The End

A big part of my life is ending. I am sadden of course, so much effort was put into it. It is great waste of time and money and that makes me sick.

Then there is something else. That person had their chance to make it great, go big, be a success and they have not. I feel happy that I was part of it and it was great. It still makes me happy that the chance was taken, that it was put out there. Help was given, we tried to make a difference.

Now what? I still have other things I can do. I always have, also its time to worry about me again. Its time to work on my career and its time to focus on that. One door is closing and another is opening.

This change is not going to be easy and it will get worse before it gets better. It will get better, there will be an end to all the bad stuff I am going head long into right now. For now I have to hunker down and just deal with it.

The next step is already in the works, and to that end I am putting my name in the hat to do a reading this weekend. I still want to remain friends, its always better that way. No need to burn bridges. All the energy I put into this project will be redirected to my own projects. I still have lots of goals to pursue.

So it may the end of one thing and the begging of another.

Helping a friend

This year I have discussed much about saving money. The best thing I have done is to get my chickens. Some of my friends thought I was crazy when I said I wanted them.
They are worth their weight in gold!

I have been able to help my friends by giving them fresh eggs. Another friend imports veggies and we have been doing a farmers exchange. Eggs for beans and other items. Others are begging to be on my list to get eggs.

This month people are going to be exchanging gifts. What other gift do you need but to help your friends? None of us are going to get through these hard times with out pulling together. Do you have an extra bottle of wine? Can you make your friends up a plate of food and give them some wine to go with it? Do you have clothes you have hardly worn some one else can use?

If your friend has a business that needs customers let people know. To that end here goes. Check out Pin Up Star they are running a special. If you want to give art to your friends check out www.leoralutz.com

This is just what I can do right now to help a friend.

Fast-faster

The last few weeks have been a blur to me. There has been so much going on, too much to write about.

This had been the hardest year at the shop I work at, and it maybe time for me to take on even more work, just to keep my head above water. I don't know if its a fast reaction, or I should have done this sooner. If I don't act fast and get a move on, it could get worse, faster than you can say, "stop the world I want to get off!"

Not to worry I wouldn't do anything drastic, its just imperative that I help my family. These aren't the days for idle time and dreaming away, we need to roll up our sleeves and get going.

We can't take a nap and hope things will get better, the only way we can catch up is to work hard. I already have a job, but I have to look for another one. If it works out, I may have very little time to write my blogs. Or they will be shorter. Not that I don't still have a lot to say, I just need to say it faster.

Love Boat

After all this time with my man, we finally went on a cruise ship. Since neither one of us had ever done this, we opted for a short 3 day cruise, just to get our 'feet wet'.

As it was it went well. I have to say I did think of the music to the love boat as I boarded the ship. I wanted to call the captain "Cap tin Steuben" but he was from Europe, I don't know if he would get the reference.

With all I have heard over the years, the buffets are just buffets. Its not that spectacular. I suppose if you are not used to really nice meals it would knock your socks off. It did not bowl me over. It was fine, but not the best I have ever had, and some people were very rude in the lines, that got old fast.
The prices for the tickets were nice and cheep, so this cruise with with us bargain hunters. The prices for a massage were overpriced. For the same amount I could get one massage a week at my normal place here in Fullerton and have tip money left over.

There was also vastly over priced art work, that wasn't very good. We visited the auction since they served free champagne. In these ruff times the free things win! A little over an hour later and we had high- tea in an other part of the ship.

The good things, there was a part of the ship were no kids were allowed. There was Jacuzzis and chaise lounges and it was the quite spot. Apart from the rooms. The food in the formal dinning area was better and it was nice to have some one else bring you, your food. The formal night had some real scary fashion choices. It was fun to watch. The musical review was also fun to watch, maybe not in the way it was intended.

Would I go again? I'm not sure, I realy got tired of the buffets quickly and the decor was gawdy, like a brothel. Not like the love boat at all.

Giving

A lot of people wait for holidays and birthdays to give gifts. In my life I have tired to find other times to give gifts.

I really hate the thought of forced giving. It is so much more fun to surprise people with a gift for no reason. I have given my dance teachers gifts, and it is so much fun. Tonight I will see a friend and give them a gift as well. Why not?

If we look for opportunity's to give we get so much more in return. The look on their faces and thanks. Its so much better than at expected times.

Having said that, since its been such a difficult year, its harder to find the money to give gifts. Should people really expect much this year? No, they shouldn't. The thing is the precedent is that they will get something. So forced giving makes people greedy and they won't settle for less.

Be grateful for whatever you get, no matter how little or how much! Be grateful for other things as well, not just the price tag on the item.

Pretty Girl

She looks at herself in the mirror, she looks nice today. The tight red dress and he long hair looks great, she is ready to go. She stands out side to wait for him and turns in her foot and raises her hand to her mouth. She stands looking like a little doll.Everyone says to her "Shawna your such a pretty girl" She knows this and lets people be jealous by her posts on line. She has her boyfriend Jerry all to herself.

"Hey babe, get in." he says. His brown hair short and close to his head. He has a toothy grin and looks great in the convert able. She smiles as she climbs in. Feeling confident that he loves her. She looks at the window as they drive all seems right in their world.

They go to a friends house for dinner. As he walks with her through the door he scans the room. Seeing Sherry across the room his heart stops and he has to get to her for a quick second.
"Babe could you get me a drink?" He asks with a nice smile.

"Sure, no problem." She smiles back and goes to the frig.

Jerry makes his way to Sherry. "Hey how are you?" He leans in close to her ear. "Please don't tell Shawna about Britney Okay? Please don't" He asked.

"Fine I won't say anything, but you really need to stop all this running around. One day these girls are going to wake up to the fact that you are a big whore. You better get back to her." She rolled her eyes at him. She pities the other girl, sure she was young and pretty, just dumb. It's not that she really wanted to keep his secret, there was just no way she was going to spend time talking to that little idiot anyway. Its not that she isn't cute herself, but being older she has learned that men can be awful. She also knows not to try to tell Shawna better to let her learn on her own.

Shawna sees Sherry from a distance and has no idea what that look means. She turns away. 'She must be sad she doesn't look this good anymore.' She tells herself. Not all of us can be this pretty.

Catching Up

At the shop where I work we have been working on one project for so long and now it's time to catch up on everything else.

It seems to have spilled over into my home life as well. I feel as if I can think about other things and I need to catch up on some cleaning.

I would have been able to do that this week, but I ended up having an emergency with one of my dogs and she had to get surgery. Poor thing, she will be fine and the procedure was a success. Sure we can't plan for everything, and we shouldn't try.

When the home and office are clean and everyone is healthy and happy, I feel so good. I have been feeling that way lately. Sure there have been a few sick days, but on the whole we are all okay.

The things I can feel good about are: my dogs are all okay and Middy will be soon. I still have a roof over my head and work. There is food in the frig and the chickens are fine and laying eggs. There is work at the shop and money to be made. I am getting rid of clutter by selling things on ebay,and helping my family at the same time. I will be able to get out of town for a few days this month. We stocked up on wine at a recent sale and even though we have to stay home we can have a nice wine with dinner. In the mail I got the last article I wrote for a magazine.

Do we every really got caught up? I don't know, it seems like there is always something. If I can at least clean up more than when things are stressful its one less thing to worry about and that helps.