In TV shows there is this idea that friends will be together forever. On the show Friends, it didn't happen and it doesn't happen in real life. In the shows its hard to think that after every one has slept with each other they will still be friends.
In the past some of my girl friends have disappointed me in ways I never thought. One girl friend was so prideful and wouldn't have me question her husband. She thought he was so great and always right. She learned that he wasn't, but by that time our friendship was over. I knew it was going to end things, but I had to speak up. At that time she was just spinning out of control with her obsession over something that had happened 2 years before that. I couldn't listen anymore and by this point she was just thinking others were holding something against her husband, um no everyone else has moved on, and what if he was wrong? That is what I had to say and she flipped.
Another ended up leaving her husband and is remarried to a man that was close to her family, its like she married her uncle. I have seen this new couple, but they are so creepy. She has a father complex and wanted her father to take better care of her after her mother died. It never happened and both her husbands have been older than herself. The first was a user and thought her family was loaded and he wouldn't have to work much. That didn't happen and she didn't get the life his first wife had, going to Nordie's all the time.
I used to be so close to these two, but they freaked out and I am no longer friends with them. It makes me wonder, if I can't stand these women how do these men feel? No wonder they can't keep their marriages going they can't even be friends very well. Some days I miss them and want to give them a call. I can't there isn't that close bond anymore.
The other thing I wonder is what will I be like in ten years? What if the few friends I have are not there? I can feel that I am becoming bitter towards women. I am very careful what I say to the women at my work. I am not their buddy, I am nice but I don't tell them too much. I sit and watch them, and for the most part they are not nice and they steal sales and are tacky. For the most part I eat lunch alone, I don't care that they don't ask me to go on break with them.
Am I going to be this old woman by herself with tons of dogs and no friends? Neither of these women wanted me to be honest with them. They wanted me to go along with their daydreams and I just couldn't. I can't go along with the fairly tail of the Sit-Com's that they will be friends forever and I couldn't keep listening to them go on and on about some daydreams that aren't real. The Sit-Com families are not real, and I like to live in the real world. No wonder I am better friends with men than women, I can be blunt with them and they might get mad, but then tell me I was right to say something.
As for the future, I have been reconnecting with some of my girlfriends. One helped be my muse the other day and got me on a new writing project. I was so grateful to her and burst out into tears, I didn't know how much I needed to talk to her. I don't want to be a bitter old woman with no friends. Of course I will have to learn French so when I retire to the south of France I can still have friends.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Trying
In the last month I have started a new job, this has had its ups and downs. While I am grateful to have a job. I keep reading how the worst places to get a job are in my own back yard. I have to remind myself of that when I want to hit people over the head, when they are being annoying.
The other thing that has been helping is having the paycheck. I have bought myself some fun boots and some work shoes. I don't have to ask my man for money to get my nails done, since I have my own.
One of the other benefits, having money and days off in the middle of the week to have lunch with my girlfriends. I connected with one earlier this week, it felt really great and I didn't know how much I had missed her. Now that I have a job and I have some money, we can make this a more regular event. She even inspired me to a new project.
The other day at work I was told to go to a second sales seminar, we all were told this. It helped a lot, I had been focusing on personalities of my co-workers and things I don't like about them. In truth some of the girls are very ghetto, and I don't mean anything about their ethnicity, but the urban equivalent of being 'born in a barn'. No manners, no class.
I would be lying if I said I didn't mess around and play at work when I was 19. It was only the week my manager was on vacation. We did get loud, and I felt bad right away. The difference is that even a much older women joined in the antics, didn't stop it and there was tons of customers around. When I was 19 we just ran done the escalator and laughed loud. It wasn't a good thing, but as soon as we saw some of the other managers we straighten up.
I really don't want to be the older lady saying that the younger generation is rubbish and all, they make it too easy. Talking about how much they drank the night before and when they were constipated. Things I really don't want to know.
Instead I try to look at the things I have control of, my own customer service. I have mentioned to my friends that I do things my own way and not the company way. Still I get lots of sales. They want customers to buy everything, um I live in the real world, people are still broke. Filling up my tank yesterday and I am spending twice as much as a few years ago. Good thing my job is close to home.
In all I am trying to adjust to the new job, it is better to have a place to go to. A reason to get up and get dressed. Last year I had to deal with feeling useless and bored at home. Sure none of it is really easy, at least I can help my family.
The other thing that has been helping is having the paycheck. I have bought myself some fun boots and some work shoes. I don't have to ask my man for money to get my nails done, since I have my own.
One of the other benefits, having money and days off in the middle of the week to have lunch with my girlfriends. I connected with one earlier this week, it felt really great and I didn't know how much I had missed her. Now that I have a job and I have some money, we can make this a more regular event. She even inspired me to a new project.
The other day at work I was told to go to a second sales seminar, we all were told this. It helped a lot, I had been focusing on personalities of my co-workers and things I don't like about them. In truth some of the girls are very ghetto, and I don't mean anything about their ethnicity, but the urban equivalent of being 'born in a barn'. No manners, no class.
I would be lying if I said I didn't mess around and play at work when I was 19. It was only the week my manager was on vacation. We did get loud, and I felt bad right away. The difference is that even a much older women joined in the antics, didn't stop it and there was tons of customers around. When I was 19 we just ran done the escalator and laughed loud. It wasn't a good thing, but as soon as we saw some of the other managers we straighten up.
I really don't want to be the older lady saying that the younger generation is rubbish and all, they make it too easy. Talking about how much they drank the night before and when they were constipated. Things I really don't want to know.
Instead I try to look at the things I have control of, my own customer service. I have mentioned to my friends that I do things my own way and not the company way. Still I get lots of sales. They want customers to buy everything, um I live in the real world, people are still broke. Filling up my tank yesterday and I am spending twice as much as a few years ago. Good thing my job is close to home.
In all I am trying to adjust to the new job, it is better to have a place to go to. A reason to get up and get dressed. Last year I had to deal with feeling useless and bored at home. Sure none of it is really easy, at least I can help my family.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
This time
I have been working at a new job, the thing is its the same job I had when I was first working. We like to think as we get older, we get wiser. What has changed and what has stayed the same? Will I get it right this time?
This time around I am doing things much differently. When I was younger I spent a lot of money eating at restaurants. This time I bring my own lunch. Not only does it save money, I'm not running around spending my lunch hour chasing down fast food. Instead I eat, put my feet up and relax.
When I was younger the company people tried to intimated me into only using their products. While I have tried the new line I am working for, I don't care for it. I will use the brands I love and use the commission I earn to get what I want. The company people want me to dress a certain way for work. Fine, I can do that, but I will wear my Dr. Martin's shoes, for comfort and style.
The things that are the same, women really don't want to change. Especially older women. When they come into the store they want the girls to confirm that they are right. Some will say they want a new lipstick color but really that is just
an excuse to have some one pay attention to them. They end up buying pretty much the same color. Younger women will change colors, after 55 they buy the same color for the next 10 years.
Some older women feel that the prices are too high at department stores and instead of going to the drug store they feel the can beg for free samples or steal testers, as a way to compensate for all the money they just spent. They always pretend they don't understand or are confused as to the difference between testers and free gifts, as if they are one and the same. Its still stealing lady.
Some older ladies that use the most expensive face creams, they use it sparingly all year. They then come in and don't remember the name of the product. They expect me to remember them and their one purchase for the year. Sorry crazy lady if you don't know the name on the jar you have been looking at all year, how do you expect me to?
The younger girls that work for the company are bought and sold by them and believe everything the company says about the product as if it were the gospel truth. They have not tried too many other brands themselves, so they believe they have the best products in the world. Its really amusing to me, to be trained by them and keep a straight face. I manage to do that and I keep my views to myself.
Also this time around I am not trying to tell the customer what they want. I listen to them more and get them what they want. This has resulted in more sales. This time I do not listen to what my counter manager says and I do not push more products on people. I live in the real world and times are hard. People can only buy the product they came in for, nothing extra. They simply don't have the money for it. When people return items, its not that they got the wrong thing or the formula changed or any of the other excuses they give. They need the money back, since they are broke.
When I was younger it seemed nice to have the stores opened late. Now its such a bother. Do people really need to be shopping at 11 pm on the weekend? Really the company could save so much money per year if they closed the stores at 8pm, that is still three hours after people get off work from regular 9 to 5 jobs. If they need to shop later than that, there is always the website.
The things that have changed, I know my own mind. I have my own values and I know how to keep those and work for a company. There is no reason to give those up just to work for someone. When I was younger I didn't know how to balance the two.
Yesterday I was so tired and was at work since they thought they would need the extra help. Earlier in the week a lot of the girls called in sick. Yesterday everyone showed up. It was clear I wasn't needed. After two hours and selling nearly 300.00 worth of products, I could leave or drag my tired body around for another 6 hours. After clearing it with the manager I clocked out, went home ate lunch and took a much needed nap. I feel so much better today. Earning more money was not as important as taking a break. That it why it is better to be older and know what you really need.
This time around I am doing things much differently. When I was younger I spent a lot of money eating at restaurants. This time I bring my own lunch. Not only does it save money, I'm not running around spending my lunch hour chasing down fast food. Instead I eat, put my feet up and relax.
When I was younger the company people tried to intimated me into only using their products. While I have tried the new line I am working for, I don't care for it. I will use the brands I love and use the commission I earn to get what I want. The company people want me to dress a certain way for work. Fine, I can do that, but I will wear my Dr. Martin's shoes, for comfort and style.
The things that are the same, women really don't want to change. Especially older women. When they come into the store they want the girls to confirm that they are right. Some will say they want a new lipstick color but really that is just
an excuse to have some one pay attention to them. They end up buying pretty much the same color. Younger women will change colors, after 55 they buy the same color for the next 10 years.
Some older women feel that the prices are too high at department stores and instead of going to the drug store they feel the can beg for free samples or steal testers, as a way to compensate for all the money they just spent. They always pretend they don't understand or are confused as to the difference between testers and free gifts, as if they are one and the same. Its still stealing lady.
Some older ladies that use the most expensive face creams, they use it sparingly all year. They then come in and don't remember the name of the product. They expect me to remember them and their one purchase for the year. Sorry crazy lady if you don't know the name on the jar you have been looking at all year, how do you expect me to?
The younger girls that work for the company are bought and sold by them and believe everything the company says about the product as if it were the gospel truth. They have not tried too many other brands themselves, so they believe they have the best products in the world. Its really amusing to me, to be trained by them and keep a straight face. I manage to do that and I keep my views to myself.
Also this time around I am not trying to tell the customer what they want. I listen to them more and get them what they want. This has resulted in more sales. This time I do not listen to what my counter manager says and I do not push more products on people. I live in the real world and times are hard. People can only buy the product they came in for, nothing extra. They simply don't have the money for it. When people return items, its not that they got the wrong thing or the formula changed or any of the other excuses they give. They need the money back, since they are broke.
When I was younger it seemed nice to have the stores opened late. Now its such a bother. Do people really need to be shopping at 11 pm on the weekend? Really the company could save so much money per year if they closed the stores at 8pm, that is still three hours after people get off work from regular 9 to 5 jobs. If they need to shop later than that, there is always the website.
The things that have changed, I know my own mind. I have my own values and I know how to keep those and work for a company. There is no reason to give those up just to work for someone. When I was younger I didn't know how to balance the two.
Yesterday I was so tired and was at work since they thought they would need the extra help. Earlier in the week a lot of the girls called in sick. Yesterday everyone showed up. It was clear I wasn't needed. After two hours and selling nearly 300.00 worth of products, I could leave or drag my tired body around for another 6 hours. After clearing it with the manager I clocked out, went home ate lunch and took a much needed nap. I feel so much better today. Earning more money was not as important as taking a break. That it why it is better to be older and know what you really need.
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