Thursday, July 30, 2009

Looks

As we get older we have to worry about all our living coming back to haunt us. There are old calories that are still hanging around. The only thing to be done is exercise and get rid of them.

For our skin we need to apply creams and lotions to keep us looking nice. The more important thing is who we are and not what we look like. We are all going to get older and lose our looks. We are all going to get wrinkles of course, some use injections to hide from this fact. Recently I had a shock to my system by finding out how bad things were getting.

Now that I’m getting older it’s a cold hard fact that I have to deal with. It’s not easy and I guess I have been averting my eyes to the bad bits. In the last few years I have been taking Pilate classes and belly dancing, I really need to keep this up. It will not get any better by watching TV.

My book has not sold yet and I need to work on that and I need to get some fresh ink into another publication. I need to finish some projects and stop watching so many movies. The great thing about being a writer, I don’t have to be a model.

It can be easy to help others feel good about their looks. We love our friends and find the good qualities in them. Others won’t be so kind. If in a photo there is a heavy girl, will people say she is looks like she is a good friend? Or will they just reject her based on her size? In this age of image, what do you do if you don’t fit the ideal? Hide and eat some doughnuts? Please don’t do that. Work on your personality instead; you can always make them laugh.

While I know I will never be a model, not as short as I am. The idea of being at a smaller size and being healthier is a goal I have. In the coming years it will be to my advantage to be lighter. It’s always better to be fit than over weight.

The things I can be happy about right now: I have been keeping up my exercise. In the last year I have been performing at a coffeehouse in Long Beach. Come what may, I am a good dancer. Even though I am getting older I still get carded, thanks guys. ;-)

One last thing that helps, having friends who love you just the way you are!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Keep Dancing

There have been so many different game shows. Recently there is a dance show that is aimed at losing weight. I feel it is a positive way to keep people moving. Sure, there is prise money, but they have to eat well and lose weight to keep in the game.

Isn't that really the way it is? We all have to keep active and keep going. Times are hard and this year has been the worst in a long time. In the 90's it was bad as well and I can remember when homes were 90K and I still didn't have the money to buy anything.

The same thing has been happening now. There are three empty homes on my street that are repos. There are some great homes in the hills near me that are for sale as well. The thing is of course, no one is buying them. In the mean time we have been trying to keep our own place. Things we have done to cut back, like getting the chickens are paying off. They are laying regularly and the eggs are great!

The shop I work at has hit hard times and we all have to pull together and make this thing work. I have also been working hard on getting my friends to read the first chapter of my book and comment on it. That is still on going and the results will be posted as they come in.

A few years ago at a Writer's Conference the Key Note speaker said something that still rings in my ears. "Don't give up five minutes before the miracle happens". I really do want my book to be a success and I don't want to give up. So for what its' worth...I have to keep on dancing.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Weight

I haven’t lost the amount I wanted to by the time I got to July of this year. Not that I am discouraged at all.

There are more important things that just a number, in the last month I have made a lot of changes to my diet and I feeling much better. There has been an increase in energy and I am sleeping better. The next day I feel rested and better able to deal with whatever comes my way.

My clothes are fitting so much better and even during difficult times during the month I am not in such a bad mood. I have been even smiling and having fun all month long. I know that it’s called junk food for a reason, and I know that I feel so much better without it. My fresh eggs are so much of a reward after all my hard work keeping up with the chickens and they are not full of chemicals.

In the last month I have been eating mostly homemade sandwiches and salads at lunch. I have replaced chips and fries with nuts and some yogurt. We had some pancakes, but whole grain and fresh blue berries. I don’t miss having junk food and I eat smaller more frequent meals and snacks. That way I don’t over indulge when I do eat.

Still dancing and doing my Pilates classes has been helpful as well. Sometimes I get too hungry to stay for Pilates. I am making an effort to eat when I am hungry and not waiting for too long. Potatoes and other starches have been my downfall. There is a bit of pasta in my cupboards but I haven’t used it in a while. More complex carbs help me to feel fuller for a longer time. There is a lot of squaw bread around my house these days.

There are some classes that my doctor recommended I take; they are too expensive for me right now. A little planning and I can go to the classes soon. In the mean time I have been making sure to keep sweets to a minim and keep eating fruits and nuts instead.

There is a lot of help in this matter on the web, which has been such a help. There is no need to keep ourselves in the dark when there is so much information available. While I still have a goal that I am working towards, it’s not the only thing that matters. Feeling better and taking care of myself is its’ own reward. I have more energy to do the things I love. Such as dancing, surfing and playing with my dogs.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Giving Back

There are a lot of celebs that talk about giving back to the community. These are people that are not struggling and can pay their mortgages and have a surplus. There is a bit of arrogance in feeling superior to others less fortunate. Sure charity can be helpful; but sometimes it can feel like a put down.

We all need to have a bit of pride in being able to take care of ourselves. Without that we can get so low that goals don’t seem attainable. For many Native Americans in the Pueblos can attest. Living in a dry corner of the state that no one wants so the rest of the world can forget about them, has lead to despair. If there is no industry and no hope of being educated enough to join the rest of the world, why try?

We can do that to our own families and make them feel so despondent they no longer form goals. Or their goals are so low that it is too easy to achieve. What that does is give them an excuse to do much less than they are capable of, how sad is that?

What can we do to help our family and maybe others? Encouragement for one, in a way that is truthful and dignified, we need to tell our family members things that we like about them, their good qualities. We can find something positive to say about them. Men need to know they are respected, that is the most valuable thing to them. Women need to feel loved. It is out of love that we tell them to look in the mirror and take care of themselves. To get out of the house and take charge of their lives, sure they may resist at first, but they can’t say no one cared enough to tell things they needed to hear.

For our men we need to be careful. We don’t want to nag, and we don’t want to tear them down. We have to not be too emotional but stick to facts. Fact; you are talented at ‘X’ whatever they are good at. We need to praise our men in front of others. Especially other men and we have to tell their friends how proud we are of them.

To our friends we want to share any information that will help them. Bargains and other ways we can save money. We have to sensitive to the fact that they may not be able to go out and pay for dinners. Again helping with networking can be such a help. Of course we can’t help out everyone and don’t need to. There are government agencies in place that people can draw upon when they need help. If that is the case, don’t despair. Use it as a way to regroup and get back on our feet. If you do have a lot of free time, volunteer work can do much to lift your spirits.

We need to help lift each other up otherwise we can get so despondent. When things are this hard, we have to find the good in each other to keep going. This is another way we can give back, even if we are broke.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Reality Check

There are things that are easy to acknowledge and others no so much. I know that at my age a career as a dancer is out of the question. While I am able to dance in small venues and pick up some tip money, it’s not like I will be the next Martha Graham.

It’s not easy to see things the way they really are. We have a tendency to wear are rose colored glasses more than we admit. Recently I found out that a girl I have known for years married the ex-husband of her best friend. It is so odd, he is much too old for her and he and his ex-wife were thinking of reconciling. Now that move, would take another divorce.

I still thought of her for so long as that little girl I knew and was close to. She has married before and that was with another man that was too old for her. It’s as if she is chasing the life the first wife had. Both first wives did not have to work and used to go to Nordstrom’s and shop all the time. It does not look good that this marriage will be any better, her new husband has already told her, he will never love her as much as his first wife.

Why would she marry him after a statement such as that? She wants things to be her way, the dream she has in her mind. That she will be better than the first wife, or whatever. She has shunned her old friends and any one that will talk to her in a straightforward manner and ask her, “What in the world do you think you are doing?” She doesn’t want the reality check, it will come to her one day, if she likes it or not.

In the last few weeks I have had to face things about myself that I have not wanted to, its’ not easy. I can handle it better now that I am a bit older. I don’t think I would have been ready a while back. Now if I am ready or not other things had to be faced, sometimes its work things or it maybe relationships. I know I like to have a lot of attention and I know that can be overbearing at times. It’s not the best quality I have. Over the years I have told myself time and again to stop and listen to others and not take over all the conversations. It’s amazing what you can learn if you stop and listen to others.

As for my old friend, I can’t tell her anything. She will not listen at this point. The great thing about that is, life will teach her better than I ever could. She will not escape this relationship and when things come crashing down she will learn. Hopefully. I can only worry about myself and face my own challenges, my own reality.


PS: just as I am about to post this. I collected the 1st egg from my chickens! It’s a small brown egg. It is broken so I can’t eat it. There will be plenty more where that came from. They are earning their keep! :-)