It is always easier to get ourselves distracted by other things and do the hard work we really need to. If we have lots of friends on line than we might feel the need to email them and keep talking to them instead of doing other things.
When I was in school I used to do the easy homework before the more difficult. I rationalized that I was still working and getting things done. It wasn’t totally untrue but I would get too tired to do the other homework. Then being tired I would put off doing the other projects I need to do.
I know we have all been there. In the last few weeks I have again been working on my manuscript. Sometimes getting to it is the most difficult. I don’t really know why. Once I get started it goes along pretty smoothly and it doesn’t take me long to make the needed corrections. So what is stopping me from digging right in?
Rejections really. Having sent in my first chapter out I have received rejection letters and it stinks. No matter how much you have to deal with that in publishing. It still hurts and it doesn’t get easier. The fact of the matter is that you have to go through this in order to get to a place where you are an author. Yes, it’s called ‘paying your dues’. In the past I had only thought of actors and singers having to do this. Now I know better.
The only thing that keeps me going is my goal of getting my book published. I would have stopped a long time ago if I had wanted to make a lot of money and right away. I have wanted to be a writer since I was about 11 years old. It took me a while to even get this far.
I have to keep telling myself it will happen, has to happen. This is my life’s work the big dream of a life time and not a passing fancy. Sure there have been bumps along the road and there will be more. It’s worth it to have something you have spent so much time on come to life as it were. No more procrastination for me.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Reading
As a child I was not the fastest reader. I still am a bit slower than others, but I really do enjoy it. My first grade teacher used to have a footed bathtub in the corner of the classroom. If we were good we could go into the tube and read. I loved that and I would be extra good just to go relax and read in there.
I think that had a lot to do with my view of reading. That it was relaxing and a treat, one of life’s pleasures. I also think that is why I have always read slowly, since I like to savor it and it’s not something I want to rush.
There are other things I love to savor, like time spent with friends. Maybe it’s OD-ing on too many design magazines over the years but I do like to see my friends enjoy meals I cook and put out tea lights and create a nice atmosphere. Where these ideas all go astray is in the fact that I have so many books and magazines and newspapers around the house.
In fact you can tell where I sit and have been in the house by the stacks of New Yorkers and books on my side of the room.
While I am no, ‘Neat Freak’, by any stretch of the imagination, it does get to me every once in a while. Then I have to thin out the piles of magazines and the ten or so books I am reading at any one time. Even the trips to IKEA and purchasing of bins to put them all in doesn’t really help. Okay, so I need some more book shelves that’s for sure. This is an improvement over how I used to be. I used to save my old fashion magazines with a religious fervor. It was getting scary. It wasn’t the books themselves but the hope that one day I might be able to afford some of these things and go to these places.
I can say that after meeting some of my personal goals I didn’t have to cling on to the security blanket of Vogue’s like I had once done. It is much better to realize your dreams than to keep dreaming. Now I have no problem throwing out old magazines when I am done with them, they no longer are such a big deal. As for my books, I guess when I am gone I will donate them to a local library or something. I have a nice collection of signed first editions I am not letting go of anytime soon.
Why all this mess? For the simple fact that I love reading and the written word. A well constructed sentence and great photos. The feel of heavy card stock paper, or linen paper with jagged edges. The fresh ink on paper, or the glossy paper in fashion magazines with a black and white photo on it. Here’s to my favorite addiction reading… and as far as being a totally goner with no hope of recovery. Guilty as charged!
I think that had a lot to do with my view of reading. That it was relaxing and a treat, one of life’s pleasures. I also think that is why I have always read slowly, since I like to savor it and it’s not something I want to rush.
There are other things I love to savor, like time spent with friends. Maybe it’s OD-ing on too many design magazines over the years but I do like to see my friends enjoy meals I cook and put out tea lights and create a nice atmosphere. Where these ideas all go astray is in the fact that I have so many books and magazines and newspapers around the house.
In fact you can tell where I sit and have been in the house by the stacks of New Yorkers and books on my side of the room.
While I am no, ‘Neat Freak’, by any stretch of the imagination, it does get to me every once in a while. Then I have to thin out the piles of magazines and the ten or so books I am reading at any one time. Even the trips to IKEA and purchasing of bins to put them all in doesn’t really help. Okay, so I need some more book shelves that’s for sure. This is an improvement over how I used to be. I used to save my old fashion magazines with a religious fervor. It was getting scary. It wasn’t the books themselves but the hope that one day I might be able to afford some of these things and go to these places.
I can say that after meeting some of my personal goals I didn’t have to cling on to the security blanket of Vogue’s like I had once done. It is much better to realize your dreams than to keep dreaming. Now I have no problem throwing out old magazines when I am done with them, they no longer are such a big deal. As for my books, I guess when I am gone I will donate them to a local library or something. I have a nice collection of signed first editions I am not letting go of anytime soon.
Why all this mess? For the simple fact that I love reading and the written word. A well constructed sentence and great photos. The feel of heavy card stock paper, or linen paper with jagged edges. The fresh ink on paper, or the glossy paper in fashion magazines with a black and white photo on it. Here’s to my favorite addiction reading… and as far as being a totally goner with no hope of recovery. Guilty as charged!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Baggage Check
In the travels we take in life there are things we need. Money, tickets, passport and of course our luggage. In our personal growth the challenge seems to be how to get rid of the baggage. If it is from the last boyfriend, or family business or a divorce, whatever the case the baggage is there.
I have had my divorced girl friend go on and on about her EX, she was going on a first date with someone new. She called me before the date and was going on about her Ex and the new guy and his EX and what should she ask him. She had turned this invite in to such a panic and I told her not to bring up any of that and just relax and be glad you don’t have to eat alone that night. Much to the distress of her date she didn’t listen, and of course he left and there was no second date. I have heard the same kinds of things from my male friends and it is a turn off no matter what your sex. Funny thing about that, I am talking about the two that went on this date.
Clearly she was bringing her baggage with her to drinks and dinner. I guess we can’t really get rid of it, but maybe we could change out the big suitcase with the wheels for a coin- purse?
In working on my book I have been trying to do just that. In the last week after going to the conference I feel I have made a breakthrough. It came to me in a dream and after thinking about it and talking about it, it makes so much sense. It’s true I do tend to go off about some of this stuff, and my friends are so great for listening to me.
If it weren’t for my good friends I would not make it, none of us would. We need to share with someone else. There is a great befit to asking the, “I know this sounds crazy but just
Hear me out for a minute” questions. We can convince ourselves of anything and make it sound fine in our heads. Out loud can be something else entirely.
Once I have a chance to make heads or tails out of what is going on, I feel so much better. Today I have the strength to do things for others and I have been smiling and singing in the car. It is like taking off a heavy shoulder bag or backpack. I don’t think that I have reduced it to a coin-purse just yet. It does seem to be getting a bit lighter these days.
I have had my divorced girl friend go on and on about her EX, she was going on a first date with someone new. She called me before the date and was going on about her Ex and the new guy and his EX and what should she ask him. She had turned this invite in to such a panic and I told her not to bring up any of that and just relax and be glad you don’t have to eat alone that night. Much to the distress of her date she didn’t listen, and of course he left and there was no second date. I have heard the same kinds of things from my male friends and it is a turn off no matter what your sex. Funny thing about that, I am talking about the two that went on this date.
Clearly she was bringing her baggage with her to drinks and dinner. I guess we can’t really get rid of it, but maybe we could change out the big suitcase with the wheels for a coin- purse?
In working on my book I have been trying to do just that. In the last week after going to the conference I feel I have made a breakthrough. It came to me in a dream and after thinking about it and talking about it, it makes so much sense. It’s true I do tend to go off about some of this stuff, and my friends are so great for listening to me.
If it weren’t for my good friends I would not make it, none of us would. We need to share with someone else. There is a great befit to asking the, “I know this sounds crazy but just
Hear me out for a minute” questions. We can convince ourselves of anything and make it sound fine in our heads. Out loud can be something else entirely.
Once I have a chance to make heads or tails out of what is going on, I feel so much better. Today I have the strength to do things for others and I have been smiling and singing in the car. It is like taking off a heavy shoulder bag or backpack. I don’t think that I have reduced it to a coin-purse just yet. It does seem to be getting a bit lighter these days.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Conference
That’s right I have been working on editing my book project and I was able to finished yesterday afternoon, before I had lunch! As a reward I went out and met some friends in the evening.
To further the celebration and make some new contacts I will be attending a Writers Conference this weekend in Irvine. I didn’t know if I would be able to do this and at the last minute it worked out. Isn’t that just the way though?
I have been working on this project for years. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up and start something else. I have started a screenplay and I have started writing another book. Things I will continue to work on when I submit my first chapter to a literary agent.
The first time I went to one of these conferences my project was really a first draft. Of course I didn’t think it was. Since then I have revised and edited. The first time attened I also went with a fellow writer friend. She has since stopped being my friend and I miss her a lot. She just dropped off the face of the earth one day and never returned my calls or letters or emails. I really loved her and enjoyed talking to her about writing. I know she had a lot of problems and I don’t know if I offended her or it was just that I got an editor.
Whatever the reasons I still credit her with getting me to finish my book and get out there to pitch it in the first place. Since then I have attended a few of these, I always learn something and it is great to be with fellow writers. Of course now I have the IWOSC group that I know and met with when I can and I have been attending Media Bistro events. All of which helps since writing is such a solitary life.
This weekend I will enjoy the company of others who share a passion for the written word. It’s true we writers are a strange lot. Most of the time we feel out of place. That’s because most of the time we are Zebra’s in a room full of horses. Once you get all the Zebra’s together then we blend in. Time to go check in with the rest of the heard!
To further the celebration and make some new contacts I will be attending a Writers Conference this weekend in Irvine. I didn’t know if I would be able to do this and at the last minute it worked out. Isn’t that just the way though?
I have been working on this project for years. Sometimes I feel like I should just give up and start something else. I have started a screenplay and I have started writing another book. Things I will continue to work on when I submit my first chapter to a literary agent.
The first time I went to one of these conferences my project was really a first draft. Of course I didn’t think it was. Since then I have revised and edited. The first time attened I also went with a fellow writer friend. She has since stopped being my friend and I miss her a lot. She just dropped off the face of the earth one day and never returned my calls or letters or emails. I really loved her and enjoyed talking to her about writing. I know she had a lot of problems and I don’t know if I offended her or it was just that I got an editor.
Whatever the reasons I still credit her with getting me to finish my book and get out there to pitch it in the first place. Since then I have attended a few of these, I always learn something and it is great to be with fellow writers. Of course now I have the IWOSC group that I know and met with when I can and I have been attending Media Bistro events. All of which helps since writing is such a solitary life.
This weekend I will enjoy the company of others who share a passion for the written word. It’s true we writers are a strange lot. Most of the time we feel out of place. That’s because most of the time we are Zebra’s in a room full of horses. Once you get all the Zebra’s together then we blend in. Time to go check in with the rest of the heard!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wardrobe Malfunction
In the last few years we have heard this term and applied to Janet Jackson’s Super bowl performance. I can say that I have thought the term was utter rubbish. Plus her costume had been designed to be revealing.
That all changed this last weekend when I had my own wardrobe malfunction at my dance recital. It was a small venue filled with friends and family. The group looked a little bored so I thought I would step it up a notch. The thing is at home I had not danced full-out, I had no idea that my top was not up to the challenge.
The back clasp broke and I had to hold on to my very heavily beaded bra top and walk off the stage area. My teacher/friend tried to pin me up and I tried to finish the dance, but nothing doing. I had to walk off again and go back to the dressing room. I didn’t cry which some of the women half expected me to. At my age I can gracefully leave and not show anything to the crowd and not cry. Thank you very much!
In the kitchen/dressing room I changed into a tank top and the girls pinned my vale around me like a Sari and I was able to dance again with the others in the finale. It was not a total loss. All the girls were very supportive and encouraging. That was so great of them and what I needed at the time. My friends in the audience told me how smooth my skin is, later in the night when we were having drinks. I didn’t think I was even out there dancing long enough for them to notice.
Lessons learned: I will get my bra top fixed by a seamstress and have it re-enforced. The worst happened and I didn’t die, cry or fall apart. I might think about wearing pasties for other performances. Once you have had your top fail you… nothing is going to get you down. I have been working on my book, and what could go wrong? There is nothing in my project that can’t be fixed or changed and it’s not like the end of the world. It’s not like my top is coming off or anything. Ha Ha. Take that Janet!
That all changed this last weekend when I had my own wardrobe malfunction at my dance recital. It was a small venue filled with friends and family. The group looked a little bored so I thought I would step it up a notch. The thing is at home I had not danced full-out, I had no idea that my top was not up to the challenge.
The back clasp broke and I had to hold on to my very heavily beaded bra top and walk off the stage area. My teacher/friend tried to pin me up and I tried to finish the dance, but nothing doing. I had to walk off again and go back to the dressing room. I didn’t cry which some of the women half expected me to. At my age I can gracefully leave and not show anything to the crowd and not cry. Thank you very much!
In the kitchen/dressing room I changed into a tank top and the girls pinned my vale around me like a Sari and I was able to dance again with the others in the finale. It was not a total loss. All the girls were very supportive and encouraging. That was so great of them and what I needed at the time. My friends in the audience told me how smooth my skin is, later in the night when we were having drinks. I didn’t think I was even out there dancing long enough for them to notice.
Lessons learned: I will get my bra top fixed by a seamstress and have it re-enforced. The worst happened and I didn’t die, cry or fall apart. I might think about wearing pasties for other performances. Once you have had your top fail you… nothing is going to get you down. I have been working on my book, and what could go wrong? There is nothing in my project that can’t be fixed or changed and it’s not like the end of the world. It’s not like my top is coming off or anything. Ha Ha. Take that Janet!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Next Phase
I have been working on my dancing and I have been re-editing my novel. The next phase is to get the editing done and send out my first chapter to agents. For my dancing it will this weekend’s performance and starting a dance troupe with my teacher.
I have taken time away from my book to get some distance and some fresh eyes to look at it again. The last rejection letter I got gave me some clues as to where to go with this manuscript. I can see what they meant and I have been going through and re-reading the book from begging to end to see what can be cut.
Not that I have to tell everything in one go, I still need to leave something for the next book and the next project. In the mean time I have been working on this blog and other writing projects. This has all been good for me, in the last few years I have really grown as a writer. It still is life or death to me, in that I want it so badly.
Having other articles appearing in Scoot! Magazine has helped, so I don’t feel like a no one will ever want to hear what I have to say. For a while I was waiting positive encouragement that never came. To get here I just had to keep working and reading about other writers and reading books about becoming a writer.
The first time I went to a writer’s conference I was over confident and I still had a lot of work to do. After reading about working writers and how long it takes them to finish a book and how many times they edit their work and I got the idea in my head that it was going to take longer than I thought. The last few years have not been easy, by any means.
This time I am working on my book it is not at all emotional, as it was before. I can look at it as any other project. What will make it better and keep the pace up? If it is getting boring, cut it.
In my dancing I have to be bolder and not worry about what I look like so much and enjoy myself. If I don’t keep up the passion for my writing or my dancing both will suffer and end up half-baked. That won’t do, at all. On to the next phase, success.
I have taken time away from my book to get some distance and some fresh eyes to look at it again. The last rejection letter I got gave me some clues as to where to go with this manuscript. I can see what they meant and I have been going through and re-reading the book from begging to end to see what can be cut.
Not that I have to tell everything in one go, I still need to leave something for the next book and the next project. In the mean time I have been working on this blog and other writing projects. This has all been good for me, in the last few years I have really grown as a writer. It still is life or death to me, in that I want it so badly.
Having other articles appearing in Scoot! Magazine has helped, so I don’t feel like a no one will ever want to hear what I have to say. For a while I was waiting positive encouragement that never came. To get here I just had to keep working and reading about other writers and reading books about becoming a writer.
The first time I went to a writer’s conference I was over confident and I still had a lot of work to do. After reading about working writers and how long it takes them to finish a book and how many times they edit their work and I got the idea in my head that it was going to take longer than I thought. The last few years have not been easy, by any means.
This time I am working on my book it is not at all emotional, as it was before. I can look at it as any other project. What will make it better and keep the pace up? If it is getting boring, cut it.
In my dancing I have to be bolder and not worry about what I look like so much and enjoy myself. If I don’t keep up the passion for my writing or my dancing both will suffer and end up half-baked. That won’t do, at all. On to the next phase, success.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Re-boot
The last few days I have been going over and over my dance routine for my upcoming performance. The perfectionists in me had me deconstructing other dance routines and editing from what other do well to what I do well.
At the current time I am not that small and I am not going to do belly rolls outside of class. Nor am I daring enough to do full body waves. As it is the sight of myself in a Cabaret Belly Dance outfit made me want to run for the hills.
All my life I have been more modest. Sure there are the occasional over the top sexy outfits. These last few years I have worn more fitted clothing and tops, a few some dresses. It has been in an effort to remind myself to stand up straight, and keep my goal of losing weight in focus. Frankly I have never thought I had a body worth showing off.
What has helped my keep sane is the fact that I have been so disciplined in my work out routine and I have very seldom so much as missed a week of exercise and even then I was ill and not on vacation. Last years’ vacation we were sitting in the truck for so long when we got to in to Reno for a few days I hit the pool and did a few laps. With that in mind, the few sexy outfits have been ones that show off my good points and hid the rest. There is not much fabric to hide behind in a belly dance costume.
This year I have only been on weekend trips here and there and yes I took my dancing DVD’s with me so I could work out. Laptops that play DVD’s are helpful.
With all this in my head, I have taken a very ridged plan of attack on my upcoming performance. I dance to an hour every morning before going to work. I have my outfit so I can practice and not wait till the last second to put on the whole thing. I have been over thinking it a bit. Yes, I do tend to get obsessive. After showing my teacher my outfit and the dance I have been working on, I realized something. While preparation is great, I needed to relax and just remember that my audience will not know if I mess up, I can improvise some of this and I don’t need every step counted out. I listened to her advice and the parts that were giving me problems smoothed out and I feel so much better about the routine. That’s what I needed to do take a deep breath and re-boot.
At the current time I am not that small and I am not going to do belly rolls outside of class. Nor am I daring enough to do full body waves. As it is the sight of myself in a Cabaret Belly Dance outfit made me want to run for the hills.
All my life I have been more modest. Sure there are the occasional over the top sexy outfits. These last few years I have worn more fitted clothing and tops, a few some dresses. It has been in an effort to remind myself to stand up straight, and keep my goal of losing weight in focus. Frankly I have never thought I had a body worth showing off.
What has helped my keep sane is the fact that I have been so disciplined in my work out routine and I have very seldom so much as missed a week of exercise and even then I was ill and not on vacation. Last years’ vacation we were sitting in the truck for so long when we got to in to Reno for a few days I hit the pool and did a few laps. With that in mind, the few sexy outfits have been ones that show off my good points and hid the rest. There is not much fabric to hide behind in a belly dance costume.
This year I have only been on weekend trips here and there and yes I took my dancing DVD’s with me so I could work out. Laptops that play DVD’s are helpful.
With all this in my head, I have taken a very ridged plan of attack on my upcoming performance. I dance to an hour every morning before going to work. I have my outfit so I can practice and not wait till the last second to put on the whole thing. I have been over thinking it a bit. Yes, I do tend to get obsessive. After showing my teacher my outfit and the dance I have been working on, I realized something. While preparation is great, I needed to relax and just remember that my audience will not know if I mess up, I can improvise some of this and I don’t need every step counted out. I listened to her advice and the parts that were giving me problems smoothed out and I feel so much better about the routine. That’s what I needed to do take a deep breath and re-boot.
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