Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Cleaning house

The term ‘spring cleaning’ brings to mind mothers airing out the feather beds and going through the house and making sure every nook and cranny is clean. I missed the spring and am getting to it now.

It can be scary that two people can gather so much stuff. I have talked before about not having kids on this blog and I have to say my stuff would run over any kids things. I don’t even have room to house a guest. Well I didn’t till last week, but now it’s nice and clean and there is plenty of room.


This maybe the least interesting thing about me. Yes, I like to cook and clean. The reason I bring it up is only because it makes me feel good. When I am waiting for things to happen in the rest of my life I need a project to work on. At my job I audit myself to get things done. At home I need to clean and purge my house of extra things that I don’t need. It’s all about using my time for positive things and keeping too busy to worry about things I can’t change or things I have no control over.

I have just finished working on my book and after working on a long project like that the house does need to be paid attention to. At my office there is cleaning that can be done and I will get to that soon. As for the rest that I can’t control I have to keep praying about it and leaving it in more capable hands than my own. If nothing at all I can clean up and use my energy in a positive way. I might still have things on my mind but I will be too tired to worry about it for a long time and there is nothing like a nice clean house that you can invite your friends to.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Procrastination

It is always easier to get ourselves distracted by other things and do the hard work we really need to. If we have lots of friends on line than we might feel the need to email them and keep talking to them instead of doing other things.

When I was in school I used to do the easy homework before the more difficult. I rationalized that I was still working and getting things done. It wasn’t totally untrue but I would get too tired to do the other homework. Then being tired I would put off doing the other projects I need to do.

I know we have all been there. In the last few weeks I have again been working on my manuscript. Sometimes getting to it is the most difficult. I don’t really know why. Once I get started it goes along pretty smoothly and it doesn’t take me long to make the needed corrections. So what is stopping me from digging right in?

Rejections really. Having sent in my first chapter out I have received rejection letters and it stinks. No matter how much you have to deal with that in publishing. It still hurts and it doesn’t get easier. The fact of the matter is that you have to go through this in order to get to a place where you are an author. Yes, it’s called ‘paying your dues’. In the past I had only thought of actors and singers having to do this. Now I know better.

The only thing that keeps me going is my goal of getting my book published. I would have stopped a long time ago if I had wanted to make a lot of money and right away. I have wanted to be a writer since I was about 11 years old. It took me a while to even get this far.

I have to keep telling myself it will happen, has to happen. This is my life’s work the big dream of a life time and not a passing fancy. Sure there have been bumps along the road and there will be more. It’s worth it to have something you have spent so much time on come to life as it were. No more procrastination for me.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Reading

As a child I was not the fastest reader. I still am a bit slower than others, but I really do enjoy it. My first grade teacher used to have a footed bathtub in the corner of the classroom. If we were good we could go into the tube and read. I loved that and I would be extra good just to go relax and read in there.

I think that had a lot to do with my view of reading. That it was relaxing and a treat, one of life’s pleasures. I also think that is why I have always read slowly, since I like to savor it and it’s not something I want to rush.

There are other things I love to savor, like time spent with friends. Maybe it’s OD-ing on too many design magazines over the years but I do like to see my friends enjoy meals I cook and put out tea lights and create a nice atmosphere. Where these ideas all go astray is in the fact that I have so many books and magazines and newspapers around the house.
In fact you can tell where I sit and have been in the house by the stacks of New Yorkers and books on my side of the room.

While I am no, ‘Neat Freak’, by any stretch of the imagination, it does get to me every once in a while. Then I have to thin out the piles of magazines and the ten or so books I am reading at any one time. Even the trips to IKEA and purchasing of bins to put them all in doesn’t really help. Okay, so I need some more book shelves that’s for sure. This is an improvement over how I used to be. I used to save my old fashion magazines with a religious fervor. It was getting scary. It wasn’t the books themselves but the hope that one day I might be able to afford some of these things and go to these places.

I can say that after meeting some of my personal goals I didn’t have to cling on to the security blanket of Vogue’s like I had once done. It is much better to realize your dreams than to keep dreaming. Now I have no problem throwing out old magazines when I am done with them, they no longer are such a big deal. As for my books, I guess when I am gone I will donate them to a local library or something. I have a nice collection of signed first editions I am not letting go of anytime soon.

Why all this mess? For the simple fact that I love reading and the written word. A well constructed sentence and great photos. The feel of heavy card stock paper, or linen paper with jagged edges. The fresh ink on paper, or the glossy paper in fashion magazines with a black and white photo on it. Here’s to my favorite addiction reading… and as far as being a totally goner with no hope of recovery. Guilty as charged!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Baggage Check

In the travels we take in life there are things we need. Money, tickets, passport and of course our luggage. In our personal growth the challenge seems to be how to get rid of the baggage. If it is from the last boyfriend, or family business or a divorce, whatever the case the baggage is there.

I have had my divorced girl friend go on and on about her EX, she was going on a first date with someone new. She called me before the date and was going on about her Ex and the new guy and his EX and what should she ask him. She had turned this invite in to such a panic and I told her not to bring up any of that and just relax and be glad you don’t have to eat alone that night. Much to the distress of her date she didn’t listen, and of course he left and there was no second date. I have heard the same kinds of things from my male friends and it is a turn off no matter what your sex. Funny thing about that, I am talking about the two that went on this date.

Clearly she was bringing her baggage with her to drinks and dinner. I guess we can’t really get rid of it, but maybe we could change out the big suitcase with the wheels for a coin- purse?

In working on my book I have been trying to do just that. In the last week after going to the conference I feel I have made a breakthrough. It came to me in a dream and after thinking about it and talking about it, it makes so much sense. It’s true I do tend to go off about some of this stuff, and my friends are so great for listening to me.

If it weren’t for my good friends I would not make it, none of us would. We need to share with someone else. There is a great befit to asking the, “I know this sounds crazy but just
Hear me out for a minute” questions. We can convince ourselves of anything and make it sound fine in our heads. Out loud can be something else entirely.

Once I have a chance to make heads or tails out of what is going on, I feel so much better. Today I have the strength to do things for others and I have been smiling and singing in the car. It is like taking off a heavy shoulder bag or backpack. I don’t think that I have reduced it to a coin-purse just yet. It does seem to be getting a bit lighter these days.