The other day we found out that a friend of a friend died in the Middle East during his tour of duty. It was still a shock, no matter that he was in a war zone. The widow was angry and took it out on a friend saying it was their fault. No one held a gun to his head and told him to take the oath to defend the country against all enemies’ foreign or domestic. He took that of his own free will, but she was just upset and felt the need to blame someone. Part of the process, later she will get to acceptance.
The same day I was taking time to start up a new friendship. We took some time and met for coffee and talked of life. She is ready to start a new part in her life and we talked of that and so many other things.
That’s the thing; death is hard on the living. We have to deal with the pain and we have to go through the feelings of loss and denial, anger the whole gambit. We have to attended the funerals and cry with the families and bring by jell-o molds. Always the jell-o molds show up.
One of the stress reliefs in my life is my dogs. I can cuddle up with them and they help. Just petting them helps me feel better. Looking into their eyes and it helps. They don’t know why we are sad, but they just cuddle up and help us feel better. The best thing we did when our older dog Angus died, was to get a new puppy. Middy, she had no idea what had happened and she helped to cheer us all up. Even the other dog, Gwennie was entertained by her; I think it is the best way to heal from another dog dying. Sure the one that died is mourned and there will be another one just like it, but the new one will help us to remember, life goes on and there is still plenty to be happy and grateful for.
There is nothing like a good friend or a new friend to talk to. We can’t make it on our own all the time. We need friends and loved ones to help us get through it. Even if we can’t find the right words to say, just being there and holding our friend’s hand, or hugging them can be the best thing we can do for them. The rest will just take time; it’s all part of life and death. OXOX
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Relief
There are stressful situations that we all have to go through. Sometimes it’s all at once, and we don’t know what to do. Of course we talk about to our friends and try to figure out what to do next. Really the only thing to do is take care of one thing at a time.
Recently I had something come up and the only thing to do were to wait for the day I was supposed to deal with it to come. It was an appointment, and just deal with it then. Sure I had nightmares about it. It is never as bad as I image.
On that day I was prepared and it was fine. My fears were based on my own imagination and nothing more. I was so relieved to get that over with that I had to take a nap after wards.
There are other things that have been a relief lately and some justice is going to be measured out. The hard part in all of this is to be patient and see what happens.
I had a performance this last weekend and it came out pretty good. The crowd was quite and I was trying to move around more to get them interested. It made the sword I was balancing on my head almost fall off. It turned I wasn’t supposed to use a weapon (even a dull one) at this venue. Not a problem, I can use my sword another time at another place.
It was a relief to get that done as well. Not that I hadn’t practiced enough, I had made myself tired getting ready for this dance. I was as prepared as I could be. It was just the first time I had performed with a prop like this and I had been looking forward to seeing if I could handle it.
It’s not just stressful things, that when they pass is a relief. Even fun things like dancing can make us apprehensive. I do like to challenge myself and try new things in my dancing routines. It is great that my friends were there to support, that brings a bit of stress too, since I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of them.
There are few things we can to, to prevent bad things. We can’t anticipate all the challenges that will come our way. The best we can do is take a deep breath when they come around…. All ten of them at once, then take one at a time and deal with them. After wards, sure pour yourself a good tall drink. I know we need that from time to time, as well.:-)
Recently I had something come up and the only thing to do were to wait for the day I was supposed to deal with it to come. It was an appointment, and just deal with it then. Sure I had nightmares about it. It is never as bad as I image.
On that day I was prepared and it was fine. My fears were based on my own imagination and nothing more. I was so relieved to get that over with that I had to take a nap after wards.
There are other things that have been a relief lately and some justice is going to be measured out. The hard part in all of this is to be patient and see what happens.
I had a performance this last weekend and it came out pretty good. The crowd was quite and I was trying to move around more to get them interested. It made the sword I was balancing on my head almost fall off. It turned I wasn’t supposed to use a weapon (even a dull one) at this venue. Not a problem, I can use my sword another time at another place.
It was a relief to get that done as well. Not that I hadn’t practiced enough, I had made myself tired getting ready for this dance. I was as prepared as I could be. It was just the first time I had performed with a prop like this and I had been looking forward to seeing if I could handle it.
It’s not just stressful things, that when they pass is a relief. Even fun things like dancing can make us apprehensive. I do like to challenge myself and try new things in my dancing routines. It is great that my friends were there to support, that brings a bit of stress too, since I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of them.
There are few things we can to, to prevent bad things. We can’t anticipate all the challenges that will come our way. The best we can do is take a deep breath when they come around…. All ten of them at once, then take one at a time and deal with them. After wards, sure pour yourself a good tall drink. I know we need that from time to time, as well.:-)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Land of Man
In my work as an office manager at a scooter shop I feel I have entered an alternative universe comprised solely of men. The last few years has been such and still is an education of this place.
In Southern California in the industrial complexes are filled with smart men who are craftsmen and innovators. They make tools and parts and make things faster. They chrome and straighten forks. It may seem dull or silly that I am remarking about this.
It is just such a different from the world I had been from. In the past the offices and most of my co-workers were women. The first job I had was behind a makeup counter at a department store. Most women don’t want to know how things work. We want to pretend that cars are like driving houses and we don’t want to know that things can come apart and all little nuts and bolts and pistons, cylinders that make up an engine.
It is almost as if I have been forced to take a good hard look at the owner’s manual and the exploded view of the parts. I have learned about intake manifolds and performance pipes. Big bore pipes, carbs and gasket kits. At the Vegas rally I listened to a man give me the information of some pipes that can be re-packed. To my horror I knew what he was talking about.
The men I have met have been interesting. They can tune and bore with precision, but none of them can clean or keep paper work organized. By and large they are all Caucasian, not that other ethnic groups are exulted from this world, they just don’t seem to be interested. There are all kinds of schools that can teach anyone how to pull apart a motorcycle engine.
In the last few years, since entering the land of man, it doesn’t make me hate them. I have found a greater understanding of them. The thing about women that only have other women for friends, they never really get men. Women always make things more complicated than it needs to be. Men are really so simple, like a baked potatoes, what you see is what you get. They don’t really change either; woman may spin out of control, in the way the view an argument. To the men it is usually pretty cut and dry. They don’t work hard enough to be complicated. And once something is discussed they don’t obsess about it later, they let it go. They have too much to worry about making money and taking care of things to worry about needy women.
This is just a few of the things I have learned in the land of man. The really good stuff I am saving for a novel.
In Southern California in the industrial complexes are filled with smart men who are craftsmen and innovators. They make tools and parts and make things faster. They chrome and straighten forks. It may seem dull or silly that I am remarking about this.
It is just such a different from the world I had been from. In the past the offices and most of my co-workers were women. The first job I had was behind a makeup counter at a department store. Most women don’t want to know how things work. We want to pretend that cars are like driving houses and we don’t want to know that things can come apart and all little nuts and bolts and pistons, cylinders that make up an engine.
It is almost as if I have been forced to take a good hard look at the owner’s manual and the exploded view of the parts. I have learned about intake manifolds and performance pipes. Big bore pipes, carbs and gasket kits. At the Vegas rally I listened to a man give me the information of some pipes that can be re-packed. To my horror I knew what he was talking about.
The men I have met have been interesting. They can tune and bore with precision, but none of them can clean or keep paper work organized. By and large they are all Caucasian, not that other ethnic groups are exulted from this world, they just don’t seem to be interested. There are all kinds of schools that can teach anyone how to pull apart a motorcycle engine.
In the last few years, since entering the land of man, it doesn’t make me hate them. I have found a greater understanding of them. The thing about women that only have other women for friends, they never really get men. Women always make things more complicated than it needs to be. Men are really so simple, like a baked potatoes, what you see is what you get. They don’t really change either; woman may spin out of control, in the way the view an argument. To the men it is usually pretty cut and dry. They don’t work hard enough to be complicated. And once something is discussed they don’t obsess about it later, they let it go. They have too much to worry about making money and taking care of things to worry about needy women.
This is just a few of the things I have learned in the land of man. The really good stuff I am saving for a novel.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Kindness
We all have times when we want to get back at people when we want revenge. Okay maybe not that bad, it just may mean we are upset at the moment.
The best thing to do? It is often hard to say. Sure it may feel good to get the 'upper hand', as it were. Most of the times it has the opposite effect.
Is there anything wrong with 'killing with kindness'? Yes it's better if we take the high road and do things people don't expect. As long as its a kind thing, can they really get mad?
In my experience they don't usually get mad when you do something nice. If there is something good and kind that we can do, then what is stopping us? Let's try to find kind words and good deeds to get us through the rough times.
If I can be remembered as a nice person that cooked well and was a good friend, is there anything better?
The best thing to do? It is often hard to say. Sure it may feel good to get the 'upper hand', as it were. Most of the times it has the opposite effect.
Is there anything wrong with 'killing with kindness'? Yes it's better if we take the high road and do things people don't expect. As long as its a kind thing, can they really get mad?
In my experience they don't usually get mad when you do something nice. If there is something good and kind that we can do, then what is stopping us? Let's try to find kind words and good deeds to get us through the rough times.
If I can be remembered as a nice person that cooked well and was a good friend, is there anything better?
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Teachers
When I was a little girl I thought teachers were just great people who knew everything. This was before I know anything about ‘teacher’s edition’ books.
Over the years I have had many teachers. Lately they have all been exercise teachers and dance instructors. Which is fine, I usually make friends with them and it has been great. They have come to see my recitals and other dances. It has helped me to find the courage to get out there and dance.
Others are teachers without having a class. I learned a lot from one of my old managers. She wasn’t old; it’s just that she was at a job I used to have. She taught by example and she was always kind and generous in her time and knowledge. I have learned a lot from the men I work with now.
Last week there was a customer that was just so unreasonable and looking for a fight. It wasn’t given to him. We have to rise above it. It can be challenging when they are so unreasonable.
I try to learn from other women as well. Different cultures can teach us different ways of doing things. I have learned things from my friends in Europe; they are much more gracious than American’s. The fashion magazines try to teach us how to dress but sometimes they would have us looking silly. I don’t want to be a fashion victim; that’s for sure.
I don’t think I would be a good teacher, and for that reason I am glad I don’t have kids. It’s not that I haven’t learned things to pass on. It’s just that I have gotten stubborn the older I get, I don’t know if I would want the students to learn their way, or my way. It may be that I would want them to be like me and not themselves. I can be that way sometimes. It’s not intentional, just a side effect of my own ego.
From my English teachers I learned a love for words. From my geography teachers I learned the mountain ranges of the world and that put a desire in me to see them, to travel and see these places with my own eyes. From my dance teachers I learned a love for this art form and a desire to execute it correctly. To all my teachers….Thank you for making me better!
Over the years I have had many teachers. Lately they have all been exercise teachers and dance instructors. Which is fine, I usually make friends with them and it has been great. They have come to see my recitals and other dances. It has helped me to find the courage to get out there and dance.
Others are teachers without having a class. I learned a lot from one of my old managers. She wasn’t old; it’s just that she was at a job I used to have. She taught by example and she was always kind and generous in her time and knowledge. I have learned a lot from the men I work with now.
Last week there was a customer that was just so unreasonable and looking for a fight. It wasn’t given to him. We have to rise above it. It can be challenging when they are so unreasonable.
I try to learn from other women as well. Different cultures can teach us different ways of doing things. I have learned things from my friends in Europe; they are much more gracious than American’s. The fashion magazines try to teach us how to dress but sometimes they would have us looking silly. I don’t want to be a fashion victim; that’s for sure.
I don’t think I would be a good teacher, and for that reason I am glad I don’t have kids. It’s not that I haven’t learned things to pass on. It’s just that I have gotten stubborn the older I get, I don’t know if I would want the students to learn their way, or my way. It may be that I would want them to be like me and not themselves. I can be that way sometimes. It’s not intentional, just a side effect of my own ego.
From my English teachers I learned a love for words. From my geography teachers I learned the mountain ranges of the world and that put a desire in me to see them, to travel and see these places with my own eyes. From my dance teachers I learned a love for this art form and a desire to execute it correctly. To all my teachers….Thank you for making me better!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
D.V.
Diana Vreeland used to have a column called “Why don’t you?” It is in that spirit that I offer up the following:
Stay in to save money, but pick up chocolate soufflé at Trader Joe’s. Made for two they are cheap and fool proof. Saving money need not be boring. :-)
Start your spring cleaning. Just work on one room per week. It’s time to get our summer clothes, give them washing or use some linen spray. I get mine at TJMAXX.
Send a cute or loving or sexy text message today? If you feel it say it.
Pick a new recipe out of your cookbook and try it? If you don’t have one, look at Martha Stewart.com. Always an inspiration in the kitchen!
Check and see if any of the plays or musicals you want to attend, are offering discounts during the week. Cheap seats, but you get out of the house and get some entertainment.
Grab a few extra bottles of wine during your weekly shopping. Traders and BevMo have many inexpensive brands to choose from, your pocket book will hardly notice and when someone drops by, you will have some on hand.
Cook more than one meal at a time. I cook for the week on Monday afternoons. The rest of the week I just open the frig and nuke what I have. It’s great when you are tired and don’t want to cook.
Take an afternoon and turn in your bottles and cans. Take the money and treat yourself to something nice. Make sure your treat doesn’t include calories. Mani-pedi? Or some nice stationary? Too bad wine bottles don’t have deposits on them. I would have new shoes.
The next time you go to the mall and get yourself something get something for someone else. Don’t know what they will want? Hit up the makeup and cologne counters for samples. Put them in a goodie bag and give them to a new mom or male friend that doesn’t go to the mall that often.
Holidays over? Bake some muffins or cup cakes and give them out to friends. No one can say “No,” to a cupcake. Not that big and just right to cure a sweet tooth.
Stay in to save money, but pick up chocolate soufflé at Trader Joe’s. Made for two they are cheap and fool proof. Saving money need not be boring. :-)
Start your spring cleaning. Just work on one room per week. It’s time to get our summer clothes, give them washing or use some linen spray. I get mine at TJMAXX.
Send a cute or loving or sexy text message today? If you feel it say it.
Pick a new recipe out of your cookbook and try it? If you don’t have one, look at Martha Stewart.com. Always an inspiration in the kitchen!
Check and see if any of the plays or musicals you want to attend, are offering discounts during the week. Cheap seats, but you get out of the house and get some entertainment.
Grab a few extra bottles of wine during your weekly shopping. Traders and BevMo have many inexpensive brands to choose from, your pocket book will hardly notice and when someone drops by, you will have some on hand.
Cook more than one meal at a time. I cook for the week on Monday afternoons. The rest of the week I just open the frig and nuke what I have. It’s great when you are tired and don’t want to cook.
Take an afternoon and turn in your bottles and cans. Take the money and treat yourself to something nice. Make sure your treat doesn’t include calories. Mani-pedi? Or some nice stationary? Too bad wine bottles don’t have deposits on them. I would have new shoes.
The next time you go to the mall and get yourself something get something for someone else. Don’t know what they will want? Hit up the makeup and cologne counters for samples. Put them in a goodie bag and give them to a new mom or male friend that doesn’t go to the mall that often.
Holidays over? Bake some muffins or cup cakes and give them out to friends. No one can say “No,” to a cupcake. Not that big and just right to cure a sweet tooth.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Big day out
Saturday we had a great time and took advantage of living in So Cal. First we put out chickens into their new coop. They were happy and have a nice perch to use and a hutch to sleep in as well.
I cooked up a nice brunch; eggs cheese blintzes and banana, along with champagne. Then it was off to Disneyland. We had not been there in a few years; it was time to go again. The Pirates were down, which was a bummer. One of my favorites, not to worry tea cups were still running. This ride always makes me giggle.
There is some good shopping to be had, and not just the hats. We stopped by the estate jewelry store in New Orleans Square. I tried on a 1920’s flapper ring. Diamonds set in platinum with emeralds. It was a bit over priced, but so gorgeous! I was able to get some Tara Tarintino handbags. One evening bag and one big structured number, both were in leopard print and soft.
After that I was tired, but no rest for the weary. It was time to go home change and then go up to Hollywood for an art opening/ book signing. Betty Page, Heaven bound was the theme. I have met Olivia before at comic con and had her sign things for me. This was no exception and she was as accommodating as ever.
The crowd was what I expected; I knew I had gotten to the right spot when I saw a line of girls dressed to the nines outside. It took a while, but when we got inside there was Superman and Dracula. Some of the ‘girls’ were tall and wore huge heels, which made them tower above the rest.
While in line to get drinks a woman came up and started talking to me out of the blue. It wasn’t a wonder since I was almost to the front and she just took cuts. Her opening line, “Would you like a sip of rum while you wait?” showing me her flask. Okay, rule one from Kindergarten, Don’t take things from strangers! I politely declined her offer. We did chat about silly things and remarked about how crowed it was.
This is one of the few days I have been able to indulge my inner child and then go off and do more mature things in the evening. I guess that is what made it so special, that and sharing it with someone else. I am glad I didn’t miss out on either event. The Olivia event was defiantly the E-ticket!
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