?” It is in that spirit that I offer up the following:

Stay in to save money, but pick up chocolate soufflé at Trader Joe’s. Made for two they are cheap and fool proof. Saving money need not be boring. :-)

Start your spring cleaning. Just work on one room per week. It’s time to get our summer clothes, give them washing or use some linen spray. I get mine at TJMAXX.

Send a cute or loving or sexy text message today? If you feel it say it.

Pick a new recipe out of your cookbook and try it? If you don’t have one, look at Martha Stewart.com. Always an inspiration in the kitchen!

Check and see if any of the plays or musicals you want to attend, are offering discounts during the week. Cheap seats, but you get out of the house and get some entertainment.

Grab a few extra bottles of wine during your weekly shopping. Traders and BevMo have many inexpensive brands to choose from, your pocket book will hardly notice and when someone drops by, you will have some on hand.

Cook more than one meal at a time. I cook for the week on Monday afternoons. The rest of the week I just open the frig and nuke what I have. It’s great when you are tired and don’t want to cook.

Take an afternoon and turn in your bottles and cans. Take the money and treat yourself to something nice. Make sure your treat doesn’t include calories. Mani-pedi? Or some nice stationary? Too bad wine bottles don’t have deposits on them. I would have new shoes.

The next time you go to the mall and get yourself something get something for someone else. Don’t know what they will want? Hit up the makeup and cologne counters for samples. Put them in a goodie bag and give them to a new mom or male friend that doesn’t go to the mall that often.

Holidays over? Bake some muffins or cup cakes and give them out to friends. No one can say “No,” to a cupcake. Not that big and just right to cure a sweet tooth.

Big day out

Saturday we had a great time and took advantage of living in So Cal. First we put out chickens into their new coop. They were happy and have a nice perch to use and a hutch to sleep in as well.

I cooked up a nice brunch; eggs cheese blintzes and banana, along with champagne. Then it was off to Disneyland. We had not been there in a few years; it was time to go again. The Pirates were down, which was a bummer. One of my favorites, not to worry tea cups were still running. This ride always makes me giggle.

There is some good shopping to be had, and not just the hats. We stopped by the estate jewelry store in New Orleans Square. I tried on a 1920’s flapper ring. Diamonds set in platinum with emeralds. It was a bit over priced, but so gorgeous! I was able to get some Tara Tarintino handbags. One evening bag and one big structured number, both were in leopard print and soft.

After that I was tired, but no rest for the weary. It was time to go home change and then go up to Hollywood for an art opening/ book signing. Betty Page, Heaven bound was the theme. I have met Olivia before at comic con and had her sign things for me. This was no exception and she was as accommodating as ever.

The crowd was what I expected; I knew I had gotten to the right spot when I saw a line of girls dressed to the nines outside. It took a while, but when we got inside there was Superman and Dracula. Some of the ‘girls’ were tall and wore huge heels, which made them tower above the rest.

While in line to get drinks a woman came up and started talking to me out of the blue. It wasn’t a wonder since I was almost to the front and she just took cuts. Her opening line, “Would you like a sip of rum while you wait?” showing me her flask. Okay, rule one from Kindergarten, Don’t take things from strangers! I politely declined her offer. We did chat about silly things and remarked about how crowed it was.

This is one of the few days I have been able to indulge my inner child and then go off and do more mature things in the evening. I guess that is what made it so special, that and sharing it with someone else. I am glad I didn’t miss out on either event. The Olivia event was defiantly the E-ticket!

Book Fest

This last weekend was the annual Festival of Books, held at UCLA. Please don’t think that books or reading is dead. I have attended this event for several years and this year was the most packed I have ever seen it.

Not only do you get to meet the writers and have them sign your books, there are so many vendors and others to visit and see. One feature of the book fest is the panel discussion and interviews with writers. I was able to attend one with Gore Vidal, who has written 22 novels, along with books of essays and so much more.

Since Gore Vidal is noted for his outspokenness on politics, every one that I have mention his name to, has asked me the same question; what did he say?

He started out with an antidote about FDR, who was being pushed around the White House by a young service man. His wheel chair had been stuck and he needed to get to a certain office. The young man was so scared and didn’t know the way to the office he needed to get to. So he keep running down the hall way and then he finally came to the supply closet and put the President in it and closed the door. Roosevelt with his loud booming voice called for help to get out. “I might not be assassinated, but I might be the first President in history to be filed!”

Gore Vidal kept referring to Bush, as ‘the little guy from Texas’. When you are as old as he is, you have earned the right. When asked if history will correctly reflect Bush and Chaney as being horrible, he quipped, “Well every empire has to have its Caligula.” He was appalled that Bush had made the statement that he was a war-time President. He hoped that Obama would not use a military-based economy to fix things. If he went to Afghanistan it could be the start of another war. Gore said to let the Afghans kill each other. Also that 9-11 was because of the USA getting involved in other countries affairs. It was not the work of Al- Qaeda. The thing about with dictators and others who think too much of themselves, they get into a habit of lying.

Of course all of this and more will be in his books and any upcoming essays of his. It was so interesting to listen to a man who has had such a remarkable life. I asked him about his motivation as a writer. He didn’t seem to like that question and just said, “Look, you are either a writer or you’re not.”

I took it as, “I still have a lot to say and I will say it.” To that all I can say is…Here, Here!

Changes

This week has seen big changes in the weather. From the blazing hot this weekend and now cold today. Last weekend the beaches were crowed with families wanting to beat the heat. Of course I was nowhere near the beach. The last place I wanted to be in a crowd.

There have been changes in my job as well. Some are good, most of them, I will just have to wait and see. The most pointed is my attitude. I have to change the way I think about things and that is not easy for me.

A few years ago at another job we all had to read the “Who moved my cheese?” book. In my mind I would like to think that I adjust well. In reality it does take me a while. My ego stops me from looking at how things are, since I want to look who I think it should be. Yes good old denial.

When I get blue, I revert to my daydreams and I play little movies. In these daydreams things come out great and wrap up nicely, I suppose like the wrap of a sitcom. Sure I know deep down that things never wrap up like that and I have never experienced such nice resolutions to my own problems. I just use it as a tool to calm myself down and to regain the optimism I need to keep going.


What kind of daydreams do I have? I dream of the day that I will get the call from a literary agent and they want to take on my book. Another is a meeting with some magazine people about a piece I turned in. There is also the meeting with producers for my script daydream. In all of these I get what I want and my make-up looks great throughout. We won’t go into the Oscar speak daydream, but I have a great dress in that one.

Reality can be so dismal and I have to give myself my own pep talk with these daydreams. The bad part is that my life right resembles none of this and I still have to do the dishes and feed the dogs and run errands for the shop I work at.

I have achieved some of my dreams, and I hope to see others through to fruition. I do this by watching movies about writers, where they get what they want in the end. I read books about the publishing world and this weekend I am going to meet lots of writers at the Festival of Books at UCLA. This will help my soul, to met writers that have made it. I also attend readings in LA from time to time. This also helps me to see that my daydreams are not just total pipe dreams. If I didn’t use the daydreams as a buffer from the real world, I might not have the courage to make change.

Scotland

I usually joke that the only thing about me that is Scottish is my dogs and my whiskey; after years of waiting to go overseas I was now looking down at green hills and white sheep of Scotland. It was just as breathtaking as I had thought.

We landed in Prestwick and our friends were there to greet us at the gate. I hadn’t seen Maddy and Andy in a few years. We met them in San Francisco prior to this and had kept up with emails.

Since we had been traveling for three weeks now and had picked up souvenirs along the way, along with shoes, and purses and other clothing our bags we bursting. Our friends, Maddy expecting mind you, showed up in a Mini, to collect us from the air port. I don’t think that boot could carry as much as it did. Not that we cared, after being in countries where we did not speak the language, it was nice to speak English with our friends.

They took us to Sterling Castle and Edinburgh, also a day trip on the Waverly, a seafaring paddle boat. The only Scottie dog we saw in Scotland was on one of the Islands we stopped at off the coast. There was a group of older men that were celebrating a birthday, when they left the boat in the evening they were dragging their friend, presumably the birthday man, to the car since he could no longer walk on his own.

Another night we met up with fellow Scooter people we had met before, when they were on holiday. We had fun catching up with them and sharing a drink and a laugh. Of course when they all get together it doesn’t sound like English anymore. On the way home we saw three NEDS, that stands for None Educated Delinquents’. One young man had his cheeks completely raw and bloody; he was drunk and had already been in a fight. Seeing him I wanted to ask if Andy needed to use his mobile and call for help. The young man saw I was staring and before I could offer help he started to curse at me and gave me a shove. My man and Andy got in-between myself and the other three; threw them dirty looks. Nothing happened and the three of them kept on their way. My friend Andy was mortified that we had to encounter that. I told him, “It’s not an adventure if nothing happens.” We were fine and got some pizza and went home.

It was great to be with friends and met new ones while we were in Scotland. We did some sightseeing, visited Andy’s parents, and did some shopping. After the record breaking heat of the rest of the trip I was so glad I still had a sweater to wear in Scotland and thankful for the clouds and mild temperature.

Yes we tried some Haggis and it was good. Of all the places we had been to, we were told we had only been in the lowlands. It was hard to say good bye at the airport and we promised to come back. Since we have great friends there, Scotland and Glasgow holds a special place in our hearts!