In the last few years we have heard this term and applied to Janet Jackson’s Super bowl performance. I can say that I have thought the term was utter rubbish. Plus her costume had been designed to be revealing.
That all changed this last weekend when I had my own wardrobe malfunction at my dance recital. It was a small venue filled with friends and family. The group looked a little bored so I thought I would step it up a notch. The thing is at home I had not danced full-out, I had no idea that my top was not up to the challenge.
The back clasp broke and I had to hold on to my very heavily beaded bra top and walk off the stage area. My teacher/friend tried to pin me up and I tried to finish the dance, but nothing doing. I had to walk off again and go back to the dressing room. I didn’t cry which some of the women half expected me to. At my age I can gracefully leave and not show anything to the crowd and not cry. Thank you very much!
In the kitchen/dressing room I changed into a tank top and the girls pinned my vale around me like a Sari and I was able to dance again with the others in the finale. It was not a total loss. All the girls were very supportive and encouraging. That was so great of them and what I needed at the time. My friends in the audience told me how smooth my skin is, later in the night when we were having drinks. I didn’t think I was even out there dancing long enough for them to notice.
Lessons learned: I will get my bra top fixed by a seamstress and have it re-enforced. The worst happened and I didn’t die, cry or fall apart. I might think about wearing pasties for other performances. Once you have had your top fail you… nothing is going to get you down. I have been working on my book, and what could go wrong? There is nothing in my project that can’t be fixed or changed and it’s not like the end of the world. It’s not like my top is coming off or anything. Ha Ha. Take that Janet!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Next Phase
I have been working on my dancing and I have been re-editing my novel. The next phase is to get the editing done and send out my first chapter to agents. For my dancing it will this weekend’s performance and starting a dance troupe with my teacher.
I have taken time away from my book to get some distance and some fresh eyes to look at it again. The last rejection letter I got gave me some clues as to where to go with this manuscript. I can see what they meant and I have been going through and re-reading the book from begging to end to see what can be cut.
Not that I have to tell everything in one go, I still need to leave something for the next book and the next project. In the mean time I have been working on this blog and other writing projects. This has all been good for me, in the last few years I have really grown as a writer. It still is life or death to me, in that I want it so badly.
Having other articles appearing in Scoot! Magazine has helped, so I don’t feel like a no one will ever want to hear what I have to say. For a while I was waiting positive encouragement that never came. To get here I just had to keep working and reading about other writers and reading books about becoming a writer.
The first time I went to a writer’s conference I was over confident and I still had a lot of work to do. After reading about working writers and how long it takes them to finish a book and how many times they edit their work and I got the idea in my head that it was going to take longer than I thought. The last few years have not been easy, by any means.
This time I am working on my book it is not at all emotional, as it was before. I can look at it as any other project. What will make it better and keep the pace up? If it is getting boring, cut it.
In my dancing I have to be bolder and not worry about what I look like so much and enjoy myself. If I don’t keep up the passion for my writing or my dancing both will suffer and end up half-baked. That won’t do, at all. On to the next phase, success.
I have taken time away from my book to get some distance and some fresh eyes to look at it again. The last rejection letter I got gave me some clues as to where to go with this manuscript. I can see what they meant and I have been going through and re-reading the book from begging to end to see what can be cut.
Not that I have to tell everything in one go, I still need to leave something for the next book and the next project. In the mean time I have been working on this blog and other writing projects. This has all been good for me, in the last few years I have really grown as a writer. It still is life or death to me, in that I want it so badly.
Having other articles appearing in Scoot! Magazine has helped, so I don’t feel like a no one will ever want to hear what I have to say. For a while I was waiting positive encouragement that never came. To get here I just had to keep working and reading about other writers and reading books about becoming a writer.
The first time I went to a writer’s conference I was over confident and I still had a lot of work to do. After reading about working writers and how long it takes them to finish a book and how many times they edit their work and I got the idea in my head that it was going to take longer than I thought. The last few years have not been easy, by any means.
This time I am working on my book it is not at all emotional, as it was before. I can look at it as any other project. What will make it better and keep the pace up? If it is getting boring, cut it.
In my dancing I have to be bolder and not worry about what I look like so much and enjoy myself. If I don’t keep up the passion for my writing or my dancing both will suffer and end up half-baked. That won’t do, at all. On to the next phase, success.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Re-boot
The last few days I have been going over and over my dance routine for my upcoming performance. The perfectionists in me had me deconstructing other dance routines and editing from what other do well to what I do well.
At the current time I am not that small and I am not going to do belly rolls outside of class. Nor am I daring enough to do full body waves. As it is the sight of myself in a Cabaret Belly Dance outfit made me want to run for the hills.
All my life I have been more modest. Sure there are the occasional over the top sexy outfits. These last few years I have worn more fitted clothing and tops, a few some dresses. It has been in an effort to remind myself to stand up straight, and keep my goal of losing weight in focus. Frankly I have never thought I had a body worth showing off.
What has helped my keep sane is the fact that I have been so disciplined in my work out routine and I have very seldom so much as missed a week of exercise and even then I was ill and not on vacation. Last years’ vacation we were sitting in the truck for so long when we got to in to Reno for a few days I hit the pool and did a few laps. With that in mind, the few sexy outfits have been ones that show off my good points and hid the rest. There is not much fabric to hide behind in a belly dance costume.
This year I have only been on weekend trips here and there and yes I took my dancing DVD’s with me so I could work out. Laptops that play DVD’s are helpful.
With all this in my head, I have taken a very ridged plan of attack on my upcoming performance. I dance to an hour every morning before going to work. I have my outfit so I can practice and not wait till the last second to put on the whole thing. I have been over thinking it a bit. Yes, I do tend to get obsessive. After showing my teacher my outfit and the dance I have been working on, I realized something. While preparation is great, I needed to relax and just remember that my audience will not know if I mess up, I can improvise some of this and I don’t need every step counted out. I listened to her advice and the parts that were giving me problems smoothed out and I feel so much better about the routine. That’s what I needed to do take a deep breath and re-boot.
At the current time I am not that small and I am not going to do belly rolls outside of class. Nor am I daring enough to do full body waves. As it is the sight of myself in a Cabaret Belly Dance outfit made me want to run for the hills.
All my life I have been more modest. Sure there are the occasional over the top sexy outfits. These last few years I have worn more fitted clothing and tops, a few some dresses. It has been in an effort to remind myself to stand up straight, and keep my goal of losing weight in focus. Frankly I have never thought I had a body worth showing off.
What has helped my keep sane is the fact that I have been so disciplined in my work out routine and I have very seldom so much as missed a week of exercise and even then I was ill and not on vacation. Last years’ vacation we were sitting in the truck for so long when we got to in to Reno for a few days I hit the pool and did a few laps. With that in mind, the few sexy outfits have been ones that show off my good points and hid the rest. There is not much fabric to hide behind in a belly dance costume.
This year I have only been on weekend trips here and there and yes I took my dancing DVD’s with me so I could work out. Laptops that play DVD’s are helpful.
With all this in my head, I have taken a very ridged plan of attack on my upcoming performance. I dance to an hour every morning before going to work. I have my outfit so I can practice and not wait till the last second to put on the whole thing. I have been over thinking it a bit. Yes, I do tend to get obsessive. After showing my teacher my outfit and the dance I have been working on, I realized something. While preparation is great, I needed to relax and just remember that my audience will not know if I mess up, I can improvise some of this and I don’t need every step counted out. I listened to her advice and the parts that were giving me problems smoothed out and I feel so much better about the routine. That’s what I needed to do take a deep breath and re-boot.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
More dancing
I had it in my mind that there was a dance event coming up. I know the girls in my class have been talking about September 13th. I didn’t want to be caught off guard without a proper routine, so I have been working on some moves.
Unbeknownst to me that is the date of our dance recital. Now I am in a panic to get a new outfit. Just my normal hip scarf will not do for performance. Plus I know what I want. I did find it one-line. Buy it was not in stock. Then I had to start from scratch. Goodness, all this for one evening.
I have been looking at pages of websites with spangles and beaded bra tops. It makes the mind reel. There are so many choices, and styles. I know what I want and later it will look good.
After two days of searching I found what I wanted in my size at the Velvet Gypsy, in Venice Ca. I am rarely in Venice, and I had to jam down there before they closed at 6pm. I am now the proud owner of a blue and gold beaded bra and belt with a gold skirt. It will go nicely with my gold and blue vale.
Yes, the question begs to be asked, am I crazy? I just turned 39 a few weeks ago and I am not skinny. Am I really going to get up in public and belly dance? If I asked my mother and sister, they would tell me not to do it. My sister would tell me I am too fat to get up and dance. My mother would agree. Which is why don’t talk to them and haven’t in years. The belly dance community is so much more accepting. They just tell you, that you’re a goddess and get out there and shake you thing! Not to worry about your shape and just have fun. This is why I even think I can do this. I have always been a dancer and I love it. On the plus side of this, all this dancing will help my waistline!
This chapter in my life will go down as, “how I dealt with getting older”. In the last few years I have been going to Pilates, surfing and now belly dancing. This is all in an effort to lose some weight before I turn 40, when it’s just a downhill ride to menopause. I know heavy women have a hard time with it, so I just want to be fitter as I get older. It also helps to keep bone mass.
As it is things are going well and will all this dancing it should get better. I have a goal with the upcoming performance to keep me on track as well. Here goes nothing! Or everything, just more dancing.
Unbeknownst to me that is the date of our dance recital. Now I am in a panic to get a new outfit. Just my normal hip scarf will not do for performance. Plus I know what I want. I did find it one-line. Buy it was not in stock. Then I had to start from scratch. Goodness, all this for one evening.
I have been looking at pages of websites with spangles and beaded bra tops. It makes the mind reel. There are so many choices, and styles. I know what I want and later it will look good.
After two days of searching I found what I wanted in my size at the Velvet Gypsy, in Venice Ca. I am rarely in Venice, and I had to jam down there before they closed at 6pm. I am now the proud owner of a blue and gold beaded bra and belt with a gold skirt. It will go nicely with my gold and blue vale.
Yes, the question begs to be asked, am I crazy? I just turned 39 a few weeks ago and I am not skinny. Am I really going to get up in public and belly dance? If I asked my mother and sister, they would tell me not to do it. My sister would tell me I am too fat to get up and dance. My mother would agree. Which is why don’t talk to them and haven’t in years. The belly dance community is so much more accepting. They just tell you, that you’re a goddess and get out there and shake you thing! Not to worry about your shape and just have fun. This is why I even think I can do this. I have always been a dancer and I love it. On the plus side of this, all this dancing will help my waistline!
This chapter in my life will go down as, “how I dealt with getting older”. In the last few years I have been going to Pilates, surfing and now belly dancing. This is all in an effort to lose some weight before I turn 40, when it’s just a downhill ride to menopause. I know heavy women have a hard time with it, so I just want to be fitter as I get older. It also helps to keep bone mass.
As it is things are going well and will all this dancing it should get better. I have a goal with the upcoming performance to keep me on track as well. Here goes nothing! Or everything, just more dancing.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Can’t wait
Some things we need to wait for: food to be cooked, events to come around, friends to show up for dinner. Of course some are more difficult to wait for than others.
I have been waiting for some friends to come my house for dinner. I have asked them several times, and they flaked out. It was sad because I really enjoy their company, so I was very disappointed. This last weekend they finally made it and it was great! I always have a good time when I see them and they make me laugh till I cry. That’s why when they didn’t show I was so bummed. This last time made up for it all.
I have other friends from Europe I am waiting for them to visit the states and stay at my home. One is from Switzerland and the other family is from Scotland and I can’t wait to see them again. But I will have to. I know we will have a great time when they do get here, so it is well worth the wait.
I have been waiting for my book to get published and I have to wait longer. That part is up to me and to get this manuscript up to par. The waiting part comes when I send the first chapter out and see what will happen next. In the mean time I have this blog and my work to keep me busy.
Something’s I will not wait for. If something bothers me, like a problem with a friend I have to get that out and over with as soon as possible. I have called them at work or school. Once I get it off my chest and we resolve it, once I do it’s all good and I can go about my day. I don’t bring it up again and we move on. It’s not that I lose sleep over it, but if it still bothers me in the morning, I know I have to make a call or text or email. As long as I can air things out, I am fine.
When there is a block to airing things out, or someone tells me they can’t or won’t talk about it right then. I can’t stand it. That’s when things get bad and they get bigger than they would have been if I could have spoken to them right away. Or if they just get so defensive I can’t tell them how I feel, then the whole point of talking about what is bothering me is totally lost.
If I have to wait and wait to get things out than I feel as if they don’t care and I shouldn’t even bother trying to resolve things. I get so discouraged it seems pointless to try again. That doesn’t happen with most of my friends, they are always willing to hear me out and we make up quickly. Travel can wait, food can wait, talking to someone you care about like a friend, and I can’t wait.
I have been waiting for some friends to come my house for dinner. I have asked them several times, and they flaked out. It was sad because I really enjoy their company, so I was very disappointed. This last weekend they finally made it and it was great! I always have a good time when I see them and they make me laugh till I cry. That’s why when they didn’t show I was so bummed. This last time made up for it all.
I have other friends from Europe I am waiting for them to visit the states and stay at my home. One is from Switzerland and the other family is from Scotland and I can’t wait to see them again. But I will have to. I know we will have a great time when they do get here, so it is well worth the wait.
I have been waiting for my book to get published and I have to wait longer. That part is up to me and to get this manuscript up to par. The waiting part comes when I send the first chapter out and see what will happen next. In the mean time I have this blog and my work to keep me busy.
Something’s I will not wait for. If something bothers me, like a problem with a friend I have to get that out and over with as soon as possible. I have called them at work or school. Once I get it off my chest and we resolve it, once I do it’s all good and I can go about my day. I don’t bring it up again and we move on. It’s not that I lose sleep over it, but if it still bothers me in the morning, I know I have to make a call or text or email. As long as I can air things out, I am fine.
When there is a block to airing things out, or someone tells me they can’t or won’t talk about it right then. I can’t stand it. That’s when things get bad and they get bigger than they would have been if I could have spoken to them right away. Or if they just get so defensive I can’t tell them how I feel, then the whole point of talking about what is bothering me is totally lost.
If I have to wait and wait to get things out than I feel as if they don’t care and I shouldn’t even bother trying to resolve things. I get so discouraged it seems pointless to try again. That doesn’t happen with most of my friends, they are always willing to hear me out and we make up quickly. Travel can wait, food can wait, talking to someone you care about like a friend, and I can’t wait.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Next Year
We all make plans at the beginning of the year for things that we want to accomplish during the next year. The New Year’s resolution; I never do that in January, but rather, in September. I always think of September as the New Year. Maybe because my birthday is in August and September was always the beginning of school year.
For some reason the calendars for the next year are already out at the bookstores. I have to stop myself. I used to get a day calendar, a desk calendar, a wall calendar, and the free one at Hallmark stores and I would write in all of them. Yes, I had some obsessive need to write down my days’ activities in three different places, and I did too……scary.
It hasn’t been a complete waste of time, thankfully. I have used these notes to write my first book. I had tons of material to draw on. These days, I keep up a journal in my laptop and I still have my daily planner, which I sometimes write in. I keep some of my emails to friend....good stuff in there, and I know I will use it in another story sometime.
How are we doing with the plans we made in January? Have we been keeping up at the gym? Have we lost the weight we wanted or stopped smoking? I don’t say this to throw out a guilt trip. Every day on this earth is a day to try to do better. Do we only have to try in January? Or can we get back on the treadmill today?
What about me? I have been going to my exercise classes and have even added a belly dance class that I didn’t plan on. I haven’t dropped all the weight I wanted to by now, but am getting there. Still, things are better this year than last. My butt is smaller and I can be happy about that. I really look forward to Monday nights when I do two classes back to back. My friends are all happy and healthy and I get to see them on a regular basis. I get to go to work with people I really care about. I get to write and God blessed me with the ability to be witty, and it comes in handy sometimes. :-)
As for my goals, some are the same and some are different, like keeping up with surfing. I am still working on all of them. I still have lots of things I want to do with my life and yes tons more travel. I may never have kids, but one day you’ll see a photo of me at the top of Machu Pichu or in a Sari in India. Who knows? There is always next year.
For some reason the calendars for the next year are already out at the bookstores. I have to stop myself. I used to get a day calendar, a desk calendar, a wall calendar, and the free one at Hallmark stores and I would write in all of them. Yes, I had some obsessive need to write down my days’ activities in three different places, and I did too……scary.
It hasn’t been a complete waste of time, thankfully. I have used these notes to write my first book. I had tons of material to draw on. These days, I keep up a journal in my laptop and I still have my daily planner, which I sometimes write in. I keep some of my emails to friend....good stuff in there, and I know I will use it in another story sometime.
How are we doing with the plans we made in January? Have we been keeping up at the gym? Have we lost the weight we wanted or stopped smoking? I don’t say this to throw out a guilt trip. Every day on this earth is a day to try to do better. Do we only have to try in January? Or can we get back on the treadmill today?
What about me? I have been going to my exercise classes and have even added a belly dance class that I didn’t plan on. I haven’t dropped all the weight I wanted to by now, but am getting there. Still, things are better this year than last. My butt is smaller and I can be happy about that. I really look forward to Monday nights when I do two classes back to back. My friends are all happy and healthy and I get to see them on a regular basis. I get to go to work with people I really care about. I get to write and God blessed me with the ability to be witty, and it comes in handy sometimes. :-)
As for my goals, some are the same and some are different, like keeping up with surfing. I am still working on all of them. I still have lots of things I want to do with my life and yes tons more travel. I may never have kids, but one day you’ll see a photo of me at the top of Machu Pichu or in a Sari in India. Who knows? There is always next year.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Again
My dog Middy has gone into season and we are thinking about breeding her again. She is a great mom and her pups are always healthy and great. Every time I enjoy getting to know their personalities.
They all hold you finger with their front legs, just like their mother does. Middy loves to be scratched on her chest, so much so that she holds your hand there with her front paws. It’s so funny to see the pups do the same thing, even as young as a few days.
Middy is so good with them and takes such great care of them. Even as much as a tomboy as she is, when it comes down to it she can be quite motherly. It’s fun to watch her play with the pups and let them jump on her and bite at her and she is calm and lets them play and is so patent with them.
As for me, it’s a lot of hard work. The question really is, am I ready for a new litter of pups? I always love to see them and they are always so cute. That’s the thing about baby animals, even big ones like rhino’s or lions; all of them look so cute when they are young. No matter how big they all have that child-like innocence and look of wonderment in their eyes. How great is that? Plus puppies make everything better!
Of course they all grow up and as the pups get bigger I have to once again roll up my sleeves and clean up after them. People always remark that it would be too hard to give them away. Um, after cleaning up after 6 pups, yeah you can give them away.
We try our best to make sure they go to good homes and have been very fortunate in that regard. Usually only people who have already had Scotties want Scotties. I guess here goes nothing….again.
They all hold you finger with their front legs, just like their mother does. Middy loves to be scratched on her chest, so much so that she holds your hand there with her front paws. It’s so funny to see the pups do the same thing, even as young as a few days.
Middy is so good with them and takes such great care of them. Even as much as a tomboy as she is, when it comes down to it she can be quite motherly. It’s fun to watch her play with the pups and let them jump on her and bite at her and she is calm and lets them play and is so patent with them.
As for me, it’s a lot of hard work. The question really is, am I ready for a new litter of pups? I always love to see them and they are always so cute. That’s the thing about baby animals, even big ones like rhino’s or lions; all of them look so cute when they are young. No matter how big they all have that child-like innocence and look of wonderment in their eyes. How great is that? Plus puppies make everything better!
Of course they all grow up and as the pups get bigger I have to once again roll up my sleeves and clean up after them. People always remark that it would be too hard to give them away. Um, after cleaning up after 6 pups, yeah you can give them away.
We try our best to make sure they go to good homes and have been very fortunate in that regard. Usually only people who have already had Scotties want Scotties. I guess here goes nothing….again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
