2009 over yet?

I don't know another year I have been so glad to see go away as this year. I guess the promise of something new, better or different is so appealing this time around.

Why? This year has been the worst in a long time. I have had so many friends lose their jobs and 1st off they were living on a shoe-string budget. That budget was now reduced to a dental floss string. There have been so many events I wanted them to be with me for and the truth was, there was no money for it.

For myself I have had to come up with inventive ways to save money. Like making 24 bean and cheese burritos and freezing them, or getting chickens and raising them for their eggs. I have been recycling all our bottles and cans. We stay home a lot and don't go out to dinner much.

There have been quite a few deaths this year and we were bombarded with Celeb deaths. I really don't think anyone needs a golden casket. Then I again I wasn't a big fan of a lot of the celeb's that died. Others I was sad to see go and its just the long period of morning. It doesn't help when every one is struggling as it is.

Most of the time when I write, the very act of writing cheers me up and I end on a good note. This time, I don't mean to whine, I just need to get it off my chest. There have been good things this year too, and most of the time I focus on that, it helps. I am happy for my pups and that I have a roof over my head. I am happy for my close friends that I can depend on during these difficult times. Just a few more days and we can say good by a very difficult year. 2010 where are You?

The End

A big part of my life is ending. I am sadden of course, so much effort was put into it. It is great waste of time and money and that makes me sick.

Then there is something else. That person had their chance to make it great, go big, be a success and they have not. I feel happy that I was part of it and it was great. It still makes me happy that the chance was taken, that it was put out there. Help was given, we tried to make a difference.

Now what? I still have other things I can do. I always have, also its time to worry about me again. Its time to work on my career and its time to focus on that. One door is closing and another is opening.

This change is not going to be easy and it will get worse before it gets better. It will get better, there will be an end to all the bad stuff I am going head long into right now. For now I have to hunker down and just deal with it.

The next step is already in the works, and to that end I am putting my name in the hat to do a reading this weekend. I still want to remain friends, its always better that way. No need to burn bridges. All the energy I put into this project will be redirected to my own projects. I still have lots of goals to pursue.

So it may the end of one thing and the begging of another.

Helping a friend

This year I have discussed much about saving money. The best thing I have done is to get my chickens. Some of my friends thought I was crazy when I said I wanted them.
They are worth their weight in gold!

I have been able to help my friends by giving them fresh eggs. Another friend imports veggies and we have been doing a farmers exchange. Eggs for beans and other items. Others are begging to be on my list to get eggs.

This month people are going to be exchanging gifts. What other gift do you need but to help your friends? None of us are going to get through these hard times with out pulling together. Do you have an extra bottle of wine? Can you make your friends up a plate of food and give them some wine to go with it? Do you have clothes you have hardly worn some one else can use?

If your friend has a business that needs customers let people know. To that end here goes. Check out Pin Up Star they are running a special. If you want to give art to your friends check out www.leoralutz.com

This is just what I can do right now to help a friend.

Fast-faster

The last few weeks have been a blur to me. There has been so much going on, too much to write about.

This had been the hardest year at the shop I work at, and it maybe time for me to take on even more work, just to keep my head above water. I don't know if its a fast reaction, or I should have done this sooner. If I don't act fast and get a move on, it could get worse, faster than you can say, "stop the world I want to get off!"

Not to worry I wouldn't do anything drastic, its just imperative that I help my family. These aren't the days for idle time and dreaming away, we need to roll up our sleeves and get going.

We can't take a nap and hope things will get better, the only way we can catch up is to work hard. I already have a job, but I have to look for another one. If it works out, I may have very little time to write my blogs. Or they will be shorter. Not that I don't still have a lot to say, I just need to say it faster.

Love Boat

After all this time with my man, we finally went on a cruise ship. Since neither one of us had ever done this, we opted for a short 3 day cruise, just to get our 'feet wet'.

As it was it went well. I have to say I did think of the music to the love boat as I boarded the ship. I wanted to call the captain "Cap tin Steuben" but he was from Europe, I don't know if he would get the reference.

With all I have heard over the years, the buffets are just buffets. Its not that spectacular. I suppose if you are not used to really nice meals it would knock your socks off. It did not bowl me over. It was fine, but not the best I have ever had, and some people were very rude in the lines, that got old fast.
The prices for the tickets were nice and cheep, so this cruise with with us bargain hunters. The prices for a massage were overpriced. For the same amount I could get one massage a week at my normal place here in Fullerton and have tip money left over.

There was also vastly over priced art work, that wasn't very good. We visited the auction since they served free champagne. In these ruff times the free things win! A little over an hour later and we had high- tea in an other part of the ship.

The good things, there was a part of the ship were no kids were allowed. There was Jacuzzis and chaise lounges and it was the quite spot. Apart from the rooms. The food in the formal dinning area was better and it was nice to have some one else bring you, your food. The formal night had some real scary fashion choices. It was fun to watch. The musical review was also fun to watch, maybe not in the way it was intended.

Would I go again? I'm not sure, I realy got tired of the buffets quickly and the decor was gawdy, like a brothel. Not like the love boat at all.

Giving

A lot of people wait for holidays and birthdays to give gifts. In my life I have tired to find other times to give gifts.

I really hate the thought of forced giving. It is so much more fun to surprise people with a gift for no reason. I have given my dance teachers gifts, and it is so much fun. Tonight I will see a friend and give them a gift as well. Why not?

If we look for opportunity's to give we get so much more in return. The look on their faces and thanks. Its so much better than at expected times.

Having said that, since its been such a difficult year, its harder to find the money to give gifts. Should people really expect much this year? No, they shouldn't. The thing is the precedent is that they will get something. So forced giving makes people greedy and they won't settle for less.

Be grateful for whatever you get, no matter how little or how much! Be grateful for other things as well, not just the price tag on the item.

Pretty Girl

She looks at herself in the mirror, she looks nice today. The tight red dress and he long hair looks great, she is ready to go. She stands out side to wait for him and turns in her foot and raises her hand to her mouth. She stands looking like a little doll.Everyone says to her "Shawna your such a pretty girl" She knows this and lets people be jealous by her posts on line. She has her boyfriend Jerry all to herself.

"Hey babe, get in." he says. His brown hair short and close to his head. He has a toothy grin and looks great in the convert able. She smiles as she climbs in. Feeling confident that he loves her. She looks at the window as they drive all seems right in their world.

They go to a friends house for dinner. As he walks with her through the door he scans the room. Seeing Sherry across the room his heart stops and he has to get to her for a quick second.
"Babe could you get me a drink?" He asks with a nice smile.

"Sure, no problem." She smiles back and goes to the frig.

Jerry makes his way to Sherry. "Hey how are you?" He leans in close to her ear. "Please don't tell Shawna about Britney Okay? Please don't" He asked.

"Fine I won't say anything, but you really need to stop all this running around. One day these girls are going to wake up to the fact that you are a big whore. You better get back to her." She rolled her eyes at him. She pities the other girl, sure she was young and pretty, just dumb. It's not that she really wanted to keep his secret, there was just no way she was going to spend time talking to that little idiot anyway. Its not that she isn't cute herself, but being older she has learned that men can be awful. She also knows not to try to tell Shawna better to let her learn on her own.

Shawna sees Sherry from a distance and has no idea what that look means. She turns away. 'She must be sad she doesn't look this good anymore.' She tells herself. Not all of us can be this pretty.

Catching Up

At the shop where I work we have been working on one project for so long and now it's time to catch up on everything else.

It seems to have spilled over into my home life as well. I feel as if I can think about other things and I need to catch up on some cleaning.

I would have been able to do that this week, but I ended up having an emergency with one of my dogs and she had to get surgery. Poor thing, she will be fine and the procedure was a success. Sure we can't plan for everything, and we shouldn't try.

When the home and office are clean and everyone is healthy and happy, I feel so good. I have been feeling that way lately. Sure there have been a few sick days, but on the whole we are all okay.

The things I can feel good about are: my dogs are all okay and Middy will be soon. I still have a roof over my head and work. There is food in the frig and the chickens are fine and laying eggs. There is work at the shop and money to be made. I am getting rid of clutter by selling things on ebay,and helping my family at the same time. I will be able to get out of town for a few days this month. We stocked up on wine at a recent sale and even though we have to stay home we can have a nice wine with dinner. In the mail I got the last article I wrote for a magazine.

Do we every really got caught up? I don't know, it seems like there is always something. If I can at least clean up more than when things are stressful its one less thing to worry about and that helps.

The Boys

In the crate they peep out. The larger of the two barks loudly and wants to be held. The other slightly smaller one also wants to be held; only he waits in silence.

They both play hard and yes they fight like brothers do. It is nothing unusual, just regular, ‘you where too close to me’, type of fighting. At the end of the day they cuddle and sleep next to each other and all is forgiven.

The girls fight as well. Maddy, the bigger of the two always seems to go for the neck and it looks like she is beating up her sister. It’s all part of pecking order that dogs have. The girls really do love each other as do the boys.

One of the boys likes to sit on his butt and uses his paw to balance himself on the side of the crate. He just likes to sit up straight. Even when he was smaller he would get himself up on the side of the whelping box and sit up. Sort of like he was in an arm chair and he liked to be propped up like that, with his tongue sticking out a bit, he still does that.

The family that wants the boys wants to keep them together. They may end up in a big rig and travel, keeping the new owner company on his long halls. If that works out then they will have grand adventures and I couldn’t be happier for both of them.

In time the boys will go on their way and learn to be good with another family and ‘make their way in the world’, so to speak. I do care for all the pups we have had and I am so glad I got to meet them all. Its’ been great to get to know them and see all of their personalities. This time we are keeping Maddy, named after a friends and Crackers, who also goes by ‘Crackers Morven’. In the times we have bred our dog everyone else gets a puppy this time I get two!

As for the boys, they make a great pair. I couldn’t be happier for someone to take both of them and keep them together. I’ll miss them, but I’m happy for them to ride on into the sunset!

Green hour

The door is at the bottom of the staircase in a dark corner of the building. The street level has a courtyard and a few other restaurants and some shops. This is not like the others, and has been around longer than all of the others.

The carpet may be a bit better for ware, and the inside feels and looks like a cave. All part of the charm you see. The leather upholstered bar with red leather chairs great you. As well as a party of people, at least this time.

They were celebrating a birthday. There was a cake in the corner at one of the booths. There are also a few tables and chairs. No one is using them at the time. The bulk of the group is crowded around the bar. This group happens to be made up of the 50 plus singles crowd. As they sip their drinks the flirting begins. Only the alcohol is making their conversation skills go downhill.

“ I don’t have time to get naked, I just take off my clothes and put my night gown on right away.” A loud woman announced. I didn’t really understand that statement, I have a feeling she didn’t either.

“ Are you going to be able to get up by 8 a.m. tomorrow?” A blonde asked a older man in black tight pants and shinny button down shirt.

“ Yup, I am going straight home, it’s a long drive back to Long Beach.” He said. They seemed to all work together and had met here for drinks and this party. Usually the crowd here is much younger, so this was an exception. Gratefully this group left after a short time. One woman was laughing so loud and she had more of a cackle, it was a relief to see her leave.

The rest of the night the crowd was more usual, a group of young girls from the local college, and some young men trying to flirt with the new bar girl. The tall Brit girl that is getting sloppy on wine wearing a long white trench coat, yes she should have eaten first.

Why endure all this when I could be home and drinking in peace and quit? While that is true, it doesn’t beat this story. Plus this is my new favorite place. The end of the night finds us enjoying some abisinthe and have a laugh, quite a few in fact. Long after this evening is over I still have the taste of absinthe in my mind and can’t wait to have a nice evening and enjoy it and the atmosphere of this spot again.

Errands

The middle of the week and she has so many things to do. Her goal is to get everything done before 5 P.M. It’s not that she is older; it is just satisfying to get things done before the rush hour.

The hardware store, as soon as she enters there is a strong smell, bug spray mixed with plastic and popcorn. The small store always makes popcorn, with the other industrial smells the popcorn can’t compete with, and it never seems appetizing to her. This store always has unusual and fun things. She only has a few things to get; still it’s hard not to get distracted by the 8 dollar spatula found in the gourmet food display.

Does she want to drive her usual route or go down another street? It can get boring to always drive down the same streets. Today, it will only take her a few seconds more to go left and down another side street. It’s such a nice proper down town, why not enjoy the scenery?

She lowers the window and lets in some fresh air, the wind blows around her long hair. The cool fall wind feels great; a few trees have started to change color. Unlike back east, the last of these leafs will still be around till late December.

There is a quick trip to the store. She gets into the checkout line, the clerk recognizes her.
“It’s late in the week for you to be here. Didn’t you make all your dinners already?” She asks Devon.

“Yes I did and I just need to pick up some tortillas. I’m making up some burritos for lunches. I made some beans and now I will make them up and freeze them. I usually make about 24 at a time.” Devon answers.

“Wow, you’re more ambitious than I am.” The clerk says with a smile.

“I just like getting it done. I only have to do this like once a month. Then we can just grab them out of the freezer, nuke them at work and I don’t have to scramble every morning wondering what to pack for lunch.” Devon says. She pays for her purchase and drives off. Sure it’s a lot of work, but only for one night.

Urban farming

I don’t like to think of myself as part of a fad, but being practical, yes I am urban farming this year.

We have lavender in the front yard. Lavender is a deterrent for moths and is great aromatherapy. If you have some under your window and open it up at night, or anytime of the day, it can be calming. At night it may be able to help you sleep better. That is if you don’t have allergies that prevent you from enjoying them.

In the back yard we have some tomatoes and that has been nice. We have a big plant and not that much of a yield, but that is this year. Next year we will plan a little earlier.

The chickens have been great and a lot of our friends have been happy to get some fresh eggs. They really do taste much better and cook up faster. The chickens are fun and have their own personality. I never knew that they would. Champers is very much the mother hen and Jamamia is nice and both like to be picked up.

Home fry, the chicken is a big girl and she doesn’t always like to be picked up, but she does like to get water sprinkled on her when it’s hot. We are not always at full production, while we have 7 chickens we usually get 5 to 6 eggs at the most. Someone isn’t consistent in producing eggs.

We keep our dogs away from the chickens since that is their favorite meal just running around there. They only make clucking sounds, in the morning they are noisy the rest of the time not so much. A few of the chickens like to peck on the plastic pail that holds the water. Its’ like a drum for them and they just like making little drum sounds on it. I don’t mind.

It may turn out that I will end up with an egg route and drop off eggs to my friends once a week. I have been joking that I will need a truck with a chicken painted on the side to deliver the eggs.

The whole lesson of urban farming is one that my grandmother taught me. She passed away a few years. I know if she was still around she would be proud of me for being resourceful and tell me once again about the chicken she got from her aunt. My Great grand- father cooked that chicken on accident one day. My grandmother had to go back to her aunt and pick another chicken, she told her father all the way home that, this was her chicken and not to kill it. Right on grandma, thanks for these and other lessons.

Sunday Girl

Mary had never experienced anything like this before. She sat in the coffee shop and drank her coffee read the paper….then just pretending to read the paper she played the events over again in her head. She brushed her blond hair a side and looked down at the freshly painted toes.

The bachelor pads she had been to before had taught her a few things. One, there will never be any toilet paper, two no matter how much the men drank there would never be any beer. Lastly, no matter how much the men liked to eat and could consume there is never any chips or food of any kind handy. The only thing you find on a Sunday morning at a bachelor pad was empty beer bottles and full cigarette trays.

All that she could deal with, she wasn’t surprised. She took another sip of her coffee.

“You want a fill up?” The waitress asked as she came around. She had on her work poly uniform and nurses shoes.

“Please.” and she pushed her coffee cup towards the middle of the table so the waitress could pour easier. Her phone cell phone rang. She was happy to see it was her girlfriend Terra on the other end.

“Hey, so how did it go?” Terra asked.

“I have no idea.” Mary played with the sugar that had spilled next to her coffee cup.

“What do you mean? What happened?” Terra said.

“Okay, Trent asked me to come over after surfing and I thought that was great and all. I even brought some groceries, some toilet paper, and some wine.”

“You brought over some food? Why did you do that?”

“I was hungry and he just asked me to come over and hang nothing about getting something to eat and I just got out f the water from surfing. What like I’m not going to be starving? Who isn’t hungry after going out into the water?”

“Okay I follow you. What did you bring?” Terra asked.

“I brought stuff to make spaghetti and I cooked it up and even made some garlic toast. All the guys that live there were watching the game. I couldn’t talk to them since it was the play offs and I know no matter how interesting I am, I can’t compete with that. Plus they really hate in when women talk and interrupt the game. I made food and pretty much sat there and ate by myself.”

“That totally stinks. What did Trent do?” Terra said sympathetically.

“He ate the spaghetti I made. They all did. He didn’t sit next to me or anything or talk to me during commercials. I got so bored and thought. I could be at home listening to jazz and reading a book. So I left. Even the sight of all those guys in board shorts wasn’t attractive anymore.” Mary said with a sigh.

“Was he just tired from Surfing and just into the game? Really that stinks though. Even a dog will give you a kiss. They don’t have the manners God gave a dog!”

“I guess so. It still stunk. There was one good thing.” Mary said.

“Really what was that?”

“All the beer cans and bottles. They didn’t want it so I took it all and filled up my car. I had enough money after wards to get myself a manicure and pedicure!” She smiled and looked down at her feet again.

Inspiration

There are a lot of people that inspire me, in my dancing and my writing. I get a lot of inspiration from other women, even though I don’t have that many women friends. It’s not that I don’t get along with them. It is just easier to be around men.

Dorothy Parker inspires me as a writer, she was so fun and smart with a wicked sense of humor. You can see that in her writing, her poems always had a bite to them. While her life, and other writers lives can be a mess, she is no less a fine writer.

I admire the courage of women that are the first to do something, like the first to set records in drag racing. As a little girl, bored to tears at TG&Y I was amazed to look up at the model cars and see one woman in front of her own race car. Thanks Shirley!

Other dancers and performers inspire me as well. Right now I am enjoying seeing Lady Ga Ga, at her VMA performance. It’s great to see someone expressing themselves in their art, be it dance, song or both. When I look at other performers I can’t help but be amazed how they put out all that emotion and energy. Sometimes I wonder if I am holding back too much.

The other day on the Sundance channel there was two great shows about fashion. It was wonderful to see Karl Lagerfield designing and laboring over a certain shoulder bad shape. It was fun to see Marc Jacobs playing with colors and making things work. The huge bag that was made of several bags, it was just amazing. While I may never own such a piece of couture it inspires me to dress up a bit more, pull out another outfit besides my main stay of denim skirts and put on my 50’s skirt and a nice top.

Some performers like to carry that idea and mystery of their persona to everyday. I can’t do that, not working at a scooter shop with oil and grease and sharp corners that can catch my skirts. I have chickens to take care of and I wear my big black rubber boots for that. No glam while pick up eggs and getting water for the chickens.

With the classes I take my teachers are an endless source of inspiration. Things that we are working on in class end up in my dances. As a way for me to really get it down, and to expand my routines, it can be boring if a dancer keeps doing the same thing over and over. I have seen really pretty girls that dance; if they throw in a few more moves it would make their dances so much more interesting.


A lot of performers try to be sexy. It gets boring, when there is also sultry, cute, flirty, and smart/sexy. There are so many other things they could do besides just being overtly sexy. If there is little thought behind the act, will anyone remember it?

Cheerleading

There they are; on the sidelines in short skirts and pom-poms in their hands. Jumping up and down and shouting cheers. Do the players really care? It’s the coaches that give the players direction and keep them in the zone. Before and after the game it would be nice to see them and they are pretty, but do they really keep the players going? They may really be there to keep the crowd going.

If the players were really watching the cheerleaders too much, they would be told to get their head ‘back in the game’. When our friends give us encouragement sometimes its’ called cheer-leading. It can be helpful, just like the crowd yelling and cheering.

How gives encouragement to the cheerleaders? Their coaches and what about all the coaches, where do they get encouragement? The people that coach are more of the type A personalities and they are pretty much go-getters in the first place. They don’t always need cheering.

I envy those kinds of people and look up to them. They just go and do and don’t whine and carry on and need cheer-leading. Sometimes they do and their friends and family do the cheer-leading. The ones doing the cheering are usually the type C personalities. They are the helpers and they usually see then need the others have in being cheered on. They are people that also need cheers, but don’t receive them.


It maybe that since they help others, the ones they help assume the cheerleaders have all the pep in the world and don’t need help. The irony, cheerleaders need to be told they are good and need encouragement, why else would they put themselves in front of a crowd of people that will give them applause? Yes, it’s because they need it.

The people that don’t need all that will never understand why others need applause. These ones get praise for all they great things they do and achieve. To get praise for jumping up and down, quite hard work by the way, or acting or singing, seems silly to them. If we didn’t have needy actors and singers, who would we watch perform? At the same time if we didn’t have bankers and engineers; who would have money to put on a show, no one really.

It does take all types to run the world and everyone has something to bring to the table. We can’t look down on artist who does anything just for the love of art, without that dedication we wouldn’t have great works of art. We can’t look down at the stable people that don’t create but do other worthwhile jobs. Neither one is crazy. We should appreciate both the player and the cheerleader; both may need to be built up at one time or another.

Events

There is so much to do around town it can be hard to figure out which events you want to enjoy. This last weekend was no exception. There was Liza, at the Hollywood bowl, other concerts, and films. We went to the last weekend of the Sawdust festival.

As a child I was taken to all the art festival events in Laguna. With the exception of the “Pageant of the Masters” I have done it all. The Sawdust has become my favorite. There is some artist’s work that I only see there and I go every year to see what they have done next.

Like writers these artist work in a studio with just their thoughts and inspiration. Which is great don’t get me wrong, it just can be a bit lonely. If you are not a performance artist, you don’t get to hear how much people like you work and you don’t get that imitate feed-back. Meeting one of my favorite artists over the weekend, I had to admit I gushed. Not that I cared, I know how important to hear the people like my work. I know it’s the same for him.

On Sunday I had a performance and it was attended by one of my girlfriends. It had been a challenge for me to work with a live band. I hope I did a good job; they gave me about a two minute song. For the second act I closed the show with some recorded music. I did get some applause; I don’t think all in the crowd was into it. This is a risk you take when you get on stage.

In all it was a successful night and I am glad I worked on my dances as much as I have. In the last few weeks I have lost 6 pounds. I still have my goal I’m working towards. When I make my goal I’m going to treat myself to a facial or other beauty treatment. Nothing that involves calories, we can’t always think of food as a reward.

Sure not all our weekends are eventful. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a low-key weekend and just stay home, get things done around the house and then relax after a good meal. Some don’t like to be out in a crowd that often they preference is to stay home and only once in awhile go out to a local spot. However we spend our weekends, whatever events we enjoy, at least we have our friends to share it with.

Fab Life

Living a fabulous life is hard these days. There are a lot of good deals out there and here are some of them: Mr Stoxx’s in Anaheim has discounts on drinks Thursday’s. There is also limo service available.

Body Center in Fullerton: Tues and Wends, during the day. 10 am- 5pm massage for an hour is 49.00.

Envy Ultra Lounge in Fullerton: has happy hour even on weekends. They are also running a special, 3 courses 20.00 for 2 people.

Sildebar: the best champagne brunch around! All you can eat and great food, thanks to their chief. 25.00

The Cellar: discounts on drinks on Friday nights 10-2am. They also have free appetizers and great staff that are friendly and helpful.

Check on Channel 5’s website. There is a chain of dry cleaners that is giving free dry-cleaning, if you are out of work and need something nice for an interview. 4 items that you would wear for a job interview. You just show them your latest unemployment stub; Wednesdays’ only.

Why spend too much when with some money you can have a good time. Why don’t you stay in and cook at home, save up for a nice brunch or other treat?

Other discounts can be had at the normal places for clothing. Nordstrom’s Rack is a mainstay in my shopping. I have bought a nice DKNY skirt for 20.00. That might be too much if you have been out of work for a while. There are warehouse sales all over the South land. Check out : warehouseweekends.com, they have the inside scoop on all kinds of sales. Sure you might have to dig, but you can get great deals.

We all have to get creative and find good deals and a reason to go out. Sure we still want the fab life, it just has to be done on a dime!

Speak Easy

One of the great things about living in Fullerton is finding new things in the city to enjoy.

In this last year we have all had to find inexpensive ways to entertain ourselves. One thing we have been doing is taking out bikes out on a week night and going to the local gelato place and getting a small bowl and eating it in the cool of the evening.

Last weekend we went to The Cellar to have a few drinks. I had never been there, and had wanted to go for a long time. Its' a bit more dressy than other places, which is a nice treat and the service is great. With all that, I also found out that on Friday nights form 10 pm to 2 am is their 'Green Hour', for those that don't know it refers to the color of a drink. That drink being Absinthe.

I had not idea they had an Absinthe hour in town. It has become trendy in the past few years. That is not why I find this fascinating. When I was in college I read about famous artist that enjoyed this drink and it has such a rich history.

It feels as if I found my very own 'Speak-easy' here and town and I need to go back and check it out. Forget the folk lore that it makes people go crazy. That was said because of the cheep intimating drinks that were made in the height of its popularity. They were made with inferior ingredients and people suffered because of that. Just as bathtub Gin didn't help anyone.

With all that why try it? It's there, why not? The Cellar also sets out some nibbles and it will be a way to get out of the house, that's another reason.

It has inspired me to go out and find other little treasures in my town that can be had for a small cost.

During the Great Depression people spent money on liquor and entertainment. There was little else they could spend it on. Talking with a local liquor store merchant, they aren't spending enough on that either. Could it be that we are looking more at entertainment and a way to escape the hard reality we have to live with? It is very possible.

Find out what is going on in your neighborhood that is inexpensive and fun...who knows you might find your own 'Speak-easy', in a manner of speaking.

XGames

It’s been over a week since they ended, I know. This was the only time I was able to go in person. A friend got extra tickets so it was a nice treat.

In these blogs I mentioned that I do a lot of guy things, this is one. Out of our group of 7 I was the only girl. Even the other wives and girlfriends stayed home. Not that I minded, I wanted to see the skate boarding and all. It’s great to hang with all guys; they don’t expect you to talk. When I do I make sure to give them the request verbal jab. They like it and it’s a good gauge to see if they are too touchy. You should be able to call them a loser.

The racing we saw was great and I got to see Travis P. get stuck and not be able to get out. He had to walk down and at the end of the race. I am sure this has been replayed on FuelTV a ton since then.

The good thing about being a girl, I was able to run into the Monster Energy drink models in the bathroom. They were nice and let me take their photo, which I then sent on my phone to my other guy friends not at the event. They all enjoyed it and were jealous, exactly what I wanted.

There were tons of free posters and stickers and other goodies to be given away. The Fuel TV booth gave away gifts for recycling. You were to get points for bringing things to recycle, good for you Fuel!

In all it was a great time. I wished I had been there for the freestyle motor cross. I love that they took some tricks they used to do at the end of a race and made it into its own event. I guess what I enjoy the most about this is the shear creativity and endless arrangements of the same movements to come up with something new. To all the boys who entertain us, my hats are off to you!

Looks

As we get older we have to worry about all our living coming back to haunt us. There are old calories that are still hanging around. The only thing to be done is exercise and get rid of them.

For our skin we need to apply creams and lotions to keep us looking nice. The more important thing is who we are and not what we look like. We are all going to get older and lose our looks. We are all going to get wrinkles of course, some use injections to hide from this fact. Recently I had a shock to my system by finding out how bad things were getting.

Now that I’m getting older it’s a cold hard fact that I have to deal with. It’s not easy and I guess I have been averting my eyes to the bad bits. In the last few years I have been taking Pilate classes and belly dancing, I really need to keep this up. It will not get any better by watching TV.

My book has not sold yet and I need to work on that and I need to get some fresh ink into another publication. I need to finish some projects and stop watching so many movies. The great thing about being a writer, I don’t have to be a model.

It can be easy to help others feel good about their looks. We love our friends and find the good qualities in them. Others won’t be so kind. If in a photo there is a heavy girl, will people say she is looks like she is a good friend? Or will they just reject her based on her size? In this age of image, what do you do if you don’t fit the ideal? Hide and eat some doughnuts? Please don’t do that. Work on your personality instead; you can always make them laugh.

While I know I will never be a model, not as short as I am. The idea of being at a smaller size and being healthier is a goal I have. In the coming years it will be to my advantage to be lighter. It’s always better to be fit than over weight.

The things I can be happy about right now: I have been keeping up my exercise. In the last year I have been performing at a coffeehouse in Long Beach. Come what may, I am a good dancer. Even though I am getting older I still get carded, thanks guys. ;-)

One last thing that helps, having friends who love you just the way you are!

Keep Dancing

There have been so many different game shows. Recently there is a dance show that is aimed at losing weight. I feel it is a positive way to keep people moving. Sure, there is prise money, but they have to eat well and lose weight to keep in the game.

Isn't that really the way it is? We all have to keep active and keep going. Times are hard and this year has been the worst in a long time. In the 90's it was bad as well and I can remember when homes were 90K and I still didn't have the money to buy anything.

The same thing has been happening now. There are three empty homes on my street that are repos. There are some great homes in the hills near me that are for sale as well. The thing is of course, no one is buying them. In the mean time we have been trying to keep our own place. Things we have done to cut back, like getting the chickens are paying off. They are laying regularly and the eggs are great!

The shop I work at has hit hard times and we all have to pull together and make this thing work. I have also been working hard on getting my friends to read the first chapter of my book and comment on it. That is still on going and the results will be posted as they come in.

A few years ago at a Writer's Conference the Key Note speaker said something that still rings in my ears. "Don't give up five minutes before the miracle happens". I really do want my book to be a success and I don't want to give up. So for what its' worth...I have to keep on dancing.

Weight

I haven’t lost the amount I wanted to by the time I got to July of this year. Not that I am discouraged at all.

There are more important things that just a number, in the last month I have made a lot of changes to my diet and I feeling much better. There has been an increase in energy and I am sleeping better. The next day I feel rested and better able to deal with whatever comes my way.

My clothes are fitting so much better and even during difficult times during the month I am not in such a bad mood. I have been even smiling and having fun all month long. I know that it’s called junk food for a reason, and I know that I feel so much better without it. My fresh eggs are so much of a reward after all my hard work keeping up with the chickens and they are not full of chemicals.

In the last month I have been eating mostly homemade sandwiches and salads at lunch. I have replaced chips and fries with nuts and some yogurt. We had some pancakes, but whole grain and fresh blue berries. I don’t miss having junk food and I eat smaller more frequent meals and snacks. That way I don’t over indulge when I do eat.

Still dancing and doing my Pilates classes has been helpful as well. Sometimes I get too hungry to stay for Pilates. I am making an effort to eat when I am hungry and not waiting for too long. Potatoes and other starches have been my downfall. There is a bit of pasta in my cupboards but I haven’t used it in a while. More complex carbs help me to feel fuller for a longer time. There is a lot of squaw bread around my house these days.

There are some classes that my doctor recommended I take; they are too expensive for me right now. A little planning and I can go to the classes soon. In the mean time I have been making sure to keep sweets to a minim and keep eating fruits and nuts instead.

There is a lot of help in this matter on the web, which has been such a help. There is no need to keep ourselves in the dark when there is so much information available. While I still have a goal that I am working towards, it’s not the only thing that matters. Feeling better and taking care of myself is its’ own reward. I have more energy to do the things I love. Such as dancing, surfing and playing with my dogs.

Giving Back

There are a lot of celebs that talk about giving back to the community. These are people that are not struggling and can pay their mortgages and have a surplus. There is a bit of arrogance in feeling superior to others less fortunate. Sure charity can be helpful; but sometimes it can feel like a put down.

We all need to have a bit of pride in being able to take care of ourselves. Without that we can get so low that goals don’t seem attainable. For many Native Americans in the Pueblos can attest. Living in a dry corner of the state that no one wants so the rest of the world can forget about them, has lead to despair. If there is no industry and no hope of being educated enough to join the rest of the world, why try?

We can do that to our own families and make them feel so despondent they no longer form goals. Or their goals are so low that it is too easy to achieve. What that does is give them an excuse to do much less than they are capable of, how sad is that?

What can we do to help our family and maybe others? Encouragement for one, in a way that is truthful and dignified, we need to tell our family members things that we like about them, their good qualities. We can find something positive to say about them. Men need to know they are respected, that is the most valuable thing to them. Women need to feel loved. It is out of love that we tell them to look in the mirror and take care of themselves. To get out of the house and take charge of their lives, sure they may resist at first, but they can’t say no one cared enough to tell things they needed to hear.

For our men we need to be careful. We don’t want to nag, and we don’t want to tear them down. We have to not be too emotional but stick to facts. Fact; you are talented at ‘X’ whatever they are good at. We need to praise our men in front of others. Especially other men and we have to tell their friends how proud we are of them.

To our friends we want to share any information that will help them. Bargains and other ways we can save money. We have to sensitive to the fact that they may not be able to go out and pay for dinners. Again helping with networking can be such a help. Of course we can’t help out everyone and don’t need to. There are government agencies in place that people can draw upon when they need help. If that is the case, don’t despair. Use it as a way to regroup and get back on our feet. If you do have a lot of free time, volunteer work can do much to lift your spirits.

We need to help lift each other up otherwise we can get so despondent. When things are this hard, we have to find the good in each other to keep going. This is another way we can give back, even if we are broke.

Reality Check

There are things that are easy to acknowledge and others no so much. I know that at my age a career as a dancer is out of the question. While I am able to dance in small venues and pick up some tip money, it’s not like I will be the next Martha Graham.

It’s not easy to see things the way they really are. We have a tendency to wear are rose colored glasses more than we admit. Recently I found out that a girl I have known for years married the ex-husband of her best friend. It is so odd, he is much too old for her and he and his ex-wife were thinking of reconciling. Now that move, would take another divorce.

I still thought of her for so long as that little girl I knew and was close to. She has married before and that was with another man that was too old for her. It’s as if she is chasing the life the first wife had. Both first wives did not have to work and used to go to Nordstrom’s and shop all the time. It does not look good that this marriage will be any better, her new husband has already told her, he will never love her as much as his first wife.

Why would she marry him after a statement such as that? She wants things to be her way, the dream she has in her mind. That she will be better than the first wife, or whatever. She has shunned her old friends and any one that will talk to her in a straightforward manner and ask her, “What in the world do you think you are doing?” She doesn’t want the reality check, it will come to her one day, if she likes it or not.

In the last few weeks I have had to face things about myself that I have not wanted to, its’ not easy. I can handle it better now that I am a bit older. I don’t think I would have been ready a while back. Now if I am ready or not other things had to be faced, sometimes its work things or it maybe relationships. I know I like to have a lot of attention and I know that can be overbearing at times. It’s not the best quality I have. Over the years I have told myself time and again to stop and listen to others and not take over all the conversations. It’s amazing what you can learn if you stop and listen to others.

As for my old friend, I can’t tell her anything. She will not listen at this point. The great thing about that is, life will teach her better than I ever could. She will not escape this relationship and when things come crashing down she will learn. Hopefully. I can only worry about myself and face my own challenges, my own reality.


PS: just as I am about to post this. I collected the 1st egg from my chickens! It’s a small brown egg. It is broken so I can’t eat it. There will be plenty more where that came from. They are earning their keep! :-)

Diet

This last weekend I found out some disturbing new about my health. Diabetes type 2, exactly what I didn’t want. I have been working out these last few years to get my weight down before I get older and it is harder to lose. I have made some progress and it has helped me feel better.

When it comes to healthy issues and me I tend to get defensive. It opens up old wounds that my mother inflected on me a young girl. If we really want to get down to it, my mother ruined my health at an early age. She didn’t feed my Gerber baby food or make strained pees for me. She fed me nothing but sugar and candy. So much of it I would spit it out, since I was sick of it. She thought since she always wanted sweets as a child it would be fun for me to have that all the time. Not very bright, mom, I became weak without proper nutrition and almost died of pneumonia.

After that I was taken to all kinds of herbalist and specialist. I had a very strict diet with no starches and only complex carbs, no simple carbs and no sugar. I could only have sugar free candy; I could get at Hickory Farms and soymilk. It wasn’t the nice kind we get at the stores now; it was thick like condensed milk.

My mother made all of this drudgery and I grew to resent it. She made it clear that my condition was a burden. She even had to go to the state offices and get more money from food stamps since my diet requirements were so costly. On cold rainy days she didn’t think I might like something warm, like soup or the occasional hamburger and was ready to force me to eat a cold salad. I had to demand a hamburger.

Later when I was older she blamed my shortness on my unfaithfulness in taking my vitamins. The specialist had said if I took them there might be a slight chance I could be taller. It was not a guaranty. She yelled at me and told me if I kept eating sugar, they (the doctors) would have to cut off my foot. Again, thanks mom, nothing like positive reinforcement. It was such a strict diet and it was too much for a child to keep up. I would throw out my pills. I had been taking them for years. It was very difficult to be a child and chained to a regiment of pills and certain foods. I wanted to run and play and not worry about my health every minute.

The only good thing about that time is that now I know the things I should be eating. It is easy for me to get some squaw bread and make the needed changes in my diet to help me feel better and live well. I hate the thought of shooting up insulin. Instead I will cut out sugars in potatoes and fast food. In the last week I have made these changes and lost 3 pounds. I did have to get a blood monitor and still have to learn how to use it. Next week more on this process, for now I am keeping close watch on my diet.

Life and Death

The other day we found out that a friend of a friend died in the Middle East during his tour of duty. It was still a shock, no matter that he was in a war zone. The widow was angry and took it out on a friend saying it was their fault. No one held a gun to his head and told him to take the oath to defend the country against all enemies’ foreign or domestic. He took that of his own free will, but she was just upset and felt the need to blame someone. Part of the process, later she will get to acceptance.

The same day I was taking time to start up a new friendship. We took some time and met for coffee and talked of life. She is ready to start a new part in her life and we talked of that and so many other things.

That’s the thing; death is hard on the living. We have to deal with the pain and we have to go through the feelings of loss and denial, anger the whole gambit. We have to attended the funerals and cry with the families and bring by jell-o molds. Always the jell-o molds show up.

One of the stress reliefs in my life is my dogs. I can cuddle up with them and they help. Just petting them helps me feel better. Looking into their eyes and it helps. They don’t know why we are sad, but they just cuddle up and help us feel better. The best thing we did when our older dog Angus died, was to get a new puppy. Middy, she had no idea what had happened and she helped to cheer us all up. Even the other dog, Gwennie was entertained by her; I think it is the best way to heal from another dog dying. Sure the one that died is mourned and there will be another one just like it, but the new one will help us to remember, life goes on and there is still plenty to be happy and grateful for.

There is nothing like a good friend or a new friend to talk to. We can’t make it on our own all the time. We need friends and loved ones to help us get through it. Even if we can’t find the right words to say, just being there and holding our friend’s hand, or hugging them can be the best thing we can do for them. The rest will just take time; it’s all part of life and death. OXOX

Relief

There are stressful situations that we all have to go through. Sometimes it’s all at once, and we don’t know what to do. Of course we talk about to our friends and try to figure out what to do next. Really the only thing to do is take care of one thing at a time.

Recently I had something come up and the only thing to do were to wait for the day I was supposed to deal with it to come. It was an appointment, and just deal with it then. Sure I had nightmares about it. It is never as bad as I image.

On that day I was prepared and it was fine. My fears were based on my own imagination and nothing more. I was so relieved to get that over with that I had to take a nap after wards.

There are other things that have been a relief lately and some justice is going to be measured out. The hard part in all of this is to be patient and see what happens.

I had a performance this last weekend and it came out pretty good. The crowd was quite and I was trying to move around more to get them interested. It made the sword I was balancing on my head almost fall off. It turned I wasn’t supposed to use a weapon (even a dull one) at this venue. Not a problem, I can use my sword another time at another place.

It was a relief to get that done as well. Not that I hadn’t practiced enough, I had made myself tired getting ready for this dance. I was as prepared as I could be. It was just the first time I had performed with a prop like this and I had been looking forward to seeing if I could handle it.

It’s not just stressful things, that when they pass is a relief. Even fun things like dancing can make us apprehensive. I do like to challenge myself and try new things in my dancing routines. It is great that my friends were there to support, that brings a bit of stress too, since I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of them.

There are few things we can to, to prevent bad things. We can’t anticipate all the challenges that will come our way. The best we can do is take a deep breath when they come around…. All ten of them at once, then take one at a time and deal with them. After wards, sure pour yourself a good tall drink. I know we need that from time to time, as well.:-)

Land of Man

In my work as an office manager at a scooter shop I feel I have entered an alternative universe comprised solely of men. The last few years has been such and still is an education of this place.

In Southern California in the industrial complexes are filled with smart men who are craftsmen and innovators. They make tools and parts and make things faster. They chrome and straighten forks. It may seem dull or silly that I am remarking about this.

It is just such a different from the world I had been from. In the past the offices and most of my co-workers were women. The first job I had was behind a makeup counter at a department store. Most women don’t want to know how things work. We want to pretend that cars are like driving houses and we don’t want to know that things can come apart and all little nuts and bolts and pistons, cylinders that make up an engine.

It is almost as if I have been forced to take a good hard look at the owner’s manual and the exploded view of the parts. I have learned about intake manifolds and performance pipes. Big bore pipes, carbs and gasket kits. At the Vegas rally I listened to a man give me the information of some pipes that can be re-packed. To my horror I knew what he was talking about.

The men I have met have been interesting. They can tune and bore with precision, but none of them can clean or keep paper work organized. By and large they are all Caucasian, not that other ethnic groups are exulted from this world, they just don’t seem to be interested. There are all kinds of schools that can teach anyone how to pull apart a motorcycle engine.

In the last few years, since entering the land of man, it doesn’t make me hate them. I have found a greater understanding of them. The thing about women that only have other women for friends, they never really get men. Women always make things more complicated than it needs to be. Men are really so simple, like a baked potatoes, what you see is what you get. They don’t really change either; woman may spin out of control, in the way the view an argument. To the men it is usually pretty cut and dry. They don’t work hard enough to be complicated. And once something is discussed they don’t obsess about it later, they let it go. They have too much to worry about making money and taking care of things to worry about needy women.

This is just a few of the things I have learned in the land of man. The really good stuff I am saving for a novel.

Kindness

We all have times when we want to get back at people when we want revenge. Okay maybe not that bad, it just may mean we are upset at the moment.

The best thing to do? It is often hard to say. Sure it may feel good to get the 'upper hand', as it were. Most of the times it has the opposite effect.

Is there anything wrong with 'killing with kindness'? Yes it's better if we take the high road and do things people don't expect. As long as its a kind thing, can they really get mad?

In my experience they don't usually get mad when you do something nice. If there is something good and kind that we can do, then what is stopping us? Let's try to find kind words and good deeds to get us through the rough times.

If I can be remembered as a nice person that cooked well and was a good friend, is there anything better?

Teachers

When I was a little girl I thought teachers were just great people who knew everything. This was before I know anything about ‘teacher’s edition’ books.

Over the years I have had many teachers. Lately they have all been exercise teachers and dance instructors. Which is fine, I usually make friends with them and it has been great. They have come to see my recitals and other dances. It has helped me to find the courage to get out there and dance.


Others are teachers without having a class. I learned a lot from one of my old managers. She wasn’t old; it’s just that she was at a job I used to have. She taught by example and she was always kind and generous in her time and knowledge. I have learned a lot from the men I work with now.

Last week there was a customer that was just so unreasonable and looking for a fight. It wasn’t given to him. We have to rise above it. It can be challenging when they are so unreasonable.

I try to learn from other women as well. Different cultures can teach us different ways of doing things. I have learned things from my friends in Europe; they are much more gracious than American’s. The fashion magazines try to teach us how to dress but sometimes they would have us looking silly. I don’t want to be a fashion victim; that’s for sure.

I don’t think I would be a good teacher, and for that reason I am glad I don’t have kids. It’s not that I haven’t learned things to pass on. It’s just that I have gotten stubborn the older I get, I don’t know if I would want the students to learn their way, or my way. It may be that I would want them to be like me and not themselves. I can be that way sometimes. It’s not intentional, just a side effect of my own ego.



From my English teachers I learned a love for words. From my geography teachers I learned the mountain ranges of the world and that put a desire in me to see them, to travel and see these places with my own eyes. From my dance teachers I learned a love for this art form and a desire to execute it correctly. To all my teachers….Thank you for making me better!

D.V.

Diana Vreeland used to have a column called “Why don’t you?” It is in that spirit that I offer up the following:

Stay in to save money, but pick up chocolate soufflé at Trader Joe’s. Made for two they are cheap and fool proof. Saving money need not be boring. :-)

Start your spring cleaning. Just work on one room per week. It’s time to get our summer clothes, give them washing or use some linen spray. I get mine at TJMAXX.

Send a cute or loving or sexy text message today? If you feel it say it.

Pick a new recipe out of your cookbook and try it? If you don’t have one, look at Martha Stewart.com. Always an inspiration in the kitchen!

Check and see if any of the plays or musicals you want to attend, are offering discounts during the week. Cheap seats, but you get out of the house and get some entertainment.

Grab a few extra bottles of wine during your weekly shopping. Traders and BevMo have many inexpensive brands to choose from, your pocket book will hardly notice and when someone drops by, you will have some on hand.

Cook more than one meal at a time. I cook for the week on Monday afternoons. The rest of the week I just open the frig and nuke what I have. It’s great when you are tired and don’t want to cook.

Take an afternoon and turn in your bottles and cans. Take the money and treat yourself to something nice. Make sure your treat doesn’t include calories. Mani-pedi? Or some nice stationary? Too bad wine bottles don’t have deposits on them. I would have new shoes.

The next time you go to the mall and get yourself something get something for someone else. Don’t know what they will want? Hit up the makeup and cologne counters for samples. Put them in a goodie bag and give them to a new mom or male friend that doesn’t go to the mall that often.

Holidays over? Bake some muffins or cup cakes and give them out to friends. No one can say “No,” to a cupcake. Not that big and just right to cure a sweet tooth.

Big day out

Saturday we had a great time and took advantage of living in So Cal. First we put out chickens into their new coop. They were happy and have a nice perch to use and a hutch to sleep in as well.

I cooked up a nice brunch; eggs cheese blintzes and banana, along with champagne. Then it was off to Disneyland. We had not been there in a few years; it was time to go again. The Pirates were down, which was a bummer. One of my favorites, not to worry tea cups were still running. This ride always makes me giggle.

There is some good shopping to be had, and not just the hats. We stopped by the estate jewelry store in New Orleans Square. I tried on a 1920’s flapper ring. Diamonds set in platinum with emeralds. It was a bit over priced, but so gorgeous! I was able to get some Tara Tarintino handbags. One evening bag and one big structured number, both were in leopard print and soft.

After that I was tired, but no rest for the weary. It was time to go home change and then go up to Hollywood for an art opening/ book signing. Betty Page, Heaven bound was the theme. I have met Olivia before at comic con and had her sign things for me. This was no exception and she was as accommodating as ever.

The crowd was what I expected; I knew I had gotten to the right spot when I saw a line of girls dressed to the nines outside. It took a while, but when we got inside there was Superman and Dracula. Some of the ‘girls’ were tall and wore huge heels, which made them tower above the rest.

While in line to get drinks a woman came up and started talking to me out of the blue. It wasn’t a wonder since I was almost to the front and she just took cuts. Her opening line, “Would you like a sip of rum while you wait?” showing me her flask. Okay, rule one from Kindergarten, Don’t take things from strangers! I politely declined her offer. We did chat about silly things and remarked about how crowed it was.

This is one of the few days I have been able to indulge my inner child and then go off and do more mature things in the evening. I guess that is what made it so special, that and sharing it with someone else. I am glad I didn’t miss out on either event. The Olivia event was defiantly the E-ticket!

Book Fest

This last weekend was the annual Festival of Books, held at UCLA. Please don’t think that books or reading is dead. I have attended this event for several years and this year was the most packed I have ever seen it.

Not only do you get to meet the writers and have them sign your books, there are so many vendors and others to visit and see. One feature of the book fest is the panel discussion and interviews with writers. I was able to attend one with Gore Vidal, who has written 22 novels, along with books of essays and so much more.

Since Gore Vidal is noted for his outspokenness on politics, every one that I have mention his name to, has asked me the same question; what did he say?

He started out with an antidote about FDR, who was being pushed around the White House by a young service man. His wheel chair had been stuck and he needed to get to a certain office. The young man was so scared and didn’t know the way to the office he needed to get to. So he keep running down the hall way and then he finally came to the supply closet and put the President in it and closed the door. Roosevelt with his loud booming voice called for help to get out. “I might not be assassinated, but I might be the first President in history to be filed!”

Gore Vidal kept referring to Bush, as ‘the little guy from Texas’. When you are as old as he is, you have earned the right. When asked if history will correctly reflect Bush and Chaney as being horrible, he quipped, “Well every empire has to have its Caligula.” He was appalled that Bush had made the statement that he was a war-time President. He hoped that Obama would not use a military-based economy to fix things. If he went to Afghanistan it could be the start of another war. Gore said to let the Afghans kill each other. Also that 9-11 was because of the USA getting involved in other countries affairs. It was not the work of Al- Qaeda. The thing about with dictators and others who think too much of themselves, they get into a habit of lying.

Of course all of this and more will be in his books and any upcoming essays of his. It was so interesting to listen to a man who has had such a remarkable life. I asked him about his motivation as a writer. He didn’t seem to like that question and just said, “Look, you are either a writer or you’re not.”

I took it as, “I still have a lot to say and I will say it.” To that all I can say is…Here, Here!

Changes

This week has seen big changes in the weather. From the blazing hot this weekend and now cold today. Last weekend the beaches were crowed with families wanting to beat the heat. Of course I was nowhere near the beach. The last place I wanted to be in a crowd.

There have been changes in my job as well. Some are good, most of them, I will just have to wait and see. The most pointed is my attitude. I have to change the way I think about things and that is not easy for me.

A few years ago at another job we all had to read the “Who moved my cheese?” book. In my mind I would like to think that I adjust well. In reality it does take me a while. My ego stops me from looking at how things are, since I want to look who I think it should be. Yes good old denial.

When I get blue, I revert to my daydreams and I play little movies. In these daydreams things come out great and wrap up nicely, I suppose like the wrap of a sitcom. Sure I know deep down that things never wrap up like that and I have never experienced such nice resolutions to my own problems. I just use it as a tool to calm myself down and to regain the optimism I need to keep going.


What kind of daydreams do I have? I dream of the day that I will get the call from a literary agent and they want to take on my book. Another is a meeting with some magazine people about a piece I turned in. There is also the meeting with producers for my script daydream. In all of these I get what I want and my make-up looks great throughout. We won’t go into the Oscar speak daydream, but I have a great dress in that one.

Reality can be so dismal and I have to give myself my own pep talk with these daydreams. The bad part is that my life right resembles none of this and I still have to do the dishes and feed the dogs and run errands for the shop I work at.

I have achieved some of my dreams, and I hope to see others through to fruition. I do this by watching movies about writers, where they get what they want in the end. I read books about the publishing world and this weekend I am going to meet lots of writers at the Festival of Books at UCLA. This will help my soul, to met writers that have made it. I also attend readings in LA from time to time. This also helps me to see that my daydreams are not just total pipe dreams. If I didn’t use the daydreams as a buffer from the real world, I might not have the courage to make change.

Scotland

I usually joke that the only thing about me that is Scottish is my dogs and my whiskey; after years of waiting to go overseas I was now looking down at green hills and white sheep of Scotland. It was just as breathtaking as I had thought.

We landed in Prestwick and our friends were there to greet us at the gate. I hadn’t seen Maddy and Andy in a few years. We met them in San Francisco prior to this and had kept up with emails.

Since we had been traveling for three weeks now and had picked up souvenirs along the way, along with shoes, and purses and other clothing our bags we bursting. Our friends, Maddy expecting mind you, showed up in a Mini, to collect us from the air port. I don’t think that boot could carry as much as it did. Not that we cared, after being in countries where we did not speak the language, it was nice to speak English with our friends.

They took us to Sterling Castle and Edinburgh, also a day trip on the Waverly, a seafaring paddle boat. The only Scottie dog we saw in Scotland was on one of the Islands we stopped at off the coast. There was a group of older men that were celebrating a birthday, when they left the boat in the evening they were dragging their friend, presumably the birthday man, to the car since he could no longer walk on his own.

Another night we met up with fellow Scooter people we had met before, when they were on holiday. We had fun catching up with them and sharing a drink and a laugh. Of course when they all get together it doesn’t sound like English anymore. On the way home we saw three NEDS, that stands for None Educated Delinquents’. One young man had his cheeks completely raw and bloody; he was drunk and had already been in a fight. Seeing him I wanted to ask if Andy needed to use his mobile and call for help. The young man saw I was staring and before I could offer help he started to curse at me and gave me a shove. My man and Andy got in-between myself and the other three; threw them dirty looks. Nothing happened and the three of them kept on their way. My friend Andy was mortified that we had to encounter that. I told him, “It’s not an adventure if nothing happens.” We were fine and got some pizza and went home.

It was great to be with friends and met new ones while we were in Scotland. We did some sightseeing, visited Andy’s parents, and did some shopping. After the record breaking heat of the rest of the trip I was so glad I still had a sweater to wear in Scotland and thankful for the clouds and mild temperature.

Yes we tried some Haggis and it was good. Of all the places we had been to, we were told we had only been in the lowlands. It was hard to say good bye at the airport and we promised to come back. Since we have great friends there, Scotland and Glasgow holds a special place in our hearts!

PARIS

The city of lights, I have been waiting to visit this city since I was a little girl and first saw photos of it. The train station was crowed and after we had visited other countries this was just another stop. We had already made reservations at a hotel on -line before we left the states. Since it was the summer and a tourist destination we didn’t want to chance it and not have a place to stay.

The first room we were in did not have air conditioning as promised and we could hear a loud family arguing. So we went down stairs and got a room change. The next one was bigger, no A/C but it was in the middle of the building and was cooler. Since we had been traveling for a while we did some washing and hung it up in the bathroom.

On to do some shopping, or at least see the designer’s shops I have read about in Vogue since I was 13. We had to go to the Louver. We spent most of the day Sunday there. My feet were sore and tired, but the Mona Lisa was there and other works of art I had to see. Later we stopped by a café and had lunch. I could see the name of a street on the side of a building and I asked the waitress if that was the street of the 1st Chanel shop. I was told it was and after lunch I went and took a photo next to the shop door. I found other shops, they were closed on Sunday but I would be back the next day.

I had a list of places I wanted to see in each city, I was able to find and go to a tea-shop with cakes and great teas. There were the landmarks to see like the Eiffel tower. I am afraid of heights, but I sucked it up and went to the top anyway. It has the best view of the city and we waited till it got dark to see the city below light up at night.

The shopping was too expensive than I had planned and I wasn’t able to get as much stuff as I wanted. Seeing as how we had been vacationing for weeks, the luggage was already getting quite a work out as it was. The buildings are short just like I had noticed in London, but by now I was used to it.

The dining was everything we expected. We had a nice four-course dinner and champagne one night and it was lovely. Being quite once again was the best way to get great service. Remembering to say “Bonjour” was a great help as well. If you can at least manage that it puts people at ease. I have to say here there is an exception to this rule. A friend of ours went to Paris, but with their southern accent, speaking French made the locals think they were being mocked.

After drinking in the architecture and walking around the city for days enjoying fine food and art, it was time to take one more flight, from France to Scotland. Glasgow to be exact and a new stamp in my passport book that reads: Prestwick.

Euro rail

The best part of our trip to Europe was riding around on the trains. The train from Venice to Milan was late and of course the German train was on time. We thought we were going to have time to get some food at the station before boarding the next train but we barely had time to get onto the German train.

Since we were late the first class cars were full so we just had to get on were we could. It had been a hot day and the station was steamy. The second class cars had a small Eisenhower era air-conditioned that barley blew any cool air out. We had already been hot and we couldn’t open the window. There was nothing to do but strip down to out under things and drink tons of bottled water.

By the morning we were in Germany and we went to the end of the car to use the shower apparently everyone else had showered over night and the only towel left for me to use to dry off was a wash cloth. We did get a nice breakfast on the train, there was a small seating area and the cabin steward served us yogurt and some breakfast tea and toast. It wasn’t a lot but it was better than nothing.

We pulled into station at Cologne and found our hotel, which was across the street. The shower on the train really handed left me feeling clean so I used the shower in the room. I was now in the land of the tall white people and the shower head and fixtures were much higher than in Italy. Back to the station and the huge Gothic cathedral, there was s small boys choir rehearsing and the acoustics were amazing. Behind the alter workers were restoring the tomb of some bishop or cardinal that laid there.

The rest of the city was charming and we dined at a café by the river. There was a stag party we saw doing a pub crawl. The Germans were the loudest of all the Europeans we has seen so far and they got louder the more they drank. In one of the places we stopped in to have a beer we had only seen a lager, then later a darker beer. After asking if they had a darker beer we were informed that that was beer and coke mixed together. To us, drinking the normal beer was just fine and it seemed a sacrilege to mix it with coke, we found out later it was called a diesel. We never tired one.

We had inquired about getting lederhosen for a man, but there was nothing in the store like that. Only other knick-knacks we did some shopping. My favorite thing from that trip was a few pairs of pants I bought in Cologne or Koln. It was also obvious that my man’s family might have been northerners, he looked like everyone there. They all had his same nose.

From there we took the train the next day to the city I had been dreaming of all my life, Paris.

Venice

The train was full in the 1st class section, or was this the 1st class section? It was an older train and we still had our own booth to ourselves. One other person was there later. She was very loud and was breaking up with her boyfriend over the phone, and leaving town at the same time it seemed. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but she was yelling on her mobile phone and squeezing her zits at the same time. She also had some kind of drink with her that she didn’t finish and which made the floor sticky. After she left the rest of the trip was fine.

We got off the train and in the shops at the station were a lot of decanter sets and other glass wear. Duh, Venation Glass! We found a place to stay with last minute bookings. It was just on the other side of the Grand Canal. As we exited and boom, we were right on the Grand Canal! It was a breath taking sight; it looks like a film set, the homes in pastel colors and the green water.

The hotel was a little tricky to find with all the nooks and crannies. I asked for some ice, I just needed was a glass full. What I got was a whole big salad bowl full of ice. I said thank you in Italian and took it up stairs. They obviously knew that American’s really like a lot of ice.

We took a ride on a Gondola after dinner. Dinner was great by the way. In the small spaces in the canals it could be just about any century, if it wasn’t for the blue glow of the TV sets in the homes.

The next day we went to the Rialto. There were plenty of shops along the way as well. We found a place that had hand blown calligraphy sets. They set down two tins with all the colors of the rainbow, just full of the pens. “Pick one.” I was instructed. I could no sooner pick my favorite flower at a flower mart! I managed to select two, with gold in the glass and two hand-bound leather journals. As I left I cried a bit, it’s difficult when you hold on to a dream for years and it comes true.

Later we went to the big town square and saw a boy with seeds in his hand feeding the pigeons. His family was filming him and the birds were pecking the food and it hurt him. He was saying “Ouch” and we chuckled, which must have ended up in the film. We also saw a big Scottie dog and asked to photograph him. The owner posed, but the photo is just of the dog.

We did get some Scotty dogs in glass at one of the shops. We didn’t get a decanter set. But it’s good to leave something for next time. We had more gelato, which felt great in the hot summer night. The next day we took an afternoon train back to Malian then a night train to Cologne Germany.

Florence

The day was hot and humid as we rolled into Florence; another train station and another time to look at the last minute bookings. Only this time we ended up in a hotel that was just around the corner from the station.

It was on the 3rd floor and had a very small cage elevator. It was okay but later in the evening I wasn’t sure if the lower floors had brothel or not. There was a lot of yelling. Or it could have just been a drunken husband coming home at night.

I had taken art history while at Fullerton College and I was anxious to see the Uffizi museum and the dome that they said couldn’t be done. As well as the brass doors on the baptismal, which had been awarded to an artist competition. They really liked to do to see who would get the commission.

First things first, after getting settled into the hotel then we went back to the train station and had to book an overnight train we would need in a few days. We also had to book a spot for the train to Venice. It was a long wait and everyone was getting tired. It was very hot, this was a record-breaking heat wave and there are not always air-conditioning in these old buildings. Most of the time they really don’t need it, that’s why. As we left we heard two older women talking. Someone was taking too long at a light and we all had to wait on the curb longer. One said to the other “Mama- mia!” I didn’t know anyone really said that, I thought it was just a stereo-type. It was cute.

After that was done then it was time for more shopping. I bought a nice linen top and some things from Cosabella. That night we went to a café and then got some gelato later. We didn’t have any dessert at the restaurants since it was hot and we wanted to try as much gelato was we could. My feet were getting really swollen and I was getting a heat rash. So we went to the chemist. Or drug store, I showed the pharmacist my hands and what was going on. He got me a cream it had like lemon in it and worked great. I still have the tube in case I ever go back and can get some more.


The next day we did go to the museum and I was the personal tour guide for my man. I told him all I could remember about the artists. It is really something to see in real life the paintings you studied. Sure you have seen them before, like Botticelli’s Venus. But it is nothing like seeing it in person. The color is different than a reproduction and there is nothing like standing in it’s presence!

We only stayed a short time in Florence. The day after we were left for Venice.

Italy

The train took us through the Alps and into the station in Milano. There was a dog some on brought on the train and the dog just laid in the middle of the walk-way and just let people walk around him. He wouldn’t move at all.

We arrived at the station late in the day and from there had to catch an underground and then walk to our hotel. We kept going in circles trying to find our hotel. After a while we had to break down and get a cab and have them take us to our hotel. I don’t know if we would have found it on our own. After checking in we left to go get dinner.

We walked towards the center of town; along the way we saw a driving school that was teaching people how to ride scooters. They did have training wheels on them. We had to take a photo of that. We found some great shops and went to a cafe for dinner. They did not bring out menus and the owner just named off different dishes and we just picked one. They all sounded great, what I got was pasta with ham, egg and some tomatoes and basil. It was great, after dinner we found a place the sold gelato.

We made our way back to the hotel. The next morning there was a breakfast buffet at the hotel. I ended up eating a lot of yogurt when I am in Europe and the coffee is nice and strong. We had made reservations for this place but not ever hotel on our trip was planned out. There is always ‘last minute bookings’ they are at the train station. When you get a room you can ask for the amenities you want, such as air-conditioning and a bathroom in the room. Not down the hall. Most places have some sort of breakfast included in the stay. It makes it nice to just go down stairs and not have to find a place to eat right away.

The day was filled with shopping; there was a sale at the department store. It was great to see men shopping for new shirts and things on their lunch hour. We found a Prada store and other shops. A lot of great shoes and since it was a sale month, so much the better.

The city was not what I expected. Having heard so much about it in fashion magazines, it was a little dirty and grey looking. The fashion was great and the women did dress well. I just expected it to be a bit cleaner I guess. It was amazing to see women dressed to the nines get on to a scooter in high heels and take-off down the street. I wouldn’t do that, too afraid of ruining the shoes.

We only had one day there and it was off to Florence. The train station was filled with pigeons and not that clean. I took a photo to show how bad it looked. In the photo the station looked great and it looks so much better than in real life. Isn’t that just the way?

Switzerland

The flight was short from London to Geneva, funny that it is a time change though. We were with a big group from the states on this flight and one girl behind us was doing the Rocola commercial and making us laugh.

The airport wasn’t that big and it had a train station inside, which made it easy to get to the center of town after getting off the plain. There is also a grocery store in the shopping area of the airport. This came in handy as the Swiss franc is worth more than the American dollar and in Geneva the dinners started at 25 francs.

We stayed at a hotel near the airport, which had air-conditioning and a big bathtub. I only mention that since I am short and it was tall and I had to climb into to use the shower. It was almost half of my height, defiantly built for taller people. It was a record-breaking heat wave that summer. At the end of the days I filled up the tub with a few inches of water to soak my feet. The water from the tap was ice cold and helped a lot.

We went on bus tour the next day, which was nice, up to Interlocken and the small quaint towns in the mountains. The country side was breathtaking and the mountains so dramatic. We also saw some of the government buildings. At the end of the day we made our way into the down town area, the fountain in the lake separates the older part of the city from the newer. Yes, there were Cookco clocks and watch stores. After wondering around and seeing the prices for dinner, we settled on Mc Donald’s. It was just too expensive. The next night we headed for the store in the airport and made dinner in our rooms.

During the days we attended a convention and made a lot of new friends. A few we are still in contact with. Salvi and Gio from Lenzburg, since we met them they have been to stay with us in the states. We have stayed with them in Lenzburg for two weeks in 2005. I

At that same convention we also met some nice people from southern France; we still need to go see them. In fact it reminds me to write them a letter soon. We did find a reasonably priced dinner and ate there a few times. We still remained quite during dinner and everyone else was, even children at the table were quite.


The city was very clean; we spent so much time meting people at the convention we didn’t really get a chance to get to know any locals. The ones at the shops were very nice, as was the staff at the hotel. One thing that American’s have come to believe is that good manners and worrying about good manners is for the rich and stuck up. In Europe everyone is concerned about good manners; it matters if you are rude.

The time we spent in Geneva was too brief. We may need to go back. The convention was over by Sunday. Monday we checked out and got on a train to Italy.

London Part 3

For the woman who has everything does that include a diamond encrusted dagger? It does for HRH Queen Elizabeth II. We found that out when we toured the Tower of London and the exhibit of the crowned jewels. Since it was summer it was crowed, but still worth the wait. If I had been any bigger I would not have fit in the spiral staircases of the tower itself. As it was my hips were touching the sides.

On the way there we did some shopping and I was desperate to find some shoes that would be comfortable with all the walking around I had already done, and being overweight, my feet were already swollen. Not to mention we had two three more weeks and several more countries to visit.

Other than finding that looking at the street map and finding the tube makes don’t jive. We were still able to get to the places we wanted to go to. The key, finding the station nearest your destination, and the helpful Londoners that had mercy on us after watching us looking at the map for a while. Someone would come up and ask, “Can I help?”

“Yes please, we are trying to get to Harrods.” They were very nice and friendly. We met a man with a Scottie dog, and he let us take a photo. We did make it Harrods, landmarks in shopping for me. Behind the store were some nice homes, we looked around and found that some had blue plaques if someone historic had lived there. We found P.J. Wodehouse’s former residence. We also went into Harvey Nick’s, I wanted to see were Pasty and Edwina would shop at. If you don’t know that is a reference to AB FAB, shame on you.

After days of eating in our room we finally shook of the jet lag and made it to dinner. We had a coupon for a restaurant/pub. They claimed to be the oldest pub in London. It was the coupon that drew us in. When we arrived at the place the restaurant part wasn’t open. We got a pint down stairs and looked for a place to sit. An older gentleman waved us over. He asked where we were from and told us about places around the world he had traveled to. He had never been to the states. He was nice and we let him just talk. After a while he got up and put on a heavy wool coat that was bright red. (As in, The Red Coats are coming!) Since it was July I was shocked he could wear that coat, I figured it was his job.

We had a nice meal and after words the staff asked if we wanted to take a photo next the napkin. What napkin? The one that we are supposed to believe it was used by Queen Victoria. Whatever the case might be, it made for a fun photo op!

The next day we got up early and took the tube back to Heath row and got on our plane to Geneva. We got to see the crown jewels, the British Museum (No one seems to mind if you touch things) and Harrods, all the places we wanted to go see. We had wanted to be in the UK for our first European city, at least we knew the language, and the next countries were going to be interesting. On to Switzerland!

Cut-backs

In these hard times we all have to make sacrifices in our normal routines and try to economize were ever we can. Here are a few things I have been doing to save.

Pull out the bread maker again. The ingredients are not that much, if you buy in bulk or just small amounts.

Half your portions: when I buy meats for dinner, I make sure to only use half and save the other half for another meal. If I am still hungry I make a salad and or just have a nice glass of wine or something to drink.

Cooking at home: The good old crock-pot. Stews last for a few days and can be cooked up while you are work, so can nice pork roasts. Beans with a good couple of ham hocks can make meals for a while. I have made beans and made them into frozen burritos that can be micro waved at work for lunches. My tip, put in some baking soda, it helps cut down on the gas factor.

My hens don’t lay eggs just yet, but they will help. Also their droppings will make the veggies I planted grow well. It is also great for your compost pile. The best gifts are ones you make yourself. I have been saving my corks and making them into trivets. Just get a large hose clamp at the AutoZone and use that as a belt and you don’t even need a hot glue gun.

Staying in all the time can be a drag; there is only so much on TV. The Getty is always free; you just have to make a reservation for parking. That is both at the Malibu site and the one in Brentwood. Why not absorb some culture for free? Need to get out to the movies, there is nothing like getting in early in the day, you get the discount and avoid the families and teenagers in the evening.

I don’t mind staying in if I have something interesting to eat. Spread your spending wisely and you can afford some shrimp. Make a little shrimp cocktail and have a night in. Much better than spending money on tips and parking, don’t you think? If things get worse, ballet slippers were not on the ration cards last time, they are real leather and comfortable.

London Part 2

The next day was a Sunday, and while the museums and shops were mostly closed it was still a chance to look around.

We took the tube and got out around Big Ben. It was so quite around the river for such a big city Sunday was really relaxing. After takings some photos and looking around we walked towards Westminster Abby. The buildings around were all so short. I was shocked, this is one of the world greatest cities and there didn’t seem to be any buildings higher than 5 or 6 stories high. I guessed it was too much work to carry bricks any higher. Along the river I had seen some other high rises, just not that many.

Since it was Sunday and Westminster was holding services so we couldn’t tour. We kept walking towards the mall and Buckingham Palace. I have heard these names before it was funny to see that they are all within walking distance from each other. It was warm and a bit muggy that day. We waited around Buckingham Palace for a while. Not sure if they did the changing of the guard every day. The park around the palace was nice and green with great trees. We did see some guards on horseback by one of the gates and took photos. I wondered if that was any ones goals to be a guard here. I was told later that these jobs go to people in the military but ones from good families.

Next was on to Trafalgar square. I had seen these archways and later the lions in movies of course. There is something about going there yourself. After taking more photos we found a place to eat, we asked for breakfast. It came with beans and tomatoes and eggs and I think we asked for toast. I had seen a similar dish in a movie and I had wanted to try it.

I had wanted to go to Europe since I knew it existed. In my teens I spent a great deal of time watching British comedies and films set in Europe. What had I pick up on was phrases and vocabulary that is not used state side. (such as state side and the loo for the bathroom)

Still tired form jet lag after look around for hours we went back to our hotel to have a nap and then we planned to get supper. Unfortunately we over slept and got dresses and went to a pub, but the kitchen was closed. Across the street was a cornerstone and we got some more wine, bread cheese and salami for dinner. On TV were tons of American western movies. I haven’t seen than many westerns in a long time, funny I had to come to London to see them. On the news was a foot race for beer, it was held in Scandinavia and the men had to carry their wives and the winner won his wife’s weight in beer. One greedy man with a heavy wife was trying to win, but he dropped her. If you drop your wife, the rules are that you are out of the race.

With all the walking and the humidity my feet were starting to swell. It wasn’t fun and I had brought skirts and now needed a pair of linen pants. I found them the next day at H and M.

Europe

This is going to be a travel log of sorts of my trips to Europe. Starting with my first trip and my first city, London England.

July 2003.

Landed in Heath row airport and we get out luggage, quite a bit for two people, but some of it it’s used yet, we have extra bags to bring back gifts and clothes in. Since we will be here for three weeks I had to pack all kinds of extra items, like pain killers and such. We will also be attending a convention in Geneva later, so we had more dressy items that we had to pack.

We make our way to the subway and find one that will take us to the center of town; from there we will change trains and get another that will take us to the Kennsington station. We are staying in that area. We are quite tired and dragging all these bags doesn’t help. I know we look like tourists, but soon we can check in throw our bags in the room and lighten our load. It is rush hour and everyone is commuting to work.

On the way in we can see the small houses and other stations on the outskirts of town. There is graffiti on some of the buildings and retaining walls. Since I have been to New York City and seen really hard core graffiti this looks lame and doesn’t have the curves of either the New York kind or the LA kind. There is none of that hip-hop feel to it. It’s too straight up and down and stiff looking, not funky.

We change trains and get confused as to which platform we need to get to. My man walks over the a hard core punk rocker who looks like he could kill with his bare hands and says, “ Excuse me sir, could you tell me where we need to be to get the train that takes us to Kennsington Station?” He gives him a bewildered look for a second then tells us nicely where we should get the train. He is thanked and he nods and turns back towards his train.

We make it to the Hotel just fine and check into the smallest room I have even seen. Good thing we had watched American movies that showed this, I was prepared.

We didn’t know where to go eat, but we found Safeway and got some wine, pepperoni and French bread. We found that after wondering around the area by the hotel, there was a nice park we went into and then we looked for food. We took that back to the room had a snack and went to sleep. The whole time we were in London we kept missing dinner because we would take naps and wake up too late. The next day we planned to go sightseeing. Sure it was touristy, but you have to see it once, right?